relationships

Relationships. At the end of the day, if you’re reading this blog, visiting Free and Single and browsing dating profiles, it is for a purpose. You’re not here for kicks, you’re on the hunt for a potential life partner.

 

Now, first, before we go any further; I beg you, have you thought this through? When you picture a ‘relationship’ are you seeing the ups, the downs, the good times and the arguments? Or are you rosily contemplating a life filled with chocolates, red roses and sunsets?

 

Relationships take work. Not back-breaking, miserable Monday-morning feeling work (if it feels like that, it might be time to call it a day). But work nonetheless. There will be days when, say, you’re hungover and want to nap, but your other half is sick and needs you to go out and get cough medicine. There will be times when you really want to go shopping, but it’s the only day your partner’s parents are in town for a visit. There will be points where you question why you are together at all.

 

However, there should also be some serious ‘ups’! Surprise bouquets and being whisked off to the theatre, voluntarily skipping Saturday’s game to accompany you to your best friend’s wedding. These good moments make the work and the compromises easier, make them worth it. At the end of the day, you know you have someone who will support you, look after you and laugh at your jokes.

 

Here are some tips for working that relationship:

 

  1. Never go to bed angry. Ever. No matter how annoyed you are, no matter how tired. Calmly, without shouting, explain that you’re hurt, you’re not happy with the situation, but that you really need to sleep right now or you’ll mess up your big meeting tomorrow. Schedule some time to talk about the issue as soon as possible the next day. Move the venue for the discussion to neutral territory, somewhere public where you can’t shout at each other. Then give them a hug and a kiss and go to bed. The thinking space alone should help resolve the issue the next day.
  2. Now you’re in a couple, you have to think about what the other person would like. If you’re not into that and you don’t understand the word ‘compromise’ then you are not ready to handle a relationship.
  3. Keep the surprise, the suspense and the excitement. Thoughtful gestures, little gifts, compliments, asking for details about their day – all small acts that add up to keep the love burning.
  4. Listen to each other. One of the all-time most important tips for anyone, in any situation, be it dating, friends or relationships. From listening comes true intimacy, true connection and lasting love. You will learn about the other person, you will learn about yourself and you will form a bond that transcends the ordinary.
  5. Keep lines of communication open. Your life is no longer just about you, now you’re sharing it with someone else. You don’t have to report your every move to each other, but if you’ve agreed to meet up and you’re late, show a little common courtesy and phone to tell them. Even if you feel restricted by the interest your other half shows in your whereabouts, it could simply be that they are worried about you. When you’re late, instead of rationally explaining it away as traffic difficulties, they are picturing you mugged and bleeding in an alleyway.

 

We all have moments, as singletons, where we think; ‘What’s the point?’

 

Why are we expending all this energy and money and time on trying to find a relationship?

It’s at this point that you have to take a step back from the dating scene to re-evaluate what it is you want, are looking for and need from a future partner.

 

After all, sometimes you can just get caught up in the dating whirlwind and forget what it is that you’re actually there for. When dating stops being fun and starts being a chore, you know you have to take a break and rediscover yourself. After all, if that certain someone special were to walk through the door tomorrow, would you want them to see the frazzled, disillusioned, down-and-out you, or the refreshed and fabulous, ready-to-fall-in-love you?

 

Clearly, you want to be at your best when the big moment comes.

 

Sometimes, the most important relationship in your life should be how you treat yourself. Take some personal time to catch up with friends and family and just get out and about exploring your world as yourself, without any ulterior motive of attracting a significant other.

 

Here are some ideas for rediscovering yourself and refreshing your mind before diving back into the dating pool.

 

1) Take joy in being completely able to do whatever you like. Come Saturday morning, you don’t have to wait around while your other half tries on clothes in the mall, or cheers the local footie club to victory. You have the freedom to do absolutely anything that takes your fancy without having to check in with another person first.

