Deciding to date again
Having been single for a while, it can be terrifying to think about putting yourself back onto the dating market. You tell yourself times have changed, people might do things differently and you’ve changed too – you’ve a child or children, your body is different, your life perspective and priorities have changed dramatically since the last time you pulled on you little black dress and headed out on the town.
However, despite the scary thought of going back to dating, and this time as a single parent with baggage, know that it is healthy to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Getting stuck in a routine will have helped you and your kids achieve a sense of normalcy during the period of getting used to being a single parent, but that’s not a lesson you want ingrained in your kids psyche. They need to know that in order to achieve something great, risks have to be taken.
Getting a sitter while you put yourself back out there
First things first: having made the decision that you are ready and comfortable with heading back out into the dating pool, you need to make sure that your children are cared for in your absence.
Ask friends and family members if they would be amenable to looking after the kids for an evening a week to give you time to go out. Not only might they be able to help get you a few starter dates, but they’ll be happy to look after your sprogs at least once. Once you know your kids are being cared for, you can relax and dedicate a little time to yourself. Sign up to Free and Single Parent and you’ll instantly have thousands of eligible singles who understand the restrictions and priorities of parenthood at your fingertips. Arrange a few dates and start getting excited!
Meeting a prospective suitor for the first time
Remember: children are impressionable. Keep your dating life private and for you only. It is unlikely that you will meet your ideal suitor immediately, so don’t be discouraged, but keep enjoying dating. Once you do meet someone special, stick to dates for just the two of you for a while until you can be sure that it is a relationship. Only then, once you are both comfortable enough with each other, should you introduce your date to your kids.
If your new relationship has children on the other side as well, consider meeting your partner’s kids first and then after a few meetings, go ahead and introduce both sets of kids to one another.
Incorporating two families together
This is never going to be easy. You all have memories of how life used to be before you were single, when you were single and projections of how the future ought to go. You have to try and relax and be open and communicative with everyone. Each person involved, however minor, will experience repercussions from the uniting of two different families. New relations will be gained, new friends, even new homes, schools and outlooks on life. It will be hard, but if you are prepared to deal with whatever situations may arise and if you have the patience to ride out the tough times, you and your family are in for a treat.