But isn’t is better to be wild and unshackled with your love life? Don’t settle for the norm, and heed our advice for surprise on a first date, getting his or her chest fluttering with what’s to come…

1. Do a ‘people snapping’ exercise

Maybe try this at least midway through the date, so you’ve gotten to know each other as rational, sane individuals. Then, when you’re getting along, suggest that you play an upgrade of the ‘people watching’ sport… This time, however, it involves a smartphone and plenty of sneakiness.

Like two urban ninjas, dot around a crowd, taking turns to photograph people you think are interesting, bonkers or have a story to share. The first of you to bottle out is the loser. It’s a great test for how willing you are to let reservations slide in one another’s company; furthermore, it’s (kinda, sorta) exercise, which is always a good dating boon!

2. Claim a fake restaurant booking

With some finely-tuned charm, you can pretend that you’ve gone for the worst date location in history, before unveiling your real choice just a little further down the road.

Say to the dater that you’ve booked a place at “this high class eatery, somewhere in town, you’ll really like it!”. The locale, as it happens, could be a greasy spoon café, or a pub chain. Ignore your date’s concerned face as you walk through the door – as you’re sitting down, and pretending to admire the menu, act like you’ve dropped something. “Oh, what’s this…” And emerge with two theatre tickets in hand, along with a booking for a fine restaurant somewhere nearby.

3. Prepare a list of hypothetical questions

Obviously, let your brain wander to wherever it wants to go, in the moment, for this sort of dialogue. It’s actually one of the best ways to first message someone online, in addition to the date itself. Hypothetically, your partner can show what they’re made of, by answering questions they’ve never even thought of before…

Try and get a nice split between the banal and bizarre. So for instance, “Would you rather go to a party with Ernest Hemingway, or a football match with Brad Pitt?” could be trailed by “What would be the last cheese on earth you’d ever eat?” Query by query, you’ll laugh, connect, and discover what you’re into. If he\she thinks you’re insane, then all the better for it. Eventually, the real question can be launched: “Do you want to do this again sometime?”

A first date, by all accounts, can be nerve-jangling – that’s why it’s useful to surprise yourself, as much as the dater, with behaviour that’ll keep the mood bright and exhilarating. Sign up for FreeAndSingle, and read our guide to a-typical dating messages before you put your ‘quirky’ hat on… It has to fit first, wouldn’t you agree?

The post Lovestruck: 3 Ways To Be Unexpected On A First Date appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

Here are a few tips on how to spice up your message game and provoke a higher number of responses from other online daters.

Avoid the one-word bore stories

“Hey” and “Hi” are warm, friendly greetings in person, but in the digital world, they’ve quickly become associated with tedium and laziness. The one-word bore story rarely elicits a positive response from a match, but online daters continue to write it anyway – trapped by fear of saying something that makes them look foolish.

But playing it safe doesn’t get you dates. If you want to start a meaningful back and forth, you’re best off dumping the bog-standard salutations and stepping outside your comfort zone. Follow up your greeting with a question, say a bit more about yourself, or maybe even open with a joke.

Prove you’ve actually checked out their profile

Some online daters take the one-size-fits-all approach to messaging and fire over the same write-up to every single person. Millions of people use online dating platforms now, and questions like “How are you?” or “How’s your weekend been?” are ten a penny and all too familiar.

If you want to cut through the noise, prove to your potential match that you’ve actually taken the time to read their profile. For example, if they’ve written about starting a new job, you could ask them how they’re finding it so far and whether they’re enjoying the new career move.

Share common ground

When you’re trying to whip up a conversation with somebody on a dating site, there’re few better ways to encourage a response than by showing them you share some common ground.

If you eye a profile adorned in rock music references, for example, you could immediately address these in your first message – showing your mutual love for this genre and suggesting there could be an instant connection. If their profile pictures are populated by dogs, you could tell them a bit about your pet canine.

Ask for recommendations

We all like to feel like experts from time to time. That’s just the human way. If someone has “passionate festival go-er” or “complete bookworm” listed on their online dating profile, you can jumpstart a conversation by asking them for recommendations: “What’s the best festival you’ve been to? Looking for a good one to visit this summer!” or “Need a new book to read! Can you recommend a good one?”.

This will give them a big incentive to respond and give them the chance to prove they’re in the know about a particular subject. Whether you agree with their recommendation or not, it’s guaranteed to give you plenty to talk about!

Now you know how to mix messages up a bit, you’ll be able to give yourself the best possible chance of getting a great convo started and ultimately securing a date. Try out your new message technique on FreeAndSingle today. You can sign up right now for no charge and meet your match on our fantastic free dating site.

