You’ve spent time, effort and money getting ready for your date.

 

You know the venue, the time, you’re excited to meet this person you’ve been messaging back and forth. You’re hopeful that the elusive spark will be there, that this could be the start of something real.

 

What do you pack in your handbag, or slip in your pockets before you leave though to help make sure the evening goes smoothly?

 

There is always something that you can think of that could help you in a sticky situation – ever ripped your skirt on a date and now obsessively carry around a sewing kit?

 

I’ve put together a list of items for ladies and gentlemen that can help put your mind at ease while you’re on a date – after all, if you are prepared for something, it very rarely happens and you can just relax.

 

Ladies

  1. Mini Listerine/ Breath Mints/ Mini Toothbrush
  2. Mini Dry Shampoo
  3. Antibacterial Gel
  4. Blister plasters
  5. Body moisturiser
  6. Nail file
  7. Tampon
  8. Taxi fare
  9. Mini Umbrella
  10. Mascara/Lipstick

 

Gentlemen

  1. Spare jumper
  2. Taxi fare and loose cash
  3. Smart shoes
  4. Breath mints/mini toothbrush
  5. Comb

 

Feeling sick? Got a cold? How to cancel your date gracefully

By signing up to an online dating service, you are declaring to the world that you are ready and willing and available to date. You are putting yourself out there, on the line, ready for acceptance and rejection, in the hope that love and romance are just around the corner.

 

Having gone to the effort of deciding to join an internet dating website like Free and Single, filling out your profile with just the right balance of measured wit and lighthearted whimsy, taking the perfect profile picture and cultivating a messaging relationship with one or two promising people there are only three reasons you would cancel a long awaited date with someone;

 

1) Sickness

2) Genuine Emergency

3) You have changed your mind

 

So, how do you go about actually cancelling this date? Presumably you do not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings, you’ve been there and you remember what it felt like.

 

It entirely depends on why you are cancelling.

 

First, try and cancel as far in advance as you can. A last minute drop out is less than flattering to your date and doesn’t show much consideration for them, their time and effort in getting ready for the date or their feelings at being cancelled on.

 

Second, if you still want to have the date but your pre-arranged time or date just isn’t going to work for you anymore, then let them know you are only postponing the date. Consider sending flowers or a handwritten note apologising for cancelling and asking to reschedule.

 

Now, to the the crux of the matter – why are you cancelling in the first place and what do you say to get out of the date?

 

1) Sickness

If you are ill, you have to let them know. You don’t have to go into the gory details, but let them know how rough you are feeling. Calling someone ten minutes before you meet them to let them know your throat ‘feels a bit sore’ is not going to fly if you plan on still having this date in the future. If you feel sick the morning of your date, send them a message to let them know you are not feeling tip top and you’ll let them know by lunchtime whether you are going to make the date or if you’ll have to reschedule.

Remember, an apple a day…

How to postpone your online date at short notice if you're ill

 

2) Genuine Emergency

This category is, by ts very nature, unplanned and unpredictable, so reasonable notice may not be possible. However, let your date know the moment you know you won’t be able to make it and unless you are guarding a National Secret, give them an explanation; ‘I’m sorry I can’t make it, my neighbour fell down the stairs and I need to take her to hospital, I’ll call you later to catch you up and reschedule our date.’  This will go over much better than the classic soap opera; ‘Family emergency! Sorry! Bye!’

3) You have changed your mind

The best thing to do here is the hardest. Go anyway and let the date make your mind up for you – you obviously felt some sort of interest or you wouldn’t have got to the point where you had organised a date with this person.  If it doesn’t go as you hoped, no harm, no foul, no second date. Just make sure you let them down gently. After all, you should always treat others how you would wish to be treated!

 

Do you have any particular little habits you indulge in before the big first date? Any special rituals to bring you luck or calm your nerves? Whether it’s gulping down a glass of wine before you go to chill you out (not recommended) or googling your date for conversation ideas, everyone has something they like to do.

 

We talked to a few Free and Single’s about what little rituals they have to do before they go out on a first date with someone new.

 

‘I always have a couple of girlfriends round the night before to help choose an outfit, fill me in on any news I might have missed during the week for conversation starters and to let them know where I’ll be going – safety is super important to me when online dating.’

Maria, 32

 

‘I’m always running around the house like a headless chicken searching for my lucky pants! I know its a cliche, but they work!’

Jamie, 27

 

‘I look in the mirror in my hall just as I’m leaving for the evening, check my lipstick and top it up one last time – I want a rich, red pout when my date sees me for the first time. It’s my signature look and if they don’t like it, we won’t get on.’

