So, in this dating red flag feature, we’ve selected four signs of the cash-skirting charmer, the type of lad or lady who’d rather lose a leg than their wallet….

The ‘sale’ shopper

Bargains can be irresistible, and cause existential woes when you realise people are waiting in line for half an hour, just to get 10% off a t-shirt. All of us have fallen prey to a slashed price at some time or another, but you may have picked up on your date’s starry-eyed mention of the TK Maxx clear-out, or the stupendous qualities of a supermarket meal deal.

A couple of these mentions, and no problem – like we said, cheaper stuff is good, right? Yet, if your partner is banging on and on about bargain hunting, and filling up their free time with it, you may have landed a price-cut addict.

The painful cheque expression

So the bill arrives for your meal, and Mr/Mrs Dashing opposite takes a long, hard look at the total amount. They squint, shake their head, and sigh. What follows is a beseeching glance at you, a kind of ‘Let’s be more careful next time’ appraisal of a night that, until now, you were quite enjoying.

Going halves on food and entertainment is pretty standard nowadays, and it’s commendable. There should still be some room, though, for a treat or two, and splashing out when it’s due. You should be the reason for this.

The leech

Paying for a round of drinks isn’t normally an issue. Forking out for that spontaneous taxi back to your place, either, shouldn’t be a major concern. If you’re willing to do these little gestures for the joy of your time together, it’s fair to expect the same from your date.

Therefore, being magnanimous with your spending starts to become a drag if it isn’t returned in kind. The romantic leech will happily take a glass of wine from you, but they’ll twist and moan when it’s their turn, a subtle slap in the face of mutual affection.

The negative commentator

Just say, for a moment, that you’re taking your first trip along the high street shops, with hands entwined and syncopated steps. Your spot a mouth-watering jacket in a window, which pulls you inside like a wearable magnet. The date follows reluctantly, and frowns at your happiness, declaring you unfit for an impulse buy.

“Look, you really shouldn’t get that, it’ll be a brief eclipse of your personal problems before they come back again to bite you,” they might say, in fewer words. Well, you know what? Screw it – life’s worth living.

These dating red flags are worth caring about, even if you have sympathy with what they hold dear. As the months and years (potentially) wear on, a relationship allows for less and less inequality if it’s going to survive. And the cheapskate mantra might infect other sides of your coupling, such as which of your thoughts and idiosyncrasies are more valuable than the rest.

Take a leaf out of their book: instead of flushing cash down the drain, flush them away instead, and join FreeAndSingle today for likeminded daters who’ll be cavalier enough to keep things exciting.

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Let’s take this idea further though – absence of control can also be a beautiful thing. Anyone who wants to order every aspect of their life, who can’t bear to let go once in a while, might drive you loopy once the love dust has settled.

Here are 4 red flags that suggest your date may be a control freak trying to fix their own leash on you:

1. The Poser

Maybe there’s something a little off about their posture – they’ve been smiling politely at you, with their arms crossed, for three hours, barely straying out of an imagined box. Perhaps they’re snapchatting every bar you go to, pouting into their phone to document every moment.

Either way, these are two examples of posers who – whichever side they land on the extrovert/introvert fence – are thinking too much about themselves to think about you. If you’re easy, relaxed, and in the moment, you should expect your date to likewise surrender their cool.

2. The Worrywart

Getting a call from your beau saying they’ll be ten minutes late to your agreed rendezvous is no big deal. “Okay, no problem,” you’ll say, because it doesn’t matter – you’ll still see each other. Then a text straight after: ‘FUMING at this bus driver!’, with hellish emojis galore. Five more texts of increasing vitriol, until they stomp over to you looking like a hurricane newscast.

Yikes. Imagine if you’re ever late to something, for good reason. Or if plans change out of the blue. There’s definitely a limit to how much pointless anger and hair loss you can take.