The post Are Your Online Dating Messages Too Predictable? appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

There’s no place for this sub-par experience. Dating sites are conspicuous, but some are better than others – let’s explain what we mean…

Extensive profile categories

The more we know about someone, the easier it is to stir their romantic chemistry with our own interests. Top dating sites are able to give a wide, thorough hit list of everything a user wants to talk about. If they like a specific thing, you can take it for conversational purposes, as an ice-breaker to your search.

Do they smoke? Are they into pets? What’s their perfect first date? You’ll want to investigate these (and other) points of interest before a chat gears up. There’s no point saying how much you hate rock music, for example, if ‘moshing and sweaty air guitar’ is on their list of fave things to do.

VIP features worth paying for

The top dating sites, in most cases, have ascending levels of privilege to climb if you have the cash to spare. For a small monthly sum, you get increased visibility, access to the location of fellow users, and/or a ‘check’ function so you can see who’s read your messages. All of this can go a long way to doubling or tripling your match potential.

However, the lower end of the online dating scale will offer VIP packages that are… well… superfluous, to say the least. They’ll give you tokens for ‘winks’ and ‘super likes’ that don’t really go anywhere to making you more of a hot prospect. Some don’t even allow you to talk to someone before you cough up the cash! That’s especially ludicrous, if you ask us – connection should be free to all.

Anti-scamming protection

It’s the biggest blight of searching for love online, and we’re sick to the back and front teeth of it. Scammers prey on our desire for care, support and physical contact. They’ll shamelessly fool you into sharing credit card info, or divulging things you rather you hadn’t. The top dating sites, whatever their creed, should work to weed them out of their accounts network.

The team behind FreeAndSingle do just that, as it happens. We’re partners with Scamalytics, a digital detection agency that can identify where a scammer is cropping up on our database. Dodgy profiles are put through intense scrutiny, so we can determine if they’re real. Oh yeah – we also check every first message, photo upload and bio line, so there’s the absolute lowest risk of being catfished.

Can you guess that we hit those other two points as well? If so, you’re bang on the money – FreeAndSingle is leading the top dating sites, in many respects, and you should see what the bandwagon’s all about! Sign up for a fab twist to your love life before another, less radiant site whispers in your ear…

The post What The Top Dating Sites Do Best, And Why You Should Care appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

A lot of people get needlessly worked up about the cost of a first meet-up, but it’s well worth knowing that you don’t have to splash the cash to dazzle your date.

The real secret to a successful date doesn’t have anything to do with being a spendthrift – it’s all about picking the right spot! To get you inspired, here are a few brilliant first date ideas on a shoestring.

A stroll in the country

If you know your date is fond of the outdoors, accompany them for a soothing stroll in the countryside. It’s a great way to create a romantic atmosphere.

There’re no daunting drink prices staring back at you from a bar menu, and no scary-looking food tabs. It’s just you and your date together, with plenty of time to talk and probe one another.

Homemade brunch

A beautiful brunch doesn’t have to bruise your bank balance. If you’ve got a knack for cooking or the ability to follow a recipe with confidence, you can save a bundle on your very first date by inviting your new friend round for a homemade meal.

There are tonnes of lip-smacking brunch ideas out there on the web. Most of them can be whipped up with ease for half the price of a restaurant dish. Remember, everyone likes someone who can cook….

Gaming and movie marathons 

An indoor date doesn’t have to be dull. In fact, if your partner has casually mentioned their favourite movie or a passion for gaming, you could have a terrific time together by simply sitting in front of the TV with a big bowl of homemade popcorn.

It won’t cost you a penny and you’ll already have brownie points in the bag for remembering their tastes, well before your relationship levels-up! 

Local events

You might be surprised at the wide range of events taking place in your local area – and a lot of them are likely to be free!

Scout the region to see what’s coming up and consider asking your date along to the next ‘happening’, be it a festival, market, or carnival. There’ll be plenty to look at and loads to talk about; often these local events function as the perfect icebreaker.

Hit the museum

Museums are very rarely expensive, but they almost always offer a hugely rewarding time. If you believe your date is something of a culture vulture, it might be worth suggesting a first meet at a museum in the local area. The exhibits will act as a catalyst for insight, guaranteeing a memorable time for a fee you won’t balk at.

You know what else doesn’t cost a penny? Yep – FreeAndSingle, one of the very best dating sites on the web. Sign up today and make your next dating opportunity a priceless affair!