Lilliana, 28

 

‘I GPS the location of the date on my phone if she’s arranged it, so that I’m not the muppet who turns up twenty minutes late apologising because I got lost. I like to be on time, for dates if nothing else!’

Mitch, 37

 

‘I organise something to do the next day, so I won’t be waiting by the phone or the computer or over-analysing what happened. I love meeting up with friends for dinner, or going to the playpark with my daughter so that I won’t think too much about what happened.’

Lea, 26

 

‘I stop by the local greengrocers to pick up a flower, so I have something to give her when we meet – it breaks the ice and I’ve never known any women hate flowers!’

George, 30

 

Do you have special pre-date rituals that you just have to do before a first date? Let us know in the comments!

 

Stuck for ideas for dates to do as Spring begins?

Here’s our Free and Single online dating guide to how to have a great time with your date, whether its a first meeting or the start of something special!

 

1) Get together and head to a craft shop to pick up supplies – get stickers, paints, glue, jewels, felt – and then set up shop at a table and decorate Easter Eggs together.

2) Wait for a sunny day and then head to the garden center! Grab some seeds or a pot plant you want to nurture and then plant something together.

3) Head to a cafe with pavement space and order brunch, then enjoy some downtime sans technology and just chat and people watch together.

4) Go to a local tourist attraction you have never visited before despite it being on your doorstep and have fun experiencing something new with your date.

5) Head to the beach and paint little hearts on random pebbles so other people can find them later. Spread the love!

 

You know that feeling you get when you first meet someone and there is an undefinable spark?

Your stomach is filled with butterflies, you can’t help smiling when you think of them and people keep asking you what’s going on because you are ignoring your coffee fix?

 

Well, that’s not love folks, that’s infatuation.

A crush. Sexual attraction. It’s a good thing because it shows there is something there to build on, to work with. However, many couples find that as the infatuation fades along with the first few misunderstandings or arguments, the relationship starts to break down.

 

For some lucky couples though, they make it past this beginning phase.

They work out their ‘teething’ issues and it is this process of supporting each other and working together that starts to build real emotions into their chemistry.  Trust is built and the relationship blossoms into love. Here are four signs that you may be in love;

 

1) Seeing them smile or laugh lifts your mood and you would do anything to make them happy.

 

2) You automatically try and share their experiences and stresses, to lighten the load.

 

3) You want to forgive them straight after you’ve cooled off from an argument because you can’t bear being grumpy with them.

 

4) You project them into sharing your future with you, unable to picture a moment without them there to support you.

 

Don’t worry if you don’t think you’re experiencing any of these signs.

All relationships are different and these feelings are all part and parcel of an emotionally mature relationship. You have this to look forward to, possibly with one of your Free and Single dates!

 

Don’t fret if you’re not there yet, so long as both halves of the relationship are feeling happy you should live in the moment and enjoy the experience.

 

If you’ve been dating for a while, or even if you’ve just started, the change in seasons always gets us thinking about how to change ourselves, be better and reach our full potential. The gap between seasons is traditionally when people do the most clothes shopping, get their hair cut or invest in new beauty products to see them through the new season.

 

It’s the same with dating. You want to be the best you can be when you head out on a date. It leaves you confident, filled to the brim with self-esteem and ready for anything – be that a another random blind date or the potential meeting of the love of your life.

 

Here’s our five top tips for getting the Springtime feeling into your dates. Enjoy!

 

1) Add more vegetables to your diet. Start adding in more coloured fruit and veg as the produce comes into season and boost your vitamin and mineral counts. This will result in healthier skin, hair and body, you’ll feel 100% better and you’ll be looking good too.

 

2) Clothing. Dump those dark, dingy tones that took you from work to bar during the rainy season and consign your coat to the back of your wardrobe. Invest in some lighter, brighter new colours, knits and prints to instantly lift your mood and make you feel more optimistic.

 

3) Have a laugh! Head so a comedy film, or have a great night out with a friend who makes you chuckle. Laughing is proven to boost your mood and make you more attractive to the opposite sex. All that smiling will get your confidence sky high and you’ll be ready for an onslaught of Spring dates in no time!

 

4) Plan a trip. Now is the time to take advantage of all the early bird offers out there and book a holiday with some friends. It gives you something to look forward to on days when you are not feeling your dating luck is going too well and if you do happen to be heading into a relationship come trip-time, the holiday will give you some time apart to enjoy reconnecting with friends and family.

 

5) Start exercising. Yes, I know it’s hard to get off the sofa when the evenings are still a little drab and dreary, but think this way: if you had started a new exercise regime in November, you’d be fighting fit now with all the pain behind you and all the gain ready to rock at those Springtime speed dating sessions! So start now and be strutting your stuff on the beach come Summer.

