There’s someone out there for everyone, as the saying goes. Whoever said that must have had a pristine dating record, because the reality is that, most of the time, we try to be people other than who we are. When matchmaking puts a magnifying glass to our ‘best’ qualities, it’s tempting to glaze over the truth.
However, it really is a loser’s game to do so. Deception won’t do you any favours, and here’s why you shouldn’t lie about your body type:
The source of the trouble
The internet can do strange things to people. Although we build up walls around ourselves anyway – subscribing to fashion for the sake of it, saying what we think people want to hear – the online bubble takes all of those impulses and makes them twice as powerful.
Social media has done a lot of the damage, asking us to edit our lives to become vibrant, interesting people, the kind that complete strangers want to be friends with. Since online dating asks strangers to (potentially) be so much more, the same pressure begins to boil, with awful consequences for our self-image.
It becomes more ferocious when we consider that appearances, at first, can make or break an attraction. We might look thinner, larger, balder or older than we’d like, but readying that profile photo, and selecting your body type, cements those shortcomings in the glare of a PC screen. Simply put, it seems to sum us up, as if that chunky cleavage or rogue nostril hair is all that people will think of us.
Why none of it matters
“There I am,” you might wonder, biting your nails, “for all the world to see.” That’s a scary thought. Before you know it, you’ve edited your profile photo, changed your ‘body type’ to athletic or lean, and created a bio that stretches the truth into something you hope will be more impressive.
The façade might last for a while, but dating shouldn’t be about that. As soon as you start to make a genuine connection, the lies are at risk of being peeled apart. You’ll be forced into a situation where a meeting will be delayed, and then another, because you’re too terrified to reveal yourself without a Photoshop filter. And when you do meet, the illusion will be shattered.
So, we’re telling you – don’t count yourself out. Not everyone goes for a certain type. Beauty may surprise you; a girl or a guy might seem way out of your league, yet completely adore your humour, insight and point of view on the world. Being as honest as you can means all those hours and days scouring for a great match could, actually, pay off. Otherwise, you’ll break their trust: it’s might be a small deception, but it’s a lie nevertheless. And conscious lies are kryptonite to a real connection.
Sign up for a FreeAndSingle account, and be proud about who you are. Some thinning hair on top, or a little sag around the waist, shouldn’t stand between you and the match of your dreams. Remember, physical characteristics only make a single impression – your persona has the chance to make many more.