The post First Date Ideas On A Shoestring appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

The same goes for you: it’s a sigh-worthy characteristic of modern romance, or what passes for it. To balance the scale a bit and turn back to real, honest date activity, we’d like to outline the cushioning phenomenon, and why it puts us in a pickle…

Cut to the chase – what is cushioning?

Okay, so let us arrange our academic goggles for a minute, and tell you about the semantic meaning of ‘cushioning’.

Who, or what, is a cushioner? It helps if you recall a time where you were really, really into someone, despite fearing they don’t feel the same way. Or instead, has there been a period in which you’ve undergone some terrible dating advice, and hooked up with a guy or girl who’s just… alright, there for the sake of having a partner?

In these scenarios, you might still have strands of interest attached to you from others, the ex-flames or admirers who keep a candle burning. For whatever reason, you doubt the person you’re officially with. Therefore, to avoid a train wreck, you’re being flirty, emotional and suggestive with a handful of contacts.

It’s like a big, nefarious Plan B – a parachute to catch you if you fall out of love or the object of desire spurns you out of nowhere. Ostensibly, you’re leaving others hanging because they might – just might – be able to pick up the pieces.

Why cushioning can be disastrous

First off, it’s only natural to be worried about commitment; some would argue that we’re programmed to think the grass is greener elsewhere. But for a true partnership, cushioning is a time bomb waiting explode, and can really undermine a person’s self-worth.

There’s the risk of your other half discovering these messages, for one thing. Whether it’s saucy Facebook pings or good ol’ SMS, no-one’s going to appreciate seeing winky faces from Chaz and Steven when you’re staying over. They have a right to ask what the heck you’re playing at.

But also, consider the cushionee’s feelings. Night after night, they’re being roped into a false pretence, imagining the great things you’ll do together. In reality though, they’re on the dating bench, shelved in case you need a pick-me-up. Far better to cut ties, let them go free, and adopt an all-or-nothing mindset. It’s awful having broken hearts at your feet, even with fair intentions…

FreeAndSingle pride ourselves as one of the best dating sites in the UK. That label doesn’t come without knowing how people look for a connection, and how that trust can be broken. We urge all of our users to resist cushioning, to forge ahead with their single, dedicated shot at a soul mate. ‘Uhhming’ and ‘aaahing’ isn’t good for building something real.

So don’t juggle with online dating prospects – otherwise, you won’t find The One! Sign up to a FreeAndSingle account today, and put that promise to the test…

The post What Is Cushioning? Are You A Culprit? appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

Some food is bound to strengthen the lust of your meetup; at least more than prawn crackers could ever hope to… Hence, here are five aphrodisiacs to get those hormones running high!

1. Chilli Peppers

We’re starting with a very, very literal contender for your love-struck dinner. Eating a spicy chili, unless you’re Superman, is going to flood your brain with endorphins, turn up your heart rate, and make you sweat a little – basically all the qualities of arousal. You might notice a girl get flustered and brush hair away from her face, or a guy undo his collar to keep the heat down. Either way, your body language will loosen up.

2. Steak

Actually, we can’t pin down what it is about steak that gets us so amorous… Maybe it’s the primal quality, having a big chunk of meat that’s been cut and tenderised for us. Perhaps it’s the extras you can have – gravy, blue cheese, Diane or peppercorn sauce – that say a lot about the tastes of the person sitting with us. But really, when we analyse it, it’s the juice and layered texture, the fact that you can spend ages savouring a forkful while gazing into another pair of eyes.

3. Pomegranates

A long-standing superfood, pomegranates can boost blood flow throughout your body, making arms, legs and shoulders more sensitive. If your date rests a finger on your wrist, you’ll certainly feel it. The fruit tends to release more testosterone, which can increase the sense of desire in men and women. Order some pomegranate juice before any food is served, and wait for those subtle effects to kick in.

4. Pine Nuts

Obviously you don’t want to ask for a main course of pine nuts and nothing else. Your date will stare at you and fumble for his/her phone, saying they’d rather meet someone less insane. But a sprinkling of pine kernel in pasta dishes, curries or salads will top up your level of zinc, a stimulant for the libido. Also, you’ll get a slight rush of a chemical called boron, heightening the electrical activity in your brain and making (we hope) for inventive conversation.

5. Dark Chocolate

Yep, we realise that milk and/or white chocolate lovers will balk at this, but the romantic properties of dark chocolate are undeniable. A compound called PEA (phenylethylamine) is produced when we cross to the darker side of desserts. Eat a fair bit of it, and your mood and energy will be elevated. Also, there’s that blood flow attribute again – perfect alongside the best meals for a date, making everything feel ten times more sensuous!

