There’s been a pretty big shakeup in Hollywood recently, but the dating landscape never sits still, and celebrity dating continues to stun and confound us. Our September updates were relatively tame compared to the swerves our best and brightest stars are taking this month; these morsels are juicier than ever, packed with all the gossip we can fit into one page.
The latest news is here for your starry-eyed satisfaction – feast upon the rumblings heading our way in October, and decide for yourself how crazy a relationship can get in the limelight…
Stuck in the Pitts
Like a sighting of Haley’s comet, it’s impossible to ignore a breakup that comes along once in a generation, laying waste to our idea of the perfect marriage. In case you’ve been hiding under a rock with your Mr & Mrs Smith DVD cradled in arm, the shock of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce has thrown us back into our chairs, numbingly mouthing words of sadness and disbelief.
They were Hollywood’s Golden Couple for more than a decade. Now, child abuse allegations are trickling out, whilst Jolie holes up their six children in a rented mansion away from their father. We light a candle every day for the split of the century so far.
A Swift resolution
Ahhhh, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor… we’re suffering whiplash from her dating travails, although none of her relationships could reasonably be called a car crash. Now that Tom Hiddleston is swaggering his merry way back to singledom – having apparently gotten bored of her in 3 months – the music star’s been texting ex Calvin Harris, quick as ever to make people adore her again. Be careful, Calvin – she’s too lovely to pass up, and she might chew you up again.
Baby, they’re a firework
Straying into fairy-tale territory this month, we’d like to welcome Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry into our hallowed hall of favourite couples. The two have been jetting everywhere together since May, when they announced their partnership on social media. Those elusive ‘sources’ close to them claim that an engagement is on the cards.
We know that Katy Perry is probably hesitant to jump back into the marital bed, seeing as her rapid-fire betrothal to Russell Brand became a wet squib. Yet we encourage, with every ounce of our being, that Orlando juts his chin out and plucks up the courage to ask her. It just seems… right.
The second act of love
Since Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth made nice a few months back, we’ve been wondering what kooky pastimes they’ll surprise us with. This is Miley, after all – the lizard-tongued, Beatles-butchering, crotch-grabbing pixie of 21st century pop music.
Typically, their actual collaboration is striving to be artistic and, who knows, it very well could be. They’re alleged to be writing a play together, based in part on their 4-year experience of falling in and out of love…
That’s October done and dusted for now then, although there’ll doubtless be another shock to blindside us tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. Every instalment of celebrity dating news tends to ruin our predictions for how a famous hook-up is turning out; that’s the spice of life, we suppose.
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