 

2) Spend a bit of cash on yourself. Without having to report your spending habits to another, you can splurge on that new widescreen TV or pair of designer shoes without worrying about hiding the box in the wardrobe.

 

3) Take some time to design an interior that really appeals to you and reflects your personality. You can re-do the space so it suits what you now use it for, content in the knowledge that it can be completely your taste and not a mish-mash of styles.

 

4) Take joy in the lack of damp towels spread over the floor of a morning, or the constant cry of ‘Put the loo seat down!’ Maybe your own personal hell is arriving in the bedroom to find clothes scattered everywhere from that morning’s game of ‘I have nothing to wear!’ At this moment, your space is your space and the annoying habits of another half a distant memory.

 

5) Cook whatever you want to eat, or go out to any restaurant you fancy. You don’t have to constrain your mealtimes to accommodate someone else’s preferences, weird diets or finicky eating habits. Revel in the pleasure of eating whatever you please, even if that is cheese and nutella sandwiches – hey, there is no-one to judge you!

 

Here we go;

 

Its that time of the year again. No sooner are we done with the holidays than the pinkest, soppiest, biggest card selling celebration of the year swings round again.

 

Do I sound like I dislike Valentine’s Day? A day that essentially, in name alone if no longer in action, celebrates the martyrdom of a saint and the romantic rambling of Chaucer?

 

Well, I have to be honest with you – I’m not  a fan. But you had guessed that already. What I am a fan of, is showing people you care.

 

The system of rules and requirements currently in place in many people’s mind on how to react to a date or a loved one (‘Wait three days before you text him back!’, ‘Never be free on short notice!’) seem to me to be specifically designed with one purpose in mind: to never allow two people the time or energy to actually fall for each other hook, line and sinker.

 

I say, this Valentine’s Day, drop the rulebook! Kick it out of the window for all I care and start saying what you mean, when you mean it.

 

If you have been making eyes at the girl who catches your bus every morning for months, but never even sat next to her – start sitting with her, chatting, smiling if nothing else.

 

If you’re with someone you don’t see yourself staying with long term, dump them. Sounds harsh, but you both need to move on with your lives. (No excuse to not do it nicely though, and face-to-face).

 

If you are hoping against hope that you will meet someone before Valentine’s Day and go on a romantic date – then make it happen! Don’t wait around for fate to pick someone off the street and deliver them wrapped in a bow to your doorstop – join Free and Single and start taking control of your life again.

 

You can make it happen – sign up now and see who you meet. Have a great Valentine’s Day everyone! 🙂

When we are little, we see that everything in the world comes in pairs. We hear stories about Princesses finding their Princes (or usually being found by them, up a tower or about to become dragon chow). We attend weddings where two people are joined together.

 

Later on in life, as teenagers, we might date a few people either seriously or not. The world seems full of possibilities and you don’t want to get ‘tied down’. You flirt with potentials, you make friends easily and you experience what life has to offer.

 

A bit older still and you start to value the idea of having another person in your life. Someone you can talk to, who makes you laugh and who will always be ready to share a cup of tea with at the end of a long, hard day. Someone who lights up when they see you, who holds your hand, who knows just what to get you for your birthday.

 

This person is shaped by the views of ‘togetherness’ that we are exposed to over our lives. Ladies expect a modern-day Prince Charming, with a feminist slant, a love of handiwork, chivalry and the ability to put the toilet seat down. Men expect a sexy conversationalist they can have  a good time with, who cooks a mean Sunday Roast and forgives the odd damp towel on the floor.

 

The thing is, you never know who will be perfect for you. On paper, a person can seem like the ultimate match made in heaven – but in practice the spark fizzles and never quite catches alight. The key to the ‘Search for a Soulmate’ is to, in fact, not search at all. Let it happen naturally.