You probably have some personal aphrodisiacs to swear by; leave a comment if you want to add any to our list. With a FreeAndSingle profile to set your dating in motion, there are other tastes to try, like the kind of partner you’ve always been searching for. Sign up today and broaden your romantic palette, readying for that pepper eating contest…

The post Pure Chemistry: 5 Aphrodisiacs To Turn Up The Heat On A Date appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

So, let us exorcise those demons, and tell you what ghosting is, why it might happen, and what your response should be. Online dating can be cruel, but we don’t want you to suffer from bad courtesy!

What is ghosting?

Every culture has its own slang terms and gobbledegook, that which an outsider can’t hope to penetrate. It’d be a foolish attempt to isolate where the ghosting verb came from: we’re guessing message boards, text conversations, chat rooms; anywhere our language feeds on itself, conjuring new meanings for age-old problems.

One of those is the tendency – and, let’s admit it, we’ve all been there – to completely vanish from someone’s life. One minute, you’re chatting constantly; the next, they disappear from the face of the virtual earth. For the person being left in the dark, it’s a painful and  frustrating experience.

Ghosting therefore refers to the sudden, inexplicable fading away of any close contact – in this context, specifically with a person we’re dating. We can rage and weep and cry at the moon, but the fact remains that they’re gone, with barely a whisper of a goodbye.

What’s their problem, really?

We can’t assume what another dater is going through behind closed doors. They may have suffered a crisis at work or home. A living situation could’ve changed. Or, even though we hate to think about it, they could’ve met someone else.

What is obvious is that the rapid, fast-food-socialising of the internet is very, very fickle. We can easily connect with gorgeous people from a whole continent away, which is awesome. Yet on the flip-side, they can ignore us, stepping away from the keyboard when they’ve had enough. And the dissociative quality of that bond makes it simpler, or less confrontational, to tell us directly why they’re doing it.

So what can I do about it?

At the outset, as an online dating user, you should expect this inconsiderate behaviour from someone you’ve never met. Until they prove that they’re after a serious relationship (travelling to you, speaking on the phone etc.), it’s only sensible to hold your emotions back a bit. The more you anticipate a ghost, the softer the impact if it does happen.

Of course, an apparent case of ghosting may be false – your opposite number could be AWOL for a good reason, ready to return to you soon. Resist the temptation to send message after message to their account; it’ll only make you seem desperate, insecure and compulsive. Leave a note politely saying that they haven’t got in touch. After a week, if you don’t hear anything, consign them to the scrap heap. They aren’t worth your affection.

How to handle being ghosted? Just keep trying, and don’t let it puncture your love balloon. Sign up to FreeAndSingle today for a sky-high shot at your soulmate…

The post How To Handle Being Ghosted appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

Whatever your stage in the dating journey, we’re here to help you spring clean your love life with a few expert tips to reinvigorate your relationship status.

Best face forward

Welcome in the new season with a new look; add a summery photo to your online dating profile, and make sure you’re smiling! If your image has had a spring makeover then let your profile photo reflect that – a new haircut or colour, experimenting with different makeup or even clothes can do wonders for your confidence and that will shine through! Also ensure that your photos include a mix of angles and situations, incorporating a headshot, mid-shot, and ideally an active shot doing something outdoorsy.

Be sociable

Make sure you mention sociable hobbies on your profile – especially summer-friendly outdoor pursuits, which will provide first date ideas for the coming season. So focus less on your love of reading, and talk up date ideas such as going to festivals, long walks with your dog and going to the beach or park. Free dating ideas like these come so much easier in summer!

Explore new dating sites

If you’ve been relying on one or two free dating sites, cast your net a little wider and try out some others too. We have a diverse range of sites to dive into. Just remember to always practice safe online dating; not only by meeting dates in a public place, but by avoiding some of the dating scammers out there who are just looking to take your money.

Ditch the list

Consider adjusting the way you approach internally too. Do you have a list of pet hates or turn-offs longer than your arm? They could be getting in the way. It’s good to know what you do and don’t like, but usually, what works on paper isn’t nearly as important as how chemistry occurs in real life – so be open-minded enough to allow the unexpected into your life. Some of the top dating sites give great advice – make the most of this if you ever feel stuck in a rut.

We hope we’ve helped you start enjoying this next phase in your quest for happiness with renewed enthusiasm. There’s no time like the present to start getting on with a brand new chapter in your love life; so take the first step in your dating spring clean by signing up to our free online dating platform today!

