advice

The temperature is dropping in the UK and USA and rising fast in Oz – but wherever you are, we’re all on the downwards slope into the holiday season. Make the most of your dates by exploring new places together and experiencing new things. Here are some ideas to get you going!

 

UK – Head to Castle Fraser near Aberdeen for a fairy tale date and wrap up warm for a walk around the walled garden together.

 

USA – If you’re taking your kids along to meet your date in New York, insure it all goes smoothly with a trip to the Big Apple Circus!

 

OZ – Enjoy spring in Melbourne with this selection of lovely picnic spots around the city.

 

UK – Here’s a crazy idea – head to La Refuges de Fondus in Paris, a short skip and a jump away from London. Enjoy the novel dining experience!

 

USA – Pop to the Butterfly Enclosure in Phoenix to enjoy a romantic walk among the butterflies.

 

OZ – Looking for a way to keep things exciting after a few dates? Head to Paramatta outside Sydney and enjoy a night in this luxe Park Royal hotel.

 

UK – If you’re in Manchester, head to the Castlefield Gallery to enjoy some creative and contemporary art together.

 

USA – Take a road trip out from Las Vegas to Red Rock Canyon to enjoy some fantastic sights and a stroll around nature together.

 

OZ – Get yourselves to Salamanca Place in Hobart for a date of people-watching, chilling on the waterfront and patronising cafes.

 

Summer flings can be a lot of fun for dating singles

Times are a-changin’

Something about the change in season, the rising temperatures and the proximity of Pimms causes most people to start daydreaming about Summer romance. While you want someone to snuggle up with during the long cold Winter months, Summer is a time for getting out and about, being spontaneous and just kicking back and enjoying life.

 

Will you, won’t you?

Of course, the trouble with Summer flings is that often, they evolve more intensely and at a faster pace than a normal relationship due to the excitement of the season and the time ticking away until it starts chucking it down with rain again. Sometimes, this isn’t a problem, both parties having entered the fling with the knowledge that the end will come and thus savouring the sweeter moments of the tryst all the more. Of course, it doesn’t always work out this way and you have to think about what you want before you get involved with someone.

 

You’ve got a crush and you’ve got it bad…

If you have been single a while and have had no luck in finding a potential partner, then when a seemingly perfect Summer fling fills your days with fun, laughter and a feeling of intimacy, you are quickly going to find yourselves falling head over heels. When the fling ends along with BBQ season, you’re going to be crushed and even more unlikely to feel up to dating other people. So consider your heart carefully before jumping into any relationships you know can’t have a future.

 

Some sage advice to follow

If you have ‘The Conversation’ to discuss where your fledgling romance is headed, be clear about what it is you want and do not settle. Never remain in a relationship with someone who only wants a fling if you want something more. You can’t change them, you won’t convince them otherwise – you’ll only end up hurt and alone.

 

But what if..?

Of course, there is the possibility that your Summer fling is the one for you, in which case, let the relationship grow naturally. You wouldn’t demand answers about your future from a someone you had only been seeing for two weeks in the real world, why would you try that tactic just because it’s hot outside and you’re in a holiday mood? If the weather turns Autumnal and you’re still meeting up from impromptu picnics in the park at lunch or discussing what to do next weekend together, relax into it and enjoy. Don’t feel the need to start classifying your relationship or forcing it.

 

1. Discuss what holidays mean to each of you – does one of you prefer action and adventure while the other one just wants to chill in the spa?

 

2. Make compromises – agree to do a bit of what makes each other happy before judging. So the yoga bunny could try out quad biking one morning while the action man can agree to trial a downward dog sunrise session the day after.

 

3. Set a budget and stick to it. These days its not expected for the man to pay for everything, but everyone still has different rules in their minds of who should pay for what. Discuss money before you go and make sure you know who is paying for what so you don’t end up with any nasty surprises.

 

4. Prioritise each other. At the end of the day, you are not single anymore and while it is fine to take time apart to pursue different aspects of your holiday, try and meet-up again in the evenings for dinner and a drink, or for a walk at lunchtime, or a snuggle and a lie-in in the morning. This is a couple holiday.

 

5. Plan, plan, plan. Not to destroy spontaneity, but if one of you is a tad more punctual than the other, keep that in mind. When you are waiting for your other half to turn up for a flight and the departure gates are starting to close, that can put stress on even the most solid of relationships. Not a good way to start the holiday.

 

6. Enjoy yourselves! After all, you are on holiday! Let the freedom of not having to wake up early for work, suffer through a long commute, deal with the boss, meet with clients, eat the same bad sandwich from the corner store at lunchtime – revitalise you!

 

7. Try new things.Holiday’s are the time to get experimental, especially if you can be nervous about new experiences at home. Maybe taste the local cusine instead of plumping for chips, check out the local sights instead of just chilling by the pool and buy a souvenir together to remind you of your first holiday.

