sex

What if there was a way to work out if they like you – really like you – that was fail safe?

 

Impossible, you say. No-one can ever know for sure without taking the plunge and asking. However, there is a way to get a strong idea of your crushes’ preference – do they see you as a friend or something more?

 

How do you work this out?

 

Body language. The mystical sixth sense that can help you decipher the feelings of that attractive man across the bar.

 

How does one go about reading this hidden language?

 

  • Posture if a good giveaway. Signs of nervousness, like fidgeting, swinging arms, moving from foot to foot – these all suggest they are anxious in your presence. If they make an effort to look confident though, by straightening up, pulling their shoulders back and standing tall, they are probably trying their best to look impressive for your benefit.
  • Eye contact – I’m not talking full-on, aggressive stare here, more excited flicking, longer than usual glances, lingering looks…Especially take note if you see the eyebrows raise a little when they first look at you and their eyes flick to look at your lips.
  • If she is fiddling with her hair or lipstick , or if he is adjusting his tie and smoothing or messing up his hair then they are trying to attract attention, keep your eyes on them and draw your gaze. A full head of hair shows vitality, touching the lips makes you think about kissing and adjusting clothing can be a status thing.
  • Touching is an obvious tell. If she is touching your forearm or your hand when she laughs, or if he is guiding you round the room with his hand in the small of your back, chances are they are definitely interested.
  • Lending a jacket or jumper is a guy’s way of marking his territory in a crowded bar. It’s also a protective gesture and a self-motivated one – when the jacket comes back it’s going to smell like you.
  • Smiling is a great tell – but check if it is a proper smile that reaches all the way to the eyes and across the face. They obviously feel good about being in your company if they are beaming a smile at you.
  • Nodding along with what you’re saying, especially if the nods are happening in rhythm with what you’re saying is showing interest and a desire for you to continue talking.

 

Relationships. At the end of the day, if you’re reading this blog, visiting Free and Single and browsing dating profiles, it is for a purpose. You’re not here for kicks, you’re on the hunt for a potential life partner.

 

Now, first, before we go any further; I beg you, have you thought this through? When you picture a ‘relationship’ are you seeing the ups, the downs, the good times and the arguments? Or are you rosily contemplating a life filled with chocolates, red roses and sunsets?

 

Relationships take work. Not back-breaking, miserable Monday-morning feeling work (if it feels like that, it might be time to call it a day). But work nonetheless. There will be days when, say, you’re hungover and want to nap, but your other half is sick and needs you to go out and get cough medicine. There will be times when you really want to go shopping, but it’s the only day your partner’s parents are in town for a visit. There will be points where you question why you are together at all.

 

However, there should also be some serious ‘ups’! Surprise bouquets and being whisked off to the theatre, voluntarily skipping Saturday’s game to accompany you to your best friend’s wedding. These good moments make the work and the compromises easier, make them worth it. At the end of the day, you know you have someone who will support you, look after you and laugh at your jokes.

 

Here are some tips for working that relationship:

 

  1. Never go to bed angry. Ever. No matter how annoyed you are, no matter how tired. Calmly, without shouting, explain that you’re hurt, you’re not happy with the situation, but that you really need to sleep right now or you’ll mess up your big meeting tomorrow. Schedule some time to talk about the issue as soon as possible the next day. Move the venue for the discussion to neutral territory, somewhere public where you can’t shout at each other. Then give them a hug and a kiss and go to bed. The thinking space alone should help resolve the issue the next day.
  2. Now you’re in a couple, you have to think about what the other person would like. If you’re not into that and you don’t understand the word ‘compromise’ then you are not ready to handle a relationship.
  3. Keep the surprise, the suspense and the excitement. Thoughtful gestures, little gifts, compliments, asking for details about their day – all small acts that add up to keep the love burning.
  4. Listen to each other. One of the all-time most important tips for anyone, in any situation, be it dating, friends or relationships. From listening comes true intimacy, true connection and lasting love. You will learn about the other person, you will learn about yourself and you will form a bond that transcends the ordinary.
  5. Keep lines of communication open. Your life is no longer just about you, now you’re sharing it with someone else. You don’t have to report your every move to each other, but if you’ve agreed to meet up and you’re late, show a little common courtesy and phone to tell them. Even if you feel restricted by the interest your other half shows in your whereabouts, it could simply be that they are worried about you. When you’re late, instead of rationally explaining it away as traffic difficulties, they are picturing you mugged and bleeding in an alleyway.

