1. Explore your local area and soak up some sunshine!

Take your date for a romantic walk in the sun

USA – It’s Miami Romance Month, so head over to the Most Romantic Places listing and find somewhere that suits your date.

 

OZ – Go out for a brunch to remember in the exciting atmosphere of Fremantle, Perth.

 

UK – Head to Leeds for the Food Festival at the beginning of the month and chow down on some tasty nosh!

 

2. Check out an indoors attraction and feel cultural (maybe)

Take your internet date to a cafe to play board games together

USA – Take your date to this new Byzantine exhibition in Houston, for some history and cake afterwards.

 

OZ – Check out Hobart’s Salamanca Centre for some buzzing arts, markets, crafts and cafes.

 

UK – Take your date to this intimate theatre in Exeter and enjoy new plays before anyone else.

 

3. Whisk them away on a surprise holiday!

Cycling internet dating couple on holiday

USA – Zip over to Mexico with your beloved for a funky break at an all-inclusive holiday resort and spa!

 

OZ – Fly to New Zealand for a mini adventure and go whale watching, winery touring and chill out together under the stars of glow worms!

 

UK – Pop over to France on a ferry and enjoy a great day out exploring markets, eating delicious foods and trying out the original language of love.


When you are a busy professional it can be hard to find the energy and the time to start dating and pursuing a relationship. When you work long hours, take work home with you or specialise in a field that involves lots of extra networking or travel it can feel like an impossible task to begin to date.

 

However, it is also at these points in your life – travelling to yet another conference in a suburban hotel, burning the midnight oil to finish a deposition to your satisfaction, or pulling the late shift and working nights – that make us realise something:

 

We’re lonely.

 

You can fill life with a career and with social calls on friends and family, but it is a rare person indeed who doesn’t wish for a little more than that. So here is our quick check guide to getting you started in the world of dating for professionals. Let us know in the comments if you found it helpful!

 

1.  Sign up to Free and Single Professional in order to find like-minded people who will understand your work commitments and your drive.

 

2.  In this age of technology, being in a separate country is no longer an excuse not to see each other. Up the ante on a boring hotel evening by using Skype or Google Hangout to chat to each other while eating dinner or watching a movie.

 

3.  Make time for each other by agreeing a date in advance and booking it into your schedules like a meeting. Give each other an ‘emergency work situation’ card that you can each use once should something come up at work just before your date – but you can only use it once.

 

4.  Try dating at different times of the day – it’s nice to do traditional dinner dates, but mix it up by meeting for breakfast instead. You could take your full lunch break to go to the park or a bistro. Maybe your office winds down between 3pm and 5pm – pop out to take a stroll together or grab milkshakes before heading back to work.

 

5.  Try calling them as you commute into work, or if that’s not feasible, write a letter or email during your downtime and send it to them. The key is managing your professional working life and your dating life so that you get enjoyment from both.

 

In case you’re wondering about starting something in your workplace, well, you should probably read our take on Office Romances first.

 

At the end of the day, there is always a little bit of time somewhere that you can squeeze a sympathetic person into and get to know them. You just have to let them know that you’ll make the effort, even after a long day at work. Here’s to dating as a professional!

We all have moments, as singletons, where we think; ‘What’s the point?’

 

Why are we expending all this energy and money and time on trying to find a relationship?

It’s at this point that you have to take a step back from the dating scene to re-evaluate what it is you want, are looking for and need from a future partner.

 

After all, sometimes you can just get caught up in the dating whirlwind and forget what it is that you’re actually there for. When dating stops being fun and starts being a chore, you know you have to take a break and rediscover yourself. After all, if that certain someone special were to walk through the door tomorrow, would you want them to see the frazzled, disillusioned, down-and-out you, or the refreshed and fabulous, ready-to-fall-in-love you?

 

Clearly, you want to be at your best when the big moment comes.

 

Sometimes, the most important relationship in your life should be how you treat yourself. Take some personal time to catch up with friends and family and just get out and about exploring your world as yourself, without any ulterior motive of attracting a significant other.