 

8. If you are a ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’ sort of person, simplify your holiday morning routine by deciding on an outfit while you are still at home and packing it in its entirety. Crisis averted and no-one has to stand around wasting precious holiday time because of a sartorial melt-down!

 

9. Both keep your own travel documents and euros on your person, but make sure you have copies of your partners documents too – that way if one on you looses your stuff, you have a back-up plan already in place to catch you and keep things from getting too stessfull.

 

10. Relax! This is some quality alone time to be together with your honey, to enjoy being with them in a new place and to experience what concentrated time alone means for your relationship. Embrace the opportunity and have a great time.

Go to an exhibition to show off your cultural cahonies

In the UK? Try visiting London for the Life and Death in Pompeii and Herculaneum exhibit, where you’ll leave with a real sense that life is precious.

In Oz? Pop to Melbourne to sample some of the city’s renowned art and see One Hundred and Twenty Seconds crowdfunding art project in Federation Square, teaching you to make the most of every moment.

In the USA? Why not head over to see Upstream Colour, a new film released in early April and enjoy a giggle together in the back of the cinema as the baffling story plays out in front of your eyes.

 

Head to a sporting event together

In the UK? Head to the FINA Diving World Series in Edinburgh to catch a glimpse of some of the world’s best high divers doing what they do, all while wearing nothing more than teeny tiny pants.

In Australia? Get yourselves to Canberra to support the Australian Running Festival and maybe even spark off some inspiration to attempt a marathon yourselves.

In the USA? Head to Georgia for the Golf Masters Tournament. Take a picnic and enjoy a stroll around the grounds watching the best golfers in the world make their moves.

 

Check out a food festival to share new tastes with each other

In the UK? Visit the Lancashire Food Festival and let your taste buds be tempted by the huge array of delicacies on offer. Don’t forget to share, this is no place for chip-watching.

In Oz? Check out the Kangaroo Island Seafood Festival and gobble platefuls of freshly caught fish, as well as enjoying seaside BBQs and campfire cooking.

In America? Find a festival dedicated to everyone’s favorite breakfast item and go to BaconFest, in Chicago to sample bacon from producers all over the country.

 

Have a great date, wherever you are and let us know in the comments whether you have any tips for date ideas to do in May!

 

 

Phew.

You made it through the big First Date. You survived the awkward ‘how-to-end-this date’ problem and you still wanted more afterward. You know you want to see this person again, so now you have to do the second date.

 

The second date is often thought of as the make or break date where you decide, once and for all, that this is a person you want to pursue or a person you want to relegate to the friends/acquaintance/other categories.

 

This is your chance to rectify any nervous first impressions with a great second impression. This is an opportunity to find out more about your date, see what they are interested in and discover if they were really being themselves on that first date – you can’t keep an act up for long!

 

Here are Free and Single’s Top 5 Tips for making the second date work for you;

 

1. Make your Second Date Completely Different from your First

If you opted for a dinner and movie combo on your first date, try and get out and about on your second. By breaking away from the usual date scenario, you’ll each be able to act more normally with less pressure on the outcome of the date. It will give you new ground to explore about each other as well – try going for a picnic, ice-skating or for a walk around a zoo.

 

2. If You Organised the First Date, Let Your Date Organise the Second

They got to see your First Date plans in person and that gave them some clues about your character that they clearly liked because they are back for more! However, mix things up and let the other person organise the second date to get a feel for what they think makes a great date and to learn more about them.

 

3. Don’t Play by any Archaic ‘Rules’ – You’ll Just Confuse Each Other

‘The Rules’. We’ve all heard of them, we’ve all bemoaned their stupidity or praised their effectiveness. But at one time or another, we have all sworn not to be the person who plays by those rules any longer. Well, now is the time! If you really, really like someone, waiting three days to call them back isn’t going to win you favours – its just going to give them time to meet someone else and decide you’re not worth the wait.

 

4. Have Open and Honest Lines of Communication from the Beginning

I know – no-one wants to be the person planning their marriage after the first date. However, you are much more likely to have a healthy, happy relationship with someone if you communicate together clearly and honestly. The moment lies, untruths or fibs get involved, things can only ever end one way. Messy. It’s a good rule to have in all your relationships, not just the romantic ones. So if you let a little white lie slip during the First Date (‘I LOVE baseball!) think about correcting yourself during the second date before you find yourself, 3 years down the line saying ‘I Do’ on the pitchers diamond.

 

5. Make an Effort, Just Like You Did for Your First Date

There is no point showing up to your First Date decked out like a glamazon if you’re going to show up to your second in your PJ’s (unless you are attending an oh-so-fashionable pajama party together, of course). Continue to make an effort with your appearance because it feels good to do so and because it shows you respect yourself. Self-esteem is a great aspect of a person and one that potential relationships need in order to survive. So find out what you’ll be doing and dress appropriately.

 

Who has a second date lined up in January? Tell us all about it in the comments, or Tweet us @freeandsingle