 

Dating advice can often be women-centric or else completely unrealistic because it is published in a men’s magazine which strives to maintain a sense of macho pride. The best people to ask about how you’re doing on a date are the women you are dating. Of course, actually asking the very women you are sitting across the table from at dinner is likely to look needy and a tad insecure, so we are here to help!

 

We have gathered some advice from women about what their recent male dates could have done to take the date from blah to huzzah!

 

Top 5 Tips About Dating for Guys

 

1) Manners are important. If you don’t want to drive her off immediately, be polite. That means tone down the swearing in conversation, pull back her chair for her at dinner, offer to pay the bill, hold the door for her, chew with your mouth closed. Yes, some women nowadays find this type of action an affront to their feminist values. Most will just be charmed that you were chivalrous enough to do it.

 

2) Listen. The point of dating is to find out about the other person and in so doing, determine whether you like them enough to have another date. It is a proven fact that people love to talk about themselves, but by showing interest in what your date has to say, you will actively be proving your worth as an attentive human being and a great date.

 

3) Relax. I know it’s hard, everyone experiences nerves on a date. However, think of something that calms you down and then channel that calm, confident person. Women don’t tend to like feeling like they are terrifying their date speechless, so if you are so nervous about your date that it is affecting your ability to talk, try practicing by putting yourself in situations where you will have to talk to strangers.

 

4) Make an effort. It’s nice to know that you value yourself, it makes you look like someone a women could value in turn. If you show up to your date in scruffy jeans, a hoodie and a baseball cap then it just shows that you value your own comfort above the need to make a nice first impression on your date. Either that, or you’re a college student.

 

5) Honesty. There is no need here to go on a full conversational leap through the ins and outs of your dating life for the last four years. If you feel that you are a part of a situation that could affect your potential relationship, such as going through divorce proceedings or that you have a child, never hide this fact. It’s part of the package deal and if they like you, they’ll let it go. If it’s too much of a deal breaker for your date, better for both of you that you find out sooner rather than later.

 

 

Today is the day of love and romance and we’re celebrating record amounts of happy online daters here at Free and Single!

 

 Here are a few last minute tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day. Enjoy!

 

1) Try making this sweet origami heart to give to your date to show you care (and you’re good with your hands!)

 

2) Get seriously cheesy by visiting a specialist cheese restaurant and sharing a fondue for two!

 

3) Ladies, embrace the day and all it stands for by painting your nails to match your sentiments.

 

4) Guys, wear your heart on your sleeve for one day a year by investing in some special cufflinks.

 

5) Lastly, read this before heading out tonight to avoid searching for conversation starters.

 

When looking for that special someone to share the sunset with, you want to know that you have a network of support to fall back on. We’re here for you. If you want to talk about dating, love or relationships, the Free and Single team are ready and waiting to answer your questions! Just tweet us @freeandsingle or leave a comment. You can also check out our Facebook Page.

 

In the last post, we covered the tricky issues surrounding the truth on dating profiles. In this post, we’re going to take a look at three  qualities in your online dating profile that really affect how people see you.

 

Lifestyle

Potential dates looking at your profile are going to be interested in the life you lead and your interests, primarily to see if you are compatible. However, don’t underestimate the few who look at your life and think, ‘Hmm, I’ve always wanted to be an artist’s muse/Ad-man’s wife/Equestrian’s partner.’  Some lifestyles have the allure of the big screen depictions and people can often fall for the idea of the glamour, instead of the reality. So if you are an accountant for a small firm in Scotland, you will probably be offered less dates than a plastic surgeon who attends all the latest parties in LA. Silver lining: the dates you do get offered will probably be more meaningful and high quality because the people asking are actually interested in you, and not just your ability to get on the VIP list.

 

Marital Status

This should be a no-brainer. Unless you are on a cheaters-style hook-up site (which I do not condone), you should not be looking to get involved with anyone who is already spoken for. Just don’t do it.  If they are displaying that they are married, move right along. Of course, in this day and age, it’s no longer as simple as ‘Single’ or ‘Married’. There are a whole sea of divorced, partnered, single parents,  complicated relationships out there. You shouldn’t let something like divorce put you off if the person in question sounds like a great match – but go into it aware of their history and sympathetic to their needs.

 

Age

Age is a tough one. Some people can find their soul mate, but a few decades too late to be the same age at the same time. Age in a relationship is really only down to society – in Regency times, 18 year old girls were married to 34 year old men, because that was the norm.  In Roman times, 10 year old’s could be married to join two families together. Nowadays, while we all have the freedom to choose a partner from any walk of life, there can still be a lot of prejudice against couples who are not close in age. You’ll have to get to know someone before you can write them off completely, but you should base your initial impression on age unless it is a real issue for you.