 

Here are some ideas for rediscovering yourself and refreshing your mind before diving back into the dating pool.

 

1) Take joy in being completely able to do whatever you like. Come Saturday morning, you don’t have to wait around while your other half tries on clothes in the mall, or cheers the local footie club to victory. You have the freedom to do absolutely anything that takes your fancy without having to check in with another person first.

 

2) Spend a bit of cash on yourself. Without having to report your spending habits to another, you can splurge on that new widescreen TV or pair of designer shoes without worrying about hiding the box in the wardrobe.

 

3) Take some time to design an interior that really appeals to you and reflects your personality. You can re-do the space so it suits what you now use it for, content in the knowledge that it can be completely your taste and not a mish-mash of styles.

 

4) Take joy in the lack of damp towels spread over the floor of a morning, or the constant cry of ‘Put the loo seat down!’ Maybe your own personal hell is arriving in the bedroom to find clothes scattered everywhere from that morning’s game of ‘I have nothing to wear!’ At this moment, your space is your space and the annoying habits of another half a distant memory.

 

5) Cook whatever you want to eat, or go out to any restaurant you fancy. You don’t have to constrain your mealtimes to accommodate someone else’s preferences, weird diets or finicky eating habits. Revel in the pleasure of eating whatever you please, even if that is cheese and nutella sandwiches – hey, there is no-one to judge you!

 

I interviewed a group of ten guys for this dating blog post, asking them what turned them off when dating a new women, what got them hot under the collar and what advice they would give to any lovely ladies looking to seal the deal with them on a dating website.

 

I found out a whole bunch of tips that guys are willing to share with the female species in order to better understand them and achieve greater dates. See, men want love too!

 

1) Guys are taught that they can get away with anything so long as they project confidence. Ever fallen for the charming dude with an arrogance issue over the man hiding in the corner looking scared?

Exactly.

Take a tip from the guys and pretend confidence when you don’t feel it for real.

 

2) Men can be super fragile. They are always told they have to be the strong one, the macho one, the one who can re-wire a plug. Sometimes they don’t want that responsibility on their shoulders.

Never mock a man about his sexuality – it’s rude, its crude and once you’ve bruised that ego he is not going to be feeling especially fond of you.

 

3) Dudes are more black and white than women. Think; ‘Man see, man want.’ If a man likes you, he will let you know. It harks back to all those cavemen territorial feelings. He’ll do whatever is necessary to make you like him back.

If he isn’t putting the effort in, or trying to impress you, then he is unlikely to be seeing you as a long term relationship.

 

4) Guys will never understand women. They can’t get into the mindset, they won’t see the problem from the same point of view and they certainly don’t have a chance of getting what the issue is if you scream or blank them.

When a man is confused about how you are feeling, or trying to make amends for something, communicate rationally enough that he can begin to see what is happening in your head.

 

5) No-one likes being lied to. Men (and women) appreciate honesty in their dating life. There is no hope of building a trusting relationship if your ‘sports-mad’ online date shows up for your first meeting and point-blank refuses to hang out in a sports bar, ‘cos of, you know – all the sports.

Stay truthful. Its tempting to exaggerate or embellish your life and interests, but at the end of the day, do you really want to wast time dating someone who likes your dating profile more than the real you?

1. Discuss what holidays mean to each of you – does one of you prefer action and adventure while the other one just wants to chill in the spa?

 

2. Make compromises – agree to do a bit of what makes each other happy before judging. So the yoga bunny could try out quad biking one morning while the action man can agree to trial a downward dog sunrise session the day after.

 

3. Set a budget and stick to it. These days its not expected for the man to pay for everything, but everyone still has different rules in their minds of who should pay for what. Discuss money before you go and make sure you know who is paying for what so you don’t end up with any nasty surprises.

