How To Let A Date Down Gently

Dating Advice

When you’re familiar with online dating, half the fun is not quite knowing who you’re going to meet. Online profiles can only tell you so much, which means meeting a diverse range of people. On the flip side, your date might not always meet expectations. Dealing with rejection is something you’ll need to prepare yourself for. However, you also need to be able to tell people that no further dates are on the agenda. Let’s look at how to get over this awkward situation in the nicest way possible.


Honesty Is The Best Policy


After a date, you’ll probably know if it hasn’t worked out. So speak up sooner rather than later if you want to avoid further contact. The last thing you want to do is string someone along because you’re finding it difficult to turn him or her down. Hurting someone’s feelings is never easy, but when it comes to ending a budding relationship, an open and honest approach is the best way to go.


Kill It With Kindness


‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ as the saying goes. After the first five minutes on a date, you might wish the ground would open and swallow you up, just so you can get out of there. But your date might be having a great time. So, even though you know the date is dead in the water, don’t act unfairly or dismissively towards them. Be polite, courteous and treat your date the way you’d want to be treated in the same situation.


Keep Their Confidence Up


After you’ve been emailing or chatting online, a date is the next logical step for both of you. But if you decide after your date that you don’t want to meet again, resist the temptation to just ignore them or block their messages if and when they contact you. This will only cause upset and uncertainty for them, and potentially knock their confidence for future dates. Let them know why you don’t want another date (without going into detail), but be firm, fair, polite and upfront.


It’s Not You, It’s Me


‘It’s not you, it’s me’ may be touted as being one of the worst break up clichés around. However, use it wisely and it could be to your (truthful) advantage. Be clear as to exactly why it is you and not them: “I don’t feel any real connection between us”, “I’m looking for something else at the moment” and “I don’t see us as anything more than friends” are all genuine reasons for not wanting to date someone anymore. Word it nicely, and remember to be firm in order to avoid any further unwanted advances.


Telling someone you don’t want to date them again can be difficult, but it’s all part of the dating game. If you haven’t found your Mr (or Mrs) Right yet, get started at You’re sure to find someone that you want to grab hold of – for good!

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