Once you’ve created a profile, started searching for a perfect match, and eventually stumbled across someone who ticks all the boxes, the moment comes to introduce yourself and see if they feel the same way. This can be a daunting prospect, and no doubt the line ‘you never get a second chance to make a first impression’ will be running through your head. Of course, your online dating first message is a crucial one, but you shouldn’t lose sleep over it. So we’ve got a few ideas on how to make the introduction in a way that suits you.
1. Ask them a Question
It’s very easy to overcomplicate these first messages, so if you’re struggling to find the right words to say then why not take the stress out of the equation by prompting a question? This could be as simple as ‘Hi, how are you doing?’, or it could follow up on something that they wrote in their bio to find out more about them. This will show that you are interesting in getting to know them, and hopefully initiate a more natural conversation to take away the nerves (and make them more likely to respond)!
2. Draw on Similarities
If you are writing a message to someone online, think about what exactly made them seem perfect for you. Did they mention that they are a film buff, or that they also love romantic meals, or do they simply live in the same area? By drawing on similarities, you can establish a connection with your opening message and base your message on a relative point of interest.
3. Pay them a Compliment
Tread carefully with this one, but don’t be afraid to make a compliment so long as it’s appropriate and not too over the top. Try to be genuine and original – for example if their profile picture is at the beach you could say you love their photo and ask where the beach is. However comments that are crude or superficial may only put them off.
4. Make them Laugh
Humour doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so don’t force this if you can’t think of anything witty. However if you can think of something appropriate and light-hearted to say that will make them smile or – even better – laugh, then it’s a great way to showcase your personality and draw them in.
5. Tell them About You
If you really want to engage someone in your first message, you want to make them interested in you. This doesn’t mean sharing your life story or boasting about your successes, but try to find something relevant that you think their profile suggests they find interesting. If they love travelling, for example, tell them about your favourite place to travel. This will also help to initiate a conversation.
The most important thing about your opening message is to be yourself. Don’t be too over the top, but show that you are interested and give them a reason why they should be. Take your time over forming a great message, but try not to let it stress you out too much! If it’s meant to be, it will be, so take the plunge and get in touch to see what happens.
Photo Credit: Kristina Alexanderson