3. The Time Leech

It’s adorable when two people can spend every waking minute together. However, none of us should feel we must. Especially in the early stages, you’ll want to look out for near-constant requests to join you and your friends on a pub crawl, or daily invites to stay over.

We all want to be wanted, sure, but separate pursuits are healthy too. Otherwise it’ll be impossible to separate yourself from the identity of coupledom.

4. The Guilt Tripper

Setting personal limits is all well and good, if you can refrain from being a one-man police force. Vegetarians, non-drinkers, moral high-grounders… these types and more can be rounded and interesting, yet they’ll quickly puncture the mood if they admonish you for the rules you live by instead.

Do their lips purse when you pour a third glass of wine? Are they mad when you simply have to watch a one-of-a-kind sporting event? If so, perhaps someone else may be better suited to their Gazillion Commandments.

Control freaks can strangle romance in a heartbeat, which makes it essential to find someone on the same page as you, or at least who respects your differences – and your personal space. To find that perfect match, start free online dating with FreeAndSingle today. We’re not controlling you, just pushing you in the right direction to everlasting love. Not a bad mission, is it?

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That being so, some wild personalities have – how do we put this? – ‘looser’ definitions of dating behaviour than others. People who try to impress, challenge, and make a scene for the sake of it at every opportunity are unlikely to maintain a stable relationship. Let’s explore the prototypical signs of the loose cannon, and how they might blow a hole in your fantasies…

The Humiliator

 Charm has many forms but, sadly, some daters think the best way to grab your affection is to make laboured jokes with a snarky undercurrent. They could be insulting fellow couples in an undertone, or getting overly-stressed about your table placement and demanding action.

When humour is exclusively bad-natured, it doesn’t matter how bright their smile is – chances are you’ll wind up being in the firing line if you stick around.

The Socialiser

You’ve been necking shots together, and now your beau is talking animatedly with one of the bar staff. Fine, you think. Ten minutes later you’re starting to wonder who this person actually wants to be on a date with.

The same goes for anyone who bumps into old friends or interesting strangers on their way to the bathroom, and can’t help but put you on the backburner while indulging their social side. A date is for two people only; their focus should squarely be on you.

The One-Person Charity

Generosity makes a strong, positive first impression that your date isn’t selfish or conceited. However, buying rounds for randomers in the far corners of the pub, or stopping to talk to anyone in the street offering a bible, swings the pendulum the other way.

A personality that gives itself away to all-comers might just be a little naïve, meaning they could involve you in sticky situations that are best avoided. Plus, if they’re paying for you all the time, you’ll feel beholden to them.

The Emotional Windmill

Maybe they get introspective quickly, for long periods, and then burst into manic laughter. Maybe they’re overly self-conscious, then bitter if you point out their achievements.

If joy and sadness are spinning in a cycle of dominant traits, unable to coexist at one moment, you should be wary of your date not having a handle on themselves, never mind you. Breathless declarations of passion could be switched off in an instant and you’ll be left feeling wounded, confused, and resolving to find someone who’s more aware of their emotions. 

Dating can be difficult precisely because we’re waiting to open up at the right juncture, baring our serious side without sacrificing a good time. The loose cannons of the world seem to forget this, going from one extreme to the next and making it hard to trust what they claim to feel for you. It’s usually not their fault (unless they’re wilfully ignorant), so remember not to jump to conclusions, and give people a chance to show their best qualities!

To hunt for the cream of the crop, join FreeAndSingle and meet singles in your area, completely free of charge.

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So if you’re worried your date might turn out to be a lot to handle in the long run, here are some dating red flags to look out for that indicate they could be the high maintenance type.

The Whinger

There’s nothing wrong with the occasional whinge. What you don’t want is a constant grey filter over your day, courtesy of a date who has sarcasm as their default setting. Moaning is funny if it’s tempered by enjoying life – when they’re constantly mad about the traffic or their long day at work, this could be a sign they have little good to say about anything. That includes you, if you give them a chance.