 

4. Prioritise each other. At the end of the day, you are not single anymore and while it is fine to take time apart to pursue different aspects of your holiday, try and meet-up again in the evenings for dinner and a drink, or for a walk at lunchtime, or a snuggle and a lie-in in the morning. This is a couple holiday.

 

5. Plan, plan, plan. Not to destroy spontaneity, but if one of you is a tad more punctual than the other, keep that in mind. When you are waiting for your other half to turn up for a flight and the departure gates are starting to close, that can put stress on even the most solid of relationships. Not a good way to start the holiday.

 

6. Enjoy yourselves! After all, you are on holiday! Let the freedom of not having to wake up early for work, suffer through a long commute, deal with the boss, meet with clients, eat the same bad sandwich from the corner store at lunchtime – revitalise you!

 

7. Try new things.Holiday’s are the time to get experimental, especially if you can be nervous about new experiences at home. Maybe taste the local cusine instead of plumping for chips, check out the local sights instead of just chilling by the pool and buy a souvenir together to remind you of your first holiday.

 

8. If you are a ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’ sort of person, simplify your holiday morning routine by deciding on an outfit while you are still at home and packing it in its entirety. Crisis averted and no-one has to stand around wasting precious holiday time because of a sartorial melt-down!

 

9. Both keep your own travel documents and euros on your person, but make sure you have copies of your partners documents too – that way if one on you looses your stuff, you have a back-up plan already in place to catch you and keep things from getting too stessfull.

 

10. Relax! This is some quality alone time to be together with your honey, to enjoy being with them in a new place and to experience what concentrated time alone means for your relationship. Embrace the opportunity and have a great time.

1. Get Outside

 

Brogdale, UK – Pop to this English version of the famous Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival.

 

Boston, USA– Head into the great outdoors on one of these fantastic bike ride routes.

 

Sydney, OZ – Pack a picnic and get yourselves to the Taronga Zoo for a safari fun day.

 

2. Get Cultural

 

Manchester, UK– Check out the new collections at the Whitworth Art Gallery.

 

San Francisco,USA– Head to the Yuerba Beuna Gardens for some live music.

 

Canberra, OZ – Go to the Glass Works to see professional artists at work and maybe even commission something yourself.

 

3. Get Munching

 

London, UK– Go to restaurant of the moment, The Clove Club for a spectacular dinner together.

 

New York, USA – Get your glad rags on to go to the glamorous rooftop Ava Lounge above the city.

 

Melbourne, OZ – Check out the Led Zeppelin playing surrounds of the Parlour Diner and share a mega milkshake for two.

 

Deciding to date again

 

Having been single for a while, it can be terrifying to think about putting yourself back onto the dating market. You tell yourself times have changed, people might do things differently and you’ve changed too – you’ve a child or children, your body is different, your life perspective and priorities have changed dramatically since the last time you pulled on you little black dress and headed out on the town.

 

However, despite the scary thought of going back to dating, and this time as a single parent with baggage, know that it is healthy to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Getting stuck in a routine will have helped you and your kids achieve a sense of normalcy during the period of getting used to being a single parent, but that’s not a lesson you want ingrained in your kids psyche. They need to know that in order to achieve something great, risks have to be taken.

 

Getting a sitter while you put yourself back out there

 

First things first: having made the decision that you are ready and comfortable with heading back out into the dating pool, you need to make sure that your children are cared for in your absence.

Dating for single parents

Ask friends and family members if they would be amenable to looking after the kids for an evening a week to give you time to go out. Not only might they be able to help get you a few starter dates, but they’ll be happy to look after your sprogs at least once. Once you know your kids are being cared for, you can relax and dedicate a little time to yourself. Sign up to Free and Single Parent and you’ll instantly have thousands of eligible singles who understand the restrictions and priorities of parenthood at your fingertips. Arrange a few dates and start getting excited!

