type

You know exactly who you’re looking for, so why is it so hard to find that perfect person?

 

Unlike other people, you already know what makes your perfect mate, so there is no need to waste your precious spare time dating someone who doesn’t make the cut. In short, you have defined your soul mate and you refuse to compromise. After all, you shouldn’t have to.

 

Well, I have news for you that may come as a bit of a shock – maybe make sure you’re sitting down?

 

Your finickiness about who is and isn’t right for you is destroying your chances of falling in love.

 

Yep, I said it. By being so demanding about the characteristics, careers, looks and lifestyle of your preferred partner, you are actively narrowly down the pool of candidates…and not in a good, efficient way either.

 

Yes, if you already live life to the full, you want a partner who slides into your life and fits perfectly first time around. However, that’s not love, that’s a figment of your imagination. It is possible that if you’re in that frame of mind, you’re really not ready for a relationship.

 

A relationship is about adapting your life and melding it with someone else’s. That’s why it is so hard if you break up, you have to untangle your joined lives to go your separate ways again. If you broke up and didn’t notice the difference, well, it doesn’t say much for the quality of your relationship, does it?

 

Try opening your mind to the possibilities. There is a reason why rom-coms always have the heroine end up with the annoying best friend instead of the devilishly handsome doctor who seems to good to be true.

 

I dare you, for the rest of the month, look outside your comfort zone when examining profiles with potential. Have you only ever dated Gemini’s? Go crazy, message a Taurus. Do you always date blondes? Try for a frisson of excitement with a redhead instead. Do you find yourself judging someone’s worth by their employment? Try dating someone in a different field of expertise.

You stand to be pleasantly surprised and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find yourself compatible. I’d say it’s worth it – give it a shot today!

 

Do you have a ‘type’? Do you constantly fantasise about tall, dark, handsome motorbike riders? Or maybe voluptuous, raven-haired hairdresser’s do it for you every time?

 

Well, I have to tell you something. Having a ‘type’ of person that you constantly date is kind of daft. Not only are you seriously limiting your pool of choices, but if you are still looking for dates, well, clearly your ‘type’ is not working out so well in the long term.

 

 

 

Be Broad Minded in your Search for a Date

While a certain degree of pickiness about who you spend time with can be a good thing – for instance, don’t give your number to the sexy cat burglar or the dude smoking weed at 11am on a Tuesday morning – being overly choosy about who you deign to spend time with will mark you out as unapproachable and snobbish. Not to mention kind of boring.

 

Dating should be about pushing your boundaries, meeting different people, finding out and experiencing new things you probably would never have tried on your own. If you date the same ‘type’ every time you leave the house, chances are you’ll be spending a lot of time repeating yourself.

 

Michelle, 31, from London, UK says;

My date picked me up at 7pm and took me to the restaurant. I had been to the same place twice before…also on dates. I got to thinking – all three dates were about 6’1, dark hair, up-and-coming accountants – clearly, I had a ‘type’ and that ‘type’ was just as clearly not working for me.’

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Try Looking at Other People Without your ‘Type’ Glasses On

Try expanding your horizons. Just because you don’t instantly feel a pull towards checking out any more of a Free and Single member’s profile because they don’t fit your pre-programmed ‘Must have curly hair’ mentality doesn’t mean that you may actually connect on a deeper level. After all, while we all are guilty of it, judging someone on their appearance is superficial. Your life partner may have poker straight hair but find all your jokes hilarious. Who knows?

 

Brody, 40, from Sydney, Australia says;

I first saw Mai’s profile and ruled her out. She was a gorgeous Asian women, with long black hair, almond shaped eyes and a killer smile. However, I had always dated blondes before and I was convinced that I was meant to end up with a blonde haired, blue eyed lady. A friend told me to grow-up, so I took a chance and winked at Mai. Not only does she love BBQ and snowboarding, she is the exact height for me to put my arm around her shoulders. We’ve been together for about 4 months now. I’m so glad I took the chance.’

 

So give it go. After all, variety is the spice of life! Even if you eventually end up with the exact ‘type’ who you always thought you would, it is after all possible that the experiences you had getting to that relationship – and the people you shared them with – that make you who you are and who your ultimate partner finds attractive about you in the first place.