 

The best thing to do is reach a place where you are happy with yourself (for after all, if you don’t love yourself, how can somebody else?) and where you can accept the possibility of another person entering into your life. Sure, do things to help it along – but your first goal should be in making yourself happy. Buy some new outfits or get a haircut – for your benefit. Try out some of those activities you have always thought about doing but never quite got around to – see which ones make you happy. Fill in an online dating profile, but don’t obsess over it ever waking minute.

 

You’ll be surprised. One day, you’ll get back from your fencing class, or pottery exhibition or just a night out with your friends and you’ll log on and see someone has winked at you. Someone nice. Someone who would like to meet you for lunch. Someone with whom you will share that spark.

Free and Single Online Dating helps you find the one!

Having signed-up to an online dating website, you must have some idea of exactly why you want to date. If, in thinking about it now, you suddenly realise that your aims for a relationship are somewhat vague, then take some time now to think through what you really want – it will really help you find success on Free and Single.

 

 

 

 

To help you along the way, we’ve come up with a few questions to ask yourself – go ahead and be a little introspective!

 

1. Do you want a partner because it seems like all your friends are paired up?

 

2. Are you looking for casual dates or are you searching for that special someone?

 

3.  If you met someone who seemed perfect for you in the next ten minutes, would you play coy or go for it?

 

4. Are you prepared to compromise on the life you have built up as a single person?

 

5. Are you ready for the change that another person in your life would bring?

 

6.  Are you dating because its what you are used to – should you consider some time out to just be you?

 

online dating to find love

 

Having decided your reasons for starting to date again and signing up for Free and Single’s internet dating service, you should make sure you fill out your profile to the best of your ability (include lots of your personality!) and put a great, recent photo of yourself up.

 

Free and Single internet dating for everyone

Scuba Diving 

Try this on for size – a full length wetsuit in fashionable black neoprene with go faster flashes of blue. Wap on your shocking orange rubber flippers and a fetching pink snorkel set and check in to your local PADI Divers school to learn how to breathe underwater and explore the oceans like a fish. Perfect for Fit Free and Singles.
Great for Fit Free and Singles, Scuba diving makes for a different date night

Zoo keeper

Ready for a walk on the wild side? Why not treat your date to the ultimate in day out activities by booking yourselves in for a day as a zoo keeper. Grab your safari suit, floppy hat and desert boots (maybe pop some rubber gloves in your bag) and off you go. Picking up poo has never been so attractive as when it belongs to an angry tiger! Perfect for Young Free and Singles.

Young Free and Singles will love a day at the zoo

Cabaret evening

Feeling a tad naughty after the Summer sensation that was ‘5o Shades of Grey’? Why not grab your significant other, don some sequinned nipple tassels and French knickers (maybe put more clothes over the top, but it’s up to you) and head to a theatre club (like Proud in London or Brighton) for a light supper and a bit of burlesque action? Perfect for our XXX Free and Single Members.

XXX Free and Singles might enjoy a cabaret evening

Sensory Experience Restaurant

Bored with the same old dinner date scene? Do you get a bit nervous meeting new people? This version of dating will rock your socks! Head to a sensory restaurant (such as Dans Le Noir in London) and enjoy your companions company over a delicious dinner…in the pitch black. Wear your pajamas for all your date will notice, although I’d advise dark colours in case you spill soup all over yourself. Perfect for Divorced Free and Singles.

Great for Divorced Free and Singles who may be feeling nervous about dating again

Go Ape

Like to monkey around with a new date? Harness up and take it to the treetops with one of the Go Ape franchises. Wear tracksuit trousers, trainers and a fleece and then don your climbing gear to scramble around platforms and rope swings high up in the canopies of some of the UK’s best woodlands. Perfect for Free and Single Parents who can take their sprogs along to join in the fun.

Free and Single Parents can take their families along to Go Ape too

Venice Carnival

Got some cash to burn on your date? Why not go all out and fly to Venice for the Mardi Gras carnival? Hire (or commission) some sumptuous traditional gowns and suits and on no account forget the matching masks. Parade around the city on romantic gondalas and sip wine from goblets in St Peter’s Square. Perfect for our Wealthy Free and Singles.