 

Meeting a prospective suitor for the first time

 

Remember: children are impressionable. Keep your dating life private and for you only. It is unlikely that you will meet your ideal suitor immediately, so don’t be discouraged, but keep enjoying dating. Once you do meet someone special, stick to dates for just the two of you for a while until you can be sure that it is a relationship. Only then, once you are both comfortable enough with each other, should you introduce your date to your kids.

 

If your new relationship has children on the other side as well, consider meeting your partner’s kids first and then after a few meetings, go ahead and introduce both sets of kids to one another.

 

Incorporating two families together

 

This is never going to be easy. You all have memories of how life used to be before you were single, when you were single and projections of how the future ought to go. You have to try and relax and be open and communicative with everyone. Each person involved, however minor, will experience repercussions from the uniting of two different families. New relations will be gained, new friends, even new homes, schools and outlooks on life. It will be hard, but if you are prepared to deal with whatever situations may arise and if you have the patience to ride out the tough times, you and your family are in for a treat.

 

 

I’m holding an impromptu survey – right here, right now. Hands up who meets more people when you leave the house having made an effort with your appearance vs. leaving the house to grab some milk or walk the dog with zero effort?

 

I’m intrigued to discover if this is a phenomenon that occurs only to me. If I select a nice outfit, slick on some make-up, do something with my hair – all confidence boosting manouvres that should help make me more attractive to the opposite sex – then I will see no-one I know, meet no-one new and probably sigh over the wasted effort when I return home.

 

 

However, if I slink out the doors at 10am, in jeans and a coat thrown over my hoodie, not a scrap of make-up to be seen and hair that hasn’t been introduced to a brush in over 24 hours, hoping against hope that I won’t run into anyone I know while I pop out to get some fresh milk I will, inevitably run into my neighbour, the postman, that person I vaguely know from down the street and the hottest member of the opposite sex for a ten mile radius.

 

How does this happen? What bizarre cosmic force is at work to ensure that I have to do most of my social nods and hello’s from the position of ‘person-who-clearly-doesn’t care’? Is this the secret trick to attracting attention?

 

 

I want to know whether this runs true for anyone else. I have been given more phone numbers and flirty looks after a bad nights sleep – when I have huge circles under my eyes and straggly hair and am just out to get a fruit smoothie in the hope it will banish my headache – than any time when I have actually been prepared and willing to engage in intelligent conversation with other people. Does this happen to you?

 

Anyway, the reason I bring my plight to your attention, other than to discover whether it is an affliction that affects myself alone, is to draw your attention to the wonder of online dating. You can channel all that pajama’ed wit and charisma into chatty messages, saucy winks and happy date-hunting while clad in yesterday’s gardening clothes and no-one will ever know. They’ll see your pictures, showing you in a variety of guises. Try for a natural (in good light), a glammed up version of yourself having a good time and a properly posed picture taken somewhere you love (so you radiate happiness).

 

 

Those pictures between them will attract all sort of different people to look at your online dating profile. There, they can discover more about you, suss whether your interests mesh in any way and choose to find out more. That’s when the PJ Effect will kick in – they will message you and you can switch on your clearly irresistible two-day-old hair charm. After being on fine flirting form, you’ll have easily winnowed out potential dates from those you just don’t have a rapport with.

 

Then comes the good stuff – getting ready for the first date. Just don’t maintain the day-old socks styling for that. You’ve already broken the ice online with your glittering PJ Effect persona,  so feel free to now wow them with your lovely looks and some more nervous chatter. If they are the right person for you, you’ll switch into comfortable mode soon enough, even if you are wearing lipstick.

 

You know what? Losing love, breaking off a relationship, splitting up – it sucks. Big time. Not only do you lose that person in your life, but you lose a little bit of yourself. However brief the time you spent together was, it still will have affected you and changed you, helped to shape the type of person you are now.

 

There are a few steps the professionals will ramble on about, citing ‘degree of loss’ and ‘getting past it’. We at Free and Single agree with them, to an extent. In the face of it though, getting over a break up is hard, however you try and minimise the pain with steps. Still, when you are sat alone, wondering what happened and trying to figure out a way to blame yourself, it can seriously help to have a few well-meaning goals to work towards, to help you out of the bubble of self-pity.