 

I interviewed a group of ten guys for this dating blog post, asking them what turned them off when dating a new women, what got them hot under the collar and what advice they would give to any lovely ladies looking to seal the deal with them on a dating website.

 

I found out a whole bunch of tips that guys are willing to share with the female species in order to better understand them and achieve greater dates. See, men want love too!

 

1) Guys are taught that they can get away with anything so long as they project confidence. Ever fallen for the charming dude with an arrogance issue over the man hiding in the corner looking scared?

Exactly.

Take a tip from the guys and pretend confidence when you don’t feel it for real.

 

2) Men can be super fragile. They are always told they have to be the strong one, the macho one, the one who can re-wire a plug. Sometimes they don’t want that responsibility on their shoulders.

Never mock a man about his sexuality – it’s rude, its crude and once you’ve bruised that ego he is not going to be feeling especially fond of you.

 

3) Dudes are more black and white than women. Think; ‘Man see, man want.’ If a man likes you, he will let you know. It harks back to all those cavemen territorial feelings. He’ll do whatever is necessary to make you like him back.

If he isn’t putting the effort in, or trying to impress you, then he is unlikely to be seeing you as a long term relationship.

 

4) Guys will never understand women. They can’t get into the mindset, they won’t see the problem from the same point of view and they certainly don’t have a chance of getting what the issue is if you scream or blank them.

When a man is confused about how you are feeling, or trying to make amends for something, communicate rationally enough that he can begin to see what is happening in your head.

 

5) No-one likes being lied to. Men (and women) appreciate honesty in their dating life. There is no hope of building a trusting relationship if your ‘sports-mad’ online date shows up for your first meeting and point-blank refuses to hang out in a sports bar, ‘cos of, you know – all the sports.

Stay truthful. Its tempting to exaggerate or embellish your life and interests, but at the end of the day, do you really want to wast time dating someone who likes your dating profile more than the real you?

Stuck for ideas for dates to do as Spring begins?

Here’s our Free and Single online dating guide to how to have a great time with your date, whether its a first meeting or the start of something special!

 

1) Get together and head to a craft shop to pick up supplies – get stickers, paints, glue, jewels, felt – and then set up shop at a table and decorate Easter Eggs together.

2) Wait for a sunny day and then head to the garden center! Grab some seeds or a pot plant you want to nurture and then plant something together.

3) Head to a cafe with pavement space and order brunch, then enjoy some downtime sans technology and just chat and people watch together.

4) Go to a local tourist attraction you have never visited before despite it being on your doorstep and have fun experiencing something new with your date.

5) Head to the beach and paint little hearts on random pebbles so other people can find them later. Spread the love!

 

You know that feeling you get when you first meet someone and there is an undefinable spark?

Your stomach is filled with butterflies, you can’t help smiling when you think of them and people keep asking you what’s going on because you are ignoring your coffee fix?

 

Well, that’s not love folks, that’s infatuation.

A crush. Sexual attraction. It’s a good thing because it shows there is something there to build on, to work with. However, many couples find that as the infatuation fades along with the first few misunderstandings or arguments, the relationship starts to break down.

 

For some lucky couples though, they make it past this beginning phase.

They work out their ‘teething’ issues and it is this process of supporting each other and working together that starts to build real emotions into their chemistry.  Trust is built and the relationship blossoms into love. Here are four signs that you may be in love;

 

1) Seeing them smile or laugh lifts your mood and you would do anything to make them happy.

 

2) You automatically try and share their experiences and stresses, to lighten the load.

 

3) You want to forgive them straight after you’ve cooled off from an argument because you can’t bear being grumpy with them.

 

4) You project them into sharing your future with you, unable to picture a moment without them there to support you.

 

Don’t worry if you don’t think you’re experiencing any of these signs.

All relationships are different and these feelings are all part and parcel of an emotionally mature relationship. You have this to look forward to, possibly with one of your Free and Single dates!

 

Don’t fret if you’re not there yet, so long as both halves of the relationship are feeling happy you should live in the moment and enjoy the experience.