The post The Big Spring Clean: How To Clear Away The Dating Cobwebs appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

So, let’s learn from those false starts, as we pick you up by the bootstraps to dust off your profile predicament! Consider these suggestions for getting a whole bunch of new messages flying your way:

Fill out EVERY section

It’s not fair to lump everyone into a box, with certain tastes deciding whether a hook-up’s on the cards, but online dating has to filter people to some degree. Otherwise, none of us would get anywhere with the thousands of singletons asking for our attention. The movies you like, the body type you associate with, and other aspects of your life are important details that people want to know.

The more fully fleshed out your profile is, the likelier you are to spark the interest of a fellow dater. Don’t neglect any option to specify your appearance, hobbies and personal titbits like age and sexual preferences.

Mix up your photos

Familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying goes. We wouldn’t go that far in condemning your outdated photo gallery, but sticking with the same images can point to a lack of imagination. Dating coach James Preece has encountered this before, and knows just what a fresh photograph can do for your sense of renewal.

“If things aren’t working out,” he says, “then it’s time to mix them up a little. Try a completely different online dating profile photo. If someone wasn’t interested before, they might give you a second look.” This do-over can be as simple as a new outfit, or a different background than the four walls of your home – experiment and, most of all, have fun!

Swap your timeframes around

Timing might also be to blame for your lack of attention. “People tend to log on at various times of the day,” says James. “So, if you’ve been doing so in the evening, have a go first thing in the morning instead. You’ll reach a whole new audience and could find you get a better response rate.” Many of us do have habits deciding when we sit down at a computer, so it’s worth taking this on board.

It’s easy to accept that the knocks to our confidence are irreversible. But a great drought can be expelled by that one passionate, perfect message from someone you fancy to bits. All you have to do is recognise what’s lacking, and acknowledge that you could be a hair’s breadth away from love at every turn.

Have we fired you up yet? Go on – make that profile uncontestably amazing, and your FreeAndSingle account will be the bright spot in someone’s day. Sign up to our free online dating platform if you haven’t already.

James Preece is an author, coach and regular keynote speaker on a variety of dating and relationship issues. Styled as the Dating Guru, he helps men and women work on their dating skills.

The post How To Break A Dating Drought appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

This can be harmless fun and will likely make you even more attracted to each other. But it’s tough to know where good, excited intentions become lewd and inappropriate. To that end, we’re picking through the sexting topic, gleaning some insight along the way.

So what is it, exactly?

For anyone who doesn’t know, sexting involves exchanging arousing messages; it can relate to texts, photos or even videos. The term’s usage dates back to 2004, when a Canadian newspaper examined the concept of ‘sex text messaging’ in infidelity accusations against David Beckham.

Although the word was bandied around the media sphere in subsequent years, it was the arrival of the smartphone that really took sexting into the mainstream. Nowadays, it can be seen as an inevitable symptom of our desire to share and communicate more than ever.

Asked about why it’s so popular, Dating Guru James Preece tells us “sexting can be a fun way to keep the other person interested between dates.” If you’re sure the other person feels the same way, a sexting session can bring you closer together and foster anticipation for that next meet-up.

Drawing the line

The drive for physical intimacy concerns much of our behaviour, so it’s hardly a surprise that sex and tech have become such swift bedfellows. James, however, reminds us that barriers should be adhered to, depending on how well your relationship’s turning out. “You absolutely do have to keep things light and playful. If you cross the line, then it may come across as creepy and you’ll be cut off with no contact ever again.”

Preece is an expert in these matters, having counselled his share of online daters on what moves to make. He recommends a “gentle tease” that doesn’t border on anything distasteful. If kinkier aspects of your coupling do arise, then “never send naked photos unless you know them well enough, as you don’t know where they might end up if things don’t work out.”

Should I or shouldn’t I?

Sexting can be a fun way to build chemistry with your beau, but always bear Preece’s advice in mind: don’t give too much away until you’re absolutely sure your partner is to be trusted. And when you’re in the first flushes of courtship, leaving things to the imagination can be so much better.

For the majority of people, naked attraction is a basic impulse, and sexting can do a lot to enhance it. Just remember to be careful out there; you might sink what could’ve been a beautiful, slow-building relationship by jumping the gun.

James Preece is an author, coach and regular keynote speaker on a variety of dating and relationship issues. Styled as the Dating Guru, he helps men and women work on their pickup skills, either socially or online.  

The post Sexting: What’s All The Fuss About? appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.