 

So here are the Free and Single steps to surviving a break-up and getting back out into the world.

 

1. Mourn it

Ok, so first you have to put some time aside to simply feel the emotions. You can try and repress them, but they’ll just come bubbling to the surface when you least expect it – usually in public, like in a new job interview or as you pull into your train station. Take a few days to just wallow. Curl up in bed, don’t change your PJs, eat a steady diet of ice cream, you know, whatever helps. Just feel it.

 

2. Re-invest in yourself

Once the sobbing is over, take a shower and clean up your space. No-one is going to feel better surrounded by three days worth of empty takeout boxes. Now, take a moment to list all the things you would like to be. Cut out pictures or inspirational words. Join Pinterest. Once you have an image in your head, start moving towards it. Always wanted to see if blondes have more fun? Head to the salon. All that misery pizza causing a few extra pounds? Pop along to the park for a run. Enjoy some proper me-time and get yourself back on top form.

 

3. Join / start something new

Now you’re ready to experience something new, but your emotions are still a little fragile to dive straight back into dating territory. Now is the time to pick up an evening class or new hobby. It will fill the time you used to spend together, so you won’t be sat at home thinking about what you used to do when you were in a relationship and it will give you something exciting to think about and focus on. Always felt arty? Try a life drawing class. Confused about golf? Check out a club open day and some lessons. Like to go fast? Join a racing track.

 

4. Be open to socialising

Now that you have semi-recovered, you need to do the final and hardest thing: get back out into the world, for real. You’re looking great, you have a fabulous new hobby to talk about and you have a bunch of friends who would love to see you smiling again. So head out for dinner with the girls, or pop to the pub with your mates. No pressure to go looking for love, you are just readjusting to a world without your relationship. Enjoy it. Have a few beers, or buy those shoes, knowing you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone when you get home.

 

5. Try dating again

Once you feel whole again, let your friends know. They can set you up with people for a no-pressure reintroduction to dating. Log onto Free and Single and start browsing profiles. You never know who you might meet. Keep going to your evening class or hobby, or gym, or local park and be open to smiling and saying hi to other people you come across. Feel good about yourself, and the rest will follow.

 

Good luck!

Go to an exhibition to show off your cultural cahonies

In the UK? Try visiting London for the Life and Death in Pompeii and Herculaneum exhibit, where you’ll leave with a real sense that life is precious.

In Oz? Pop to Melbourne to sample some of the city’s renowned art and see One Hundred and Twenty Seconds crowdfunding art project in Federation Square, teaching you to make the most of every moment.

In the USA? Why not head over to see Upstream Colour, a new film released in early April and enjoy a giggle together in the back of the cinema as the baffling story plays out in front of your eyes.

 

Head to a sporting event together

In the UK? Head to the FINA Diving World Series in Edinburgh to catch a glimpse of some of the world’s best high divers doing what they do, all while wearing nothing more than teeny tiny pants.

In Australia? Get yourselves to Canberra to support the Australian Running Festival and maybe even spark off some inspiration to attempt a marathon yourselves.

In the USA? Head to Georgia for the Golf Masters Tournament. Take a picnic and enjoy a stroll around the grounds watching the best golfers in the world make their moves.

 

Check out a food festival to share new tastes with each other

In the UK? Visit the Lancashire Food Festival and let your taste buds be tempted by the huge array of delicacies on offer. Don’t forget to share, this is no place for chip-watching.

In Oz? Check out the Kangaroo Island Seafood Festival and gobble platefuls of freshly caught fish, as well as enjoying seaside BBQs and campfire cooking.

In America? Find a festival dedicated to everyone’s favorite breakfast item and go to BaconFest, in Chicago to sample bacon from producers all over the country.

 

Have a great date, wherever you are and let us know in the comments whether you have any tips for date ideas to do in May!