The Phone Addict

One of the cardinal sins of dating is making you feel like they really could be anywhere else and not care. And one of the most common ways this is achieved nowadays is through the sins of the smartphone obsessive. Having someone play with a screen blatantly, happily and without shame on your meet-up is a colossal warning sign.

If they can’t shut their friends or Snapchat acquaintances off for two hours, what hope have you got for nights in together, snuggled up and drowning in each other’s small talk?

The Nostalgist

“Darren was so amazing, he took us away for the weekend to Malta, and then there was Gus too, he was a chef and had loads of his mates round to cook for us . . .” Proceed with caution if your date is blathering about old relationships.

It’s completely fine to lambast or enshrine your exes as long as you’re not listing them like a Tombola prize. When someone gets misty-eyed for a partner’s material benefits, you can be sure they’ll size you up in the same fashion.

The Boxing Opponent

You’ve come to terms with the fact they’re a vegan eco-warrior on the brink of spiritual rebirth, and you’re telling them how you just fancy a cuppa on the sofa most evenings, nothing too strenuous. They stick their tongue in their cheek and glare at you. “I don’t agree with any of that,” they say, and you can practically see the war paint on their face.

Some people thrive on conflict and, thus, aren’t suited to dating. We’re all unique, so don’t give anyone the time of day who thinks they’re better than you.

Relationships are a two-way street. As soon as an imbalance forms, it’s often hard to steer things back to a steady course. High maintenance partners aren’t always a recipe for disaster, but if you notice these dating red flags, you may want to tread carefully.

Looking for an easy-going date that won’t demand the earth? Join FreeAndSingle today to find someone who’s not just after an entourage!

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The killjoy is an unwitting pitfall, drawing in victims with mad Ibiza holiday photos and 3am bedroom selfies taken with angelic precision. But looks alone don’t decide what makes a great date. Here are some warning signs that your potential lover is more boring than a wet flannel.

The Narcissist

Okay, you get it. Their family is close, they like revving their car, and their favourite food is bolognese; was that worth the 30 minutes it took to reach these prosaic miracles of wonder? Ever since you ordered the first drink, they made a big deal of taking their coat off and saying how late they were getting ready.

You find yourself dozing at the round offensive O of their mouth, which ceases to blab when their phone buzzes, and there’s an awkward pause before another round of The Places I’ve Socialised lurches into motion. “What about me!?” you want to scream, to the brick wall that has more interest in your thoughts and opinions.

The Politician

Discussing important issues is, funnily enough, important. Social injustice should be treated with due respect and the fiery wrath of conviction when the occasion calls for it. To unleash your anger over mid-afternoon coffee, however, when the person of your dreams could be judging your every move, is a clear message that you don’t know when to let it all go.

It’s an even worse subject to bring up in absence of anything else to say, perhaps the least-attractive stop-gap in the entire arsenal of conversation. If talk turns to tax rates, you’re best to vote ‘no’.

The Music Snob

Whether someone’s a 3^rd generation boyband fanatic, or an isolated woodsman who only rates the sounds of a sanded banjo, the worst kind of partners are the ones that cannot see any joy in your music collection. “Ugh, Taylor Swift,” they’ll say as you die slightly inside – what about listening to the radio in the car together, party playlists, duets in the bathroom mirror? Music snobs can be a real romance killer, and a sign that they’re unwilling to compromise.

The Apologiser

Arguably, all of the above types of people cannot help but be themselves. Personal taste will dictate whether you find them boring or brilliant, but a greater sin is saying sorry in advance for how you come across.

Yes, your hairy arms are odd. I don’t mind. I didn’t, but then you brought it up, and now I’m wondering if you can ever relax. Trust your good side and the bad won’t even be noticed. Confidence is a case of mind over matter – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Even though none of us have superhuman powers of judgement, these dating red flags will alert you to the fact that your date just might not be worth your effort. Join our free online dating site today, and start making your way to The One.