The Venice Carnival is a perfect date for Wealthy Free and Singles

Horse trekking

Get out of the office and into nature by hiring out a horse for a hack. Saddle up and don your riding boots, hard helmet, tweed jacket and tan jodhpurs for a ride about the countryside with your date. Maybe pack a picnic too? Perfect for our Professional Free and Singles.

Get back to nature Professional Free and Singles, with a horse riding lesson

Dinner at a swanky hotel

Do you enjoy getting to know one another over a candlelight dinner by a top chef? Why not dress up in your finest (I’m thinking channel Vivienne Westwood-style tailored evening gowns and Savile Row-style suits), head into the city and choose your destination dinner. Perfect for our Cuddly Free and Singles.

Cuddly Free and Singles can enjoy getting to know each other over dinner

Salsa dancing

Fancy a turn on the dance floor? Ready to get up close and personal with your partner? Why not try a dating dance lesson for some unexpected fun and you never know – you might just discover a new talent! For the ladies; wear swishy skirts in hot colours and low heeled shoes with an ankle strap. Gents; don a fitted shirt (v-neck optional) and smart trousers.  Perfect for our Mature Free and Singles.

Learn a dance move for our Mature Free and Singles

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Splash out on a special occasion with a ride through the skies! Wrap up warm in jumpers, coats, hats and boots so you stay toasty while floating through the clouds in your air balloon. Men and women alike, remember your leather gloves – wouldn’t want that flute of champagne to fall out of your grip now, would we? Perfect for all our Free and Single daters!

All Free and Singles will love a balloon ride!

 

Here at Free and Single, we know that while the first part of a relationship is fun, nerve-wracking and exciting, as you mellow past the first year or so you can start to grow complacent. You might start taking your partner for granted or under appreciating them just a little bit.

 

It doesn’t have to be that way!

 

The moment you realise you are guilty of not sharing a kiss with your partner on your way out the door in the morning, or that you haven’t told your partner something nice in the last 24 hrs is the moment you switch on your PC, flick back to this (book marked!) blog post and start reading for tips of how to reignite the flame!

 

Free and Single’s Top ‘Date Night’ Tips for Couples

 

 1. Organise time to spend with each other

It doesn’t have to be fancy restaurants or swanky mini-break trips (although, don’t get me wrong, those are mighty fine ideas!) but just put aside some time each week where you will spend some one-on-one time together – no TV distractions, no wailing children, no work overtime and not a single break to check emails. Check out our ideas for great dates here.

 

2. Make an effort

Remember how you used to preen before a date, but now you just grab any old hoodie before you head out? I’m not saying rush out and buy a new wardrobe, but think about how good it feels to have your partner stop in their tracks and mouth ‘Wow!’ as they see you. Just sayin’. Want to know what we recommend for that first date feeling? Have a look here.

 

3. Think of something you know they like

You have a head-start on your first date self here – you already know exactly what floats your partner’s metaphorical boat! You can actually organise their most perfect date, simply because you already know what it is. From a picnic by the penguin enclosure at the zoo to bombing it down a mountain on bikes, there is no need to play it safe with the archtypal dinner-and-a-movie combo – unless that is what they really, really love.

 

What are your top tips for keeping the love as your relationship progresses? Do you have more tips on finding ‘The One’ and what happens in the Happily Ever After? Let us know in the comments!

 

Sometimes, the pressure of creating a great first impression creates something I’m going to call ‘Dater’s Block’. You know that you have some great dates in you, but you just cannot actually get them together. You don’t know where to start and then all your creativity abandons you and you are left taking you date to another dinner and a movie evening. Oh, the originality.

 

Free and Single to the rescue! We’ve had a think and come up with five brilliant ideas for first dates right up to date nights when you are already in a relationship. Let us know what you think and tell us any more date ideas you’ve had in the comments!

