Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? We think so, particularly since internet dating gives people plenty of time to agonise over the next ‘new message’ icon, or the follow-up meeting after first date nerves have been vanquished.
Let’s take this idea further though – absence of control can also be a beautiful thing. Anyone who wants to order every aspect of their life, who can’t bear to let go once in a while, might drive you loopy once the love dust has settled.
Here are 4 red flags that suggest your date may be a control freak trying to fix their own leash on you:
1. The Poser
Maybe there’s something a little off about their posture – they’ve been smiling politely at you, with their arms crossed, for three hours, barely straying out of an imagined box. Perhaps they’re snapchatting every bar you go to, pouting into their phone to document every moment.
Either way, these are two examples of posers who – whichever side they land on the extrovert/introvert fence – are thinking too much about themselves to think about you. If you’re easy, relaxed, and in the moment, you should expect your date to likewise surrender their cool.
2. The Worrywart
Getting a call from your beau saying they’ll be ten minutes late to your agreed rendezvous is no big deal. “Okay, no problem,” you’ll say, because it doesn’t matter – you’ll still see each other. Then a text straight after: ‘FUMING at this bus driver!’, with hellish emojis galore. Five more texts of increasing vitriol, until they stomp over to you looking like a hurricane newscast.
Yikes. Imagine if you’re ever late to something, for good reason. Or if plans change out of the blue. There’s definitely a limit to how much pointless anger and hair loss you can take.
3. The Time Leech
It’s adorable when two people can spend every waking minute together. However, none of us should feel we must. Especially in the early stages, you’ll want to look out for near-constant requests to join you and your friends on a pub crawl, or daily invites to stay over.
We all want to be wanted, sure, but separate pursuits are healthy too. Otherwise it’ll be impossible to separate yourself from the identity of coupledom.
4. The Guilt Tripper
Setting personal limits is all well and good, if you can refrain from being a one-man police force. Vegetarians, non-drinkers, moral high-grounders… these types and more can be rounded and interesting, yet they’ll quickly puncture the mood if they admonish you for the rules you live by instead.
Do their lips purse when you pour a third glass of wine? Are they mad when you simply have to watch a one-of-a-kind sporting event? If so, perhaps someone else may be better suited to their Gazillion Commandments.
Control freaks can strangle romance in a heartbeat, which makes it essential to find someone on the same page as you, or at least who respects your differences – and your personal space. To find that perfect match, start free online dating with FreeAndSingle today. We’re not controlling you, just pushing you in the right direction to everlasting love. Not a bad mission, is it?