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So how do you spot a gold digger before it’s too late? Here are a few tell tale signs that your date is all about the money.

The Magpie

Dressing up in designer clothes or picking them up in your new car may be a strategy for success on a first date, but beware of flashing the cash too much in those early stages of a relationship. After all, you might attract a partner for the wrong reasons.

A magpie will have expensive taste and high expectations. So unless you can afford to shower them with luxury gifts every birthday, Christmas and anniversary, proceed with caution.

The Freerider

The jury is still out as to whether or not men should pay for the first date. However, it’s generally accepted that both parties should at least offer to go halves, even if the other insists that they’ve got the bill covered. If your date doesn’t bat an eyelid when you pull out your card to pay for the meal, there’s a chance that you’re dating a freerider.

The Scrounger

We all have cash flow problems from time to time, and it’s easy enough to leave your wallet or purse at home. So if your new fling asks to borrow some change, or for you to cover their half of the bill, you shouldn’t panic just yet.

However, if weeks later no mention of the ‘loan’ has been made, or they ask to borrow money again, think twice before saying yes. Setting the precedent for being a free source of income is a dangerous game in any relationship.

The Fair Weather Friend

Your partner jumps at the opportunity to dine at that new restaurant in town, but isn’t so keen to come over for a takeaway and film. Perhaps you’re running short of money before the month end, and they sulk when you ask if they can cover the bill this time. If your date is only around for the good times, you should reconsider their motives.

Whether you’ve joined the dating game to find love or you’re simply looking to have fun, you want to be sure that you’re dating genuine people who like you for who you are. So if you’re worried about being taken for a ride, keep an eye out for these tell tale signs that your date is hanging out with you for the wrong reasons.

Want to meet someone worth your time and attention? Join our free dating site to start chatting with local singles.

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It’s easy to get bowled over by someone during those giddy first dates, so how do you keep a clear head and spot a recipe for disaster before it ends in tears? Look out for these 4 signs to spot a cheater before it’s too late.

The Wandering Eye

You’re out at a restaurant, and his gaze follows every waitress that whizzes past. She goes to the toilet, and seems to flirt with every guy in her path. Social butterflies may seem harmless, but if your date is easily distracted by other men and women in the room, proceed with caution. If they can’t keep their focus on you during the early dates, it may spell trouble later down the line.

The One Track Mind

It feels oh-so good to feel wanted, doesn’t it? When you meet a new partner and your love life takes a turn for the good books, it can be hard to listen to your head over your heart. Whilst passion should be a crucial component of any relationship, beware of men and women with a one track mind.

If they seem more eager to skip straight to walking you home than to let the hours slip by over dinner getting to know one another, they could be setting you up for disappointment when you want to get serious.

The Closed Book

Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve, but there’s a difference between a closed book and someone with secrets. Do they move their phone out of sight when they receive a text, or change the subject when you talk about past relationships? This could be a sign that they like their privacy, especially in the early days. But if these signals persist, you may need to consider what they are trying to hide.

The Reformed Player

On the other hand, your date may be honest and upfront about their relationship history, and admit that they have played around in the past. Whilst there’s something to be said for laying your cards out on the table, be very wary of anyone with a track record of cheating.

Sure, their last girlfriend may have been a nightmare, or their marriage could have already been in tatters, but it’s easy to make excuses for your actions. Remember the saying ‘a leopard never changes its spots’?

You’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince or princess, but by keeping your wits about you in the early days, you can dodge heartbreak and find someone deserving of your time and attention. Keep an eye out for these tell-tale signs that they will cheat, to make sure your new match is an all round good egg.

The post Dating Red Flags: 4 Signs They Will Cheat appeared first on The FreeAndSingle Blog.

The idea of being with just one person forever can be a daunting prospect. However, whilst it’s good to be discerning, a failure to commit will sabotage any relationship and undoubtedly hurt those involved. Here are five signs that you’re dating someone who fears commitment:

The Future-Phobe

Your date seems perfect in the present, but try mentioning future plans and they’ll recoil. Does this sound familiar? Someone who is commitment phobic will often struggle with even the smallest commitments. This makes it hard to plan ahead and can quickly become frustrating. Try not to accept or excuse inconsistent behaviour.

