resolutions

New Shoes? What does that have to do with dating?

We all start to get that back-to-school feeling around about now, thanks to years spent schlepping around the shoe shops with our mum’s trying to find a pair that fit properly. Personally, it was the hours spent staring at all the different pencil case options that come back to haunt me.

 

If you are a parent yourself, I’m sure you know this feeling all too well at the moment. Even if you’re not buying up school uniform for troublesome tots right now, its worth harking back to that new year, new you feeling now, instead of waiting four months to make a change on the 31st of January. Apart from anything else, we all know it is harder to keep resolutions when it is cold and raining and for the majority of us (I’m watching you, Oz!) that is what January heralds. So, lets embrace the start of the new school year as a time of reinvention and put our dating good intentions to good use now instead of later.

 

New Season Dating Resolutions to Stick to

1. Unpack and wash your baggage. Okay, I admit this sounds weird, but hear me out; we all come with a past, it’s what makes us who we are. The key is to accept your past, good or bad and move on. Let it go, stop rehashing it and get ready to make a future. Either get a therapist, a friend or write a private letter outlining all your feelings about the past. Let it all out, sort through it and learn to forgive and forget. You don’t want to drag all this old stuff into your new, shiny, beautiful future relationship, do you?

 

2. Say yes. To everything. Really, unless you are about to burn out from all the social interaction (or go bankrupt), then saying yes is guaranteed to get you places you wouldn’t usually go, meeting new people and experiencing different things. This makes you more likely to meet someone you’ll actually be interested in and well as more interesting when you do go out. Being able to talk about your latest adventure can be a godsend if you’re feeling nervous before your first date.

 

3. Make time for ‘Me’ time. It isn’t selfish, it is necessary, stop making excuses. Find a time when everyone else who usually makes demands on you can be otherwise occupied and claim it for you own. Make it a routine, so everyone knows not to bother you between 8pm – 9pm on a Wednesday evening. Take that time to put effort into you – bathe, shave, get your hair done, paint your nails, sort out a date outfit you feel comfy in, whatever makes you feel good.

 

4. Be open to opportunity. If you’re on the bus and a cute girl looks you up and down, smile back. If you’re buying your morning coffee and the guy behind you orders the same, strike up a conversation. It is all practice, chatting to people, making new friends and acquaintances – and you never know, that guy behind you in line to the train ticket machine? You might not get a spark with him, but his tennis partner might be searching for a women just like you.

 

5. Set aside time to look at Free and Single. Revamp your profile to include all your new experiences, interests and hobbies. Keep your picture updated to reflect your new hair cut or pink lipstick obsession. Routinely give yourself 30 minutes or more to browse your messages, reply, check over new profiles and chat to new people. Online dating gives you a pool of people all looking for the same thing, without having to winnow them out in a bar. However, it isn’t effortless, you still have to be involved in order to get results.

 

Go forth and keep your resolutions, add a few of your own, make some positive changes for you and watch the dates come rolling in!

Let us know how you get on in the comments 🙂

What are your internet dating resolutions to find a partner before Christmas?

Looking forward to 2013 inevitably encourages us to look back over the last year and put our actions (or lack of) into sharp perspective. ‘What ifs?’, ‘Why didn’t I’s?’ and ‘I should have’s’ litter our thoughts.

Sure, it is easy enough to say we’ll do it all differently in 2013 – that this is the year we will work-out instead of sitting on the couch watching Homeland, this is the time for us to buy a house, go on dazzling holidays, impress the boss, find a love…

How about then, instead of just saying we will do these things, instead of just meaning to but never quite getting round to doing them, how about we try not to force grand outcomes but to work towards them as part of our everyday lives?

Looking for Love

We all look for love, one way or another. The search for someone to support us, cherish us, laugh with us and adore us is one that many people embark on every year. Often, as the result of a resolution not to be the only single one at a friend’s wedding or to be able to return home on a blustery, cold winter day to the waiting arms of someone who actually cares, instead of just re-runs of Friends.

However, these things tend not to just happen. In order for them to occur, you have to go out into the world instead of hiding away and you have to live your life and embrace opportunities. Otherwise, you will never move beyond your immediate circle of friends and family and there is no-one you want to date there (unless there is, in which case, NYE is the time to admit it. Then if all goes badly you can brush it off as end-of-year sentimentality and move on accordingly).

So make a promise to yourself this coming New Year. Instead of making a resolution you know you won’t keep past February, plan a goal that you want to see happen. Then plan lots of small steps on how you plan to make it happen. Schedule the step sin your diary and tick them off, one by one as you achieve them. Don’t be scared to give yourself a treat when you do either – bribery is an excellent way of convincing yourself to do something scary.

To achieve a goal of meeting someone special, here are some steps I’m a fan of;

  • Getting a new, flattering haircut and tips from the stylist on how to do it myself.
  • Planning a new experience once a month with friends – a day at a rifle range, a go-ape adventure, a wine-tasting tour, an evening in watching a foreign indie movie…
  • Smiling at people when I pass them in the street.
  • Popping to the pub once a week and spending some time at the bar talking to people. (Try a compliment or ask for a recommendation as an opening gambit).
  • Asking friends if they know anyone they think I might like and getting them to set us up.

 

Have a great New Year’s Eve and we’ll see you back for more online dating tips and advice in 2013!

 

New Year

Resolutions. We’ve all made them, we’ve all broken them. That is all in the past now though and I need you to be looking at the present, and the future. 2013. This is your year to shine.

 

New You

There is no need to give yourself a mile-long list of things you need to change about yourself in order to make the best of the year and reach your full potential. Think small – I’m talking small, manageable changes. Slight alterations in your already established habits that could really make a difference? Are you one of the thousands who are promising themselves that 2013 is the year they will get fit? Maybe that you are aiming for a promotion at work?

 

Well, don’t just sit there! Having a goal is all very well, but without a plan to achieve your aim your resolution is going to be over and done with by the 3rd January.

If you are trying to get fit, don’t buy a gym membership and congratulate yourself on your fitness forethought.

  • Go for a walk every day for a week before you even think about laying down your plastic.
  • Try walking instead of taking the car to the shops.
  • Take the stairs during the department store sales instead of the elevator.
  • Write up a program of treats you get every time you make one of your goals – lost a pound? Take an hour off chores to watch a film. Finally managed to run 1 mile? Buy yourself some proper trainers to encourage you continuing.
If you are looking to get promoted, don’t rest on your laurels from last year’s successes.
  • Put forth a plan on how you will accomplish your promotion.
  • Arrange a review with your manager to discuss what you can do to be eligible for promotion.
  • Schedule in some extra time to devote to developing your ideas or writing reports to show willing.
  • Be available to help out and be there with ideas when they are needed.
Think about the end goal, but also put a plan in place to help you get there. For example, if your resolution is to meet someone to form a relationship, or just to get out dating more, it will never happen unless you take the first step and try to make it happen. Be more open to opportunities, ask your friends to help set you up, join an online dating website, say ‘yes’ to people you wouldn’t usually date and be willing to experience new things in your search.

New Dates

If you are looking for new dates in 2013, or just on the hunt for a special relationship don’t treat the aim as the be all and end all. After all, dating and finding your partner in life should be enjoyable!

Have a think about what you want to gain from dating – casual flings, steady dating or a proper relationship – maybe even marriage? Once you know what you are looking to find, it will be easier to spot and you are more likely to be successful.

We at Free and Single recommend reading over some of our articles on getting started online dating to help you out in the beginning;