Playing Hard to Get Online – The Pros and Cons

Playing Hard to Get

Online dating can be a tricky game, and knowing how to play it can leave many of us with our knickers in a twist. Do you reply straight away to that first message or leave it a few days? How long should you get to know him or her before asking them out on a date? Playing hard to get is a classic dating technique, but isn’t necessarily fool proof when applied to online dating sites. We weigh up the pros and cons of acting cool to help you make up your mind.




When all there is to know about a fellow dater is a brief bio and the picture on their profile, there’s something to be said for not rushing in too quick. Sure, you’ve been sent a very flattering opening message, but how do you know it hasn’t been used on countless other singles too? Or worse, what if they’re a creepy stalker in the making who won’t leave you alone after you’ve given them some encouragement?


Waiting a day or two to reply will root out the latter – if they start sending pushy messages asking why you haven’t replied, you’ll know to avoid them altogether. Meanwhile, taking the conversation slow and holding your guard initially will help you avoid online players who have one thing on their mind.


If they really like you, giving them a bit of a challenge to win your attention will only increase their interest and ensure you have the upper hand in the dating game. Or so the theory goes.




Hard to get doesn’t go down with everyone though, and as many people turn to free dating online to make looking for love more simple, fun and uncomplicated, a lot of people shy away from ‘the game’. Especially with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s important not to shoot yourself in the foot by acting overly apathetic towards their attention. More people sign up to internet dating in January and February than any other time of the year, so don’t miss the boat as there are plenty of other fish in the sea for singles to catch.


Meanwhile, taking the initiative to make the first move is a bold but often successful step in online dating. A lot of women (and men!) are too shy to put themselves out there, but someone has to do it if you’re going to start a conversation. A casual and chatty opening message might just be the start of a blossoming relationship! But you’ll never know unless you show an interest.


When deciding what approach to take towards the dating game, a little bit of hard to get never did any harm – but be careful not to make yourself unapproachable. Be flirty, open and ready to mingle, do whatever feels natural, and you’re sure to find someone who’s on the same page.


Photo Credit: Capture the Uncapturable

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