The Avid Avoider

Is your date reluctant to meet your family and friends, or to engage with your world? These can be telltale signs that he/she is scared of commitment. Whilst meeting a partner’s loved ones can be a nerve-wracking experience, the continued avoidance of it may spell trouble. Similarly, a failure to mention you or introduce you to their friends may signal disaster.

The Subtle Sabotager

Someone who is scared of committing will often build an invisible wall around themselves to stop others from getting too close. When things start to heat up the commitment phobe will often become cool and distant, and start to retreat. They might become unpredictable or critical in order to subtly push you away. Conversely, if you begin to retreat, they might start to become closer again, fearing rejection.

Commitment phobes sometimes prefer long-distance relationships or being with people who lead busy and independent lives. They may also prioritise their own work and interests at the expense of your relationship. Be cautious of those who expect your total commitment but who are unable to offer you the same in return.

The Ambiguous Amour

Many people struggle to put their feelings into words. However, if they can’t tell you how they feel then they should be letting you know their feelings through actions. If things aren’t progressing well then perhaps it’s just not right. Marriage and babies might not be on the agenda, but you should at least know where you stand.

The Fickle Flirt

Commitment phobes will often have a string of very short-term relationships. It may well be that they just hadn’t met Mr. or Miss Right yet. However, when such a relationship history comes with other commitment red flags then it could be a cause for concern.

Issues with commitment can be caused by a number of things and it’s always best to try and get them out in the open. Perhaps the person was hurt in the past and is scared of being hurt again. However, you shouldn’t settle for being badly treated. If you spot these red flags then proceed with caution. A relationship without commitment will not be a relationship at all.

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Welcome to the strict world of the perfectionist. At first this can be a tempting proposition; well groomed, charming and a strong desire to succeed are all great traits. But if he or she is so perfect, why aren’t they already taken?

Single perfectionists will often ‘shop around’, dating multiple people without ever making a choice. This is often due to a belief that someone flawless will be just around the corner. By watching out for these warning signs at the dating stage, you can avoid potential disappointment further down the line.

The Stern Critic

He may casually suggest that you would look better in a girly dress than jeans. Or, she may comment on the unruliness of your facial hair. Alarm bells should sound if you receive any kind of negative comments on your appearance within the initial ‘getting to know each other’ stage, as this is often a strong sign that your date has controlling traits. No one should be made to feel like they should change – how boring would it be if we were all the same!

The Commandeer

You’ve been dying to see the new Tarantino film for weeks, but instead you end up drinking in their favourite bar. If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re dating a perfectionist. Your feelings and preferences are often pushed to the side in favour of their plans, because obviously their ideas are better…

Relationships are all about give and take. If you feel like your ideas aren’t valued, it’s probably a good idea to quit while you’re ahead and choose someone who is more open to suggestions.

The Let-Down

Despite genuinely looking forward to a date, they cancel at the last minute. Either they have a deadline at work that must be met or they cannot deviate from their nightly gym routine.

Whatever the issue may be, this is usually due to a self-enforced standard – straying from this routine would equal failure. If you find yourself playing catch up with someone who always has more important plans, it’s a sure sign that they are never going to be satisfied in a relationship.

As the old saying goes, if it looks too good to be true it probably is. But it’s not all doom and gloom. The perfectionist can be great for a casual fling, as long as you’re aware that it may never lead on to anything more serious. Having a strong mind and self-discipline isn’t necessarily a bad thing – in moderation. But dating a true perfectionist can leave you feeling undervalued and unsatisfied. So if you spot any of these signs, proceed with caution.

Looking to meet someone who loves your quirks and shares your interests? Explore our latest singles at FreeAndSingle.

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