 

5 Great Date Ideas for our Free and Single Online Daters!

 

  1. Visit a big Zoo and make a day trip of it – you’ll be walking around together, with a constant stream of new conversation starters should you be worried about what to talk about and no-one can fail to be entertained by penguins, intrigued by reptiles and adoring of the monkeys antics.
  2. Why not hire a cool car (I’m thinking drop top if its sunny and monster 4×4 if its been raining) and go for a drive to a good pub for lunch? Feel the wind in your hair and pretend you’re both 40s movie stars or else bang on your wellies and go for a spin on a muddy cross country track.
  3. Try a treasure hunt. Decide on an end location (we like the sound of a boutique coffee bar or maybe an exhibition your date has expressed an interest in) and leave behind clues for your date to work out where they should meet you.
  4. Get down to your local leisure centre (stay with me here, I know it is not the usual location for a date!) and hire a table tennis table. Start a mini tournament between yourself and your date, add in prizes and forfeits and have a good old giggle at each others cross serves.
  5. Join an outdoor tai chi class in a big public park and keep a straight face. Help each other out and take the opportunity to learn something new and chill out. Afterward, you can go for a virtuous lunch at a salad bar or hike over to a doughnut shop and mainline a sugar glazed triple chocolate filled deep fried delight.

 

Have fun on your dates! Let us know how they went in the comments!

A little bit of history to start with…

 

Did you know, a mere 84 years ago women were granted the right to vote in England? This strong push forward into gender equality continued a movement for equality between the sexes.

It allowed women more freedom to decide how they would spend their lives. It allowed them, in fact, the opportunity to marry for love instead of as a business contract between families.

 

Freedom to choose!

 

Women can now use this freedom to browse online dating profiles and get to know people they may never have otherwise met. Free and Single is an internet dating site that provides thousands upon thousands of interesting people who want to get to know each other with an outlet to explore, chat, ‘wink’ and ultimately, get dating.

 

We love to hear about your dates

 

We love to hear about your dates! From the hilarious, to the romantic, knowing how you get on after you have visited our dating website means the world to us. With your feedback (post it up in the comments!), we’re driving Free and Single to be the best it has ever been – finding you more great dates and interesting people than you could shake a stick at!

 

Finding ‘The One’ or starting a relationship

 

Some of our lucky daters even find ‘The One’ while browsing through Free and Single’s profiles. Check out some of our favourite success stories to inspire and ready you for getting your own dating profile sorted.

 

What are you waiting for? Get onto Free and Single and have the time of your life!

 

 

I don’t think there is a single person out there who can sashay forth, confident and glorious to every date they go on.

 

At some point, you will feel nervous. This can be compounded by the need to feel you are not wasting your time and the hope that this could be the start of your very own fairy tale.

 

Here are the Free and Single Top Tips for the first date you go on (when you are secretly on a mission to find ‘The One’.)

 

 

1. Don’t Immediately Write Them Off

 

Take the pressure off immediately being struck by the love bug and search for things in common – look to whether you would hang out with this person as a friend, don’t write them off instantly because you had your head set on tall, dark and handsome because your heart may ultimately prefer blondes!

 

2. Seize the Day!

 

Live in the moment! Having plucked up the courage to actually set up an internet dating profile, ‘wink’, message and organise a date, don’t then spend the whole time fast-forwarding to a possible future scenario or thinking about tomorrow’s to-do list. Stay in the moment and really listen to the other person, get to know them and enjoy yourself.

 

3. Feel Good before you Go

 

Regardless of your principles on vanity, make an effort before your date. First off, it’s nice to know you care enough to want to make a good first impression. Knowing you look great and feel like the best you can be can really help your confidence and help you remain calm during the date. Once you have relaxed, you can concentrate on just being yourself and talking to the other person, instead of fussing about what you are wearing or why your hair frizzed up in the rain.

 

Check out our Ten Things to Remember on a First Date for some more advice!