Many of us have experienced the disappointment of meeting that near-perfect person, only to discover that they just can’t seem to commit. It’s generally assumed that men are commitment-phobes, but women often struggle with commitment too.
The idea of being with just one person forever can be a daunting prospect. However, whilst it’s good to be discerning, a failure to commit will sabotage any relationship and undoubtedly hurt those involved. Here are five signs that you’re dating someone who fears commitment:
Your date seems perfect in the present, but try mentioning future plans and they’ll recoil. Does this sound familiar? Someone who is commitment phobic will often struggle with even the smallest commitments. This makes it hard to plan ahead and can quickly become frustrating. Try not to accept or excuse inconsistent behaviour.
The Avid Avoider
Is your date reluctant to meet your family and friends, or to engage with your world? These can be telltale signs that he/she is scared of commitment. Whilst meeting a partner’s loved ones can be a nerve-wracking experience, the continued avoidance of it may spell trouble. Similarly, a failure to mention you or introduce you to their friends may signal disaster.
The Subtle Sabotager
Someone who is scared of committing will often build an invisible wall around themselves to stop others from getting too close. When things start to heat up the commitment phobe will often become cool and distant, and start to retreat. They might become unpredictable or critical in order to subtly push you away. Conversely, if you begin to retreat, they might start to become closer again, fearing rejection.
Commitment phobes sometimes prefer long-distance relationships or being with people who lead busy and independent lives. They may also prioritise their own work and interests at the expense of your relationship. Be cautious of those who expect your total commitment but who are unable to offer you the same in return.
The Ambiguous Amour
Many people struggle to put their feelings into words. However, if they can’t tell you how they feel then they should be letting you know their feelings through actions. If things aren’t progressing well then perhaps it’s just not right. Marriage and babies might not be on the agenda, but you should at least know where you stand.
The Fickle Flirt
Commitment phobes will often have a string of very short-term relationships. It may well be that they just hadn’t met Mr. or Miss Right yet. However, when such a relationship history comes with other commitment red flags then it could be a cause for concern.
Issues with commitment can be caused by a number of things and it’s always best to try and get them out in the open. Perhaps the person was hurt in the past and is scared of being hurt again. However, you shouldn’t settle for being badly treated. If you spot these red flags then proceed with caution. A relationship without commitment will not be a relationship at all.