Well done, you! After fighting through some initial awkwardness, selecting which of your stories aren’t cringe-inducing, and being politely mischievous for a few hours, you and your date have parted on good terms. There was a light in their eyes, a spring to their step as they got in the taxi… but there’s more work to be done.
The second date is a truer test for your chance at love. You’re less hesitant, freer, more inclined to push each other’s buttons. And you can, providing you lay careful groundwork for this crucial yardstick to be planted on. Here’s how to prepare for a second date victory:
Be forthright, or swap roles
If you’ve mutually agreed on a meeting place the first time, one of you will have to take the lead if you’re going to discover what’s really to their tastes, and what isn’t. Suggest somewhere that would totally entertain you if you were by yourself. The time for being guarded is over: let the full sense of your personality wash over decisions from now on.
Alternatively, if you called the shots earlier, hand the decision-making to your date and refuse to take it back. Even bad choices can be rescued by spontaneity and a willingness to see what happens.
Don’t text too much
There’s a falsehood – gleaned from American college movies, no doubt – that women hate sending between-date messages, scared of being too needy. It’s a bunch of codswallop. People are people, and neither partner should be scared of chatting to their beau without predetermined waiting periods.
That said, it’s too much to expect a recent stranger to indulge dozens of text messages a day, or continue your first date convos on Skype later that evening. Such behaviour does seem desperate, and it’ll leave less mystery when your second meeting rolls around.
Keep your cards close
Okay, so performing a dating autopsy with your friends is all well and good – it can lead to some hilarious put-downs, or squeal-inflected encouragement from your nearest and dearest. However, sharing too much can also harm your perspective. It should be you and you alone that decides whether someone is worth your time. Wait until there’s actually momentum picking up before you announce your date’s weird hobby, or how much they check their hair in the mirror.
Above all, relax
No-one likes a worry wart. Thinking about someone you fancy for days on end, relishing their eventual appearance, can make you extra-susceptible to paranoia. They want to rearrange – does this mean I’m not important? They have to get off the phone – who else are they seeing?
Temptation down this dark road comes in many forms, and you’ll do yourself a favour by chilling out and waiting for the stars to align. If nothing ends up happening, they clearly aren’t worth your time and energy.
There you have it: a plan of attack to crumble the second date fortress, to breach its walls and march solidly to a happy ending. Take heed of these points and you’ll be laughing together about how nervous you both were in no time at all! As ever, sign up to FreeAndSingle and put this into practice with singles in your local area.