We all want a bit of pep in our dating diary, to be able to say we met some truly crazy people and enjoyed their attention. Charisma can hook you helplessly in, because being dull is the number one dating crime, and most of us are suckers for someone with a lot to say and a unique way of saying it.
That being so, some wild personalities have – how do we put this? – ‘looser’ definitions of dating behaviour than others. People who try to impress, challenge, and make a scene for the sake of it at every opportunity are unlikely to maintain a stable relationship. Let’s explore the prototypical signs of the loose cannon, and how they might blow a hole in your fantasies…
Charm has many forms but, sadly, some daters think the best way to grab your affection is to make laboured jokes with a snarky undercurrent. They could be insulting fellow couples in an undertone, or getting overly-stressed about your table placement and demanding action.
When humour is exclusively bad-natured, it doesn’t matter how bright their smile is – chances are you’ll wind up being in the firing line if you stick around.
You’ve been necking shots together, and now your beau is talking animatedly with one of the bar staff. Fine, you think. Ten minutes later you’re starting to wonder who this person actually wants to be on a date with.
The same goes for anyone who bumps into old friends or interesting strangers on their way to the bathroom, and can’t help but put you on the backburner while indulging their social side. A date is for two people only; their focus should squarely be on you.
The One-Person Charity
Generosity makes a strong, positive first impression that your date isn’t selfish or conceited. However, buying rounds for randomers in the far corners of the pub, or stopping to talk to anyone in the street offering a bible, swings the pendulum the other way.
A personality that gives itself away to all-comers might just be a little naïve, meaning they could involve you in sticky situations that are best avoided. Plus, if they’re paying for you all the time, you’ll feel beholden to them.
The Emotional Windmill
Maybe they get introspective quickly, for long periods, and then burst into manic laughter. Maybe they’re overly self-conscious, then bitter if you point out their achievements.
If joy and sadness are spinning in a cycle of dominant traits, unable to coexist at one moment, you should be wary of your date not having a handle on themselves, never mind you. Breathless declarations of passion could be switched off in an instant and you’ll be left feeling wounded, confused, and resolving to find someone who’s more aware of their emotions.
Dating can be difficult precisely because we’re waiting to open up at the right juncture, baring our serious side without sacrificing a good time. The loose cannons of the world seem to forget this, going from one extreme to the next and making it hard to trust what they claim to feel for you. It’s usually not their fault (unless they’re wilfully ignorant), so remember not to jump to conclusions, and give people a chance to show their best qualities!
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