Dates

July 23, 2013

Dates: The TV Show – Who’s Been Watching?

Who has seen the TV show Dates?

I started watching Dates in the expectation that it would show couples meeting, give me tips on first date nerves, venues and fashion, and it has to an extent, done just that. However, the show deals with actual real-life scenarios as opposed to the perfect, ‘everything-will-work-out-for-the-best’ Rom-Coms of cinematic fame.

I like the idea of everything working out. I’m a romantic at heart, I like to think everyone will get their happy-ever-after. While many of the characters in Dates do go on to start new relationships, it has yet to be with the person they meet on their date. Instead, the show explores the idea that meeting a new person can help clarify your own purpose in signing up to an internet dating site.

Why Did You Sign Up For Internet Dating?

Have you registered for online dating to ignore a bad break-up? To try and please your family? With hope that you can escape loneliness? Whatever your reasons were for taking the plunge and signing up, Dates shows that that action is just the beginning of your adventure into the dating world.

I think one of the key take-away points from Dates is that one date, one possible match, one person, should not be the be-all and end-all of your dating career. Sure, a lucky 1% may meet their first internet date in person and they’ll both be set for life. How lovely. For the rest of us, it takes work, effort and perseverance. So instead of looking at dating as a second job, desperate to find ‘The One’ and get on with living your life together, try to see dating as a means of meeting new people who just happen to be single.

Yes, there is pressure to deliver on dates. However, if you can ignore that and just have a good time, relax and enjoy finding out about someone you haven’t met before, you never know what you could find. Some you won’t see again. A few may turn out to be good acquaintances in the future. You might even find a new best friend, someone you really connect with but have no special chemistry with.

Embracing opportunity, experiencing new things and opening up to new people all push you just outside of your usual comfort zone and help to create the person you’ll be when you do meet your other half for the first time.

Let this be a Summer of dating and opportunity!

February 22, 2013

Five Fab Ways to Get the Spring Feeling

If you’ve been dating for a while, or even if you’ve just started, the change in seasons always gets us thinking about how to change ourselves, be better and reach our full potential. The gap between seasons is traditionally when people do the most clothes shopping, get their hair cut or invest in new beauty products to see them through the new season.

It’s the same with dating. You want to be the best you can be when you head out on a date. It leaves you confident, filled to the brim with self-esteem and ready for anything – be that a another random blind date or the potential meeting of the love of your life.

Here’s our five top tips for getting the Springtime feeling into your dates. Enjoy!

1) Add more vegetables to your diet. Start adding in more coloured fruit and veg as the produce comes into season and boost your vitamin and mineral counts. This will result in healthier skin, hair and body, you’ll feel 100% better and you’ll be looking good too.

2) Clothing. Dump those dark, dingy tones that took you from work to bar during the rainy season and consign your coat to the back of your wardrobe. Invest in some lighter, brighter new colours, knits and prints to instantly lift your mood and make you feel more optimistic.

3) Have a laugh! Head so a comedy film, or have a great night out with a friend who makes you chuckle. Laughing is proven to boost your mood and make you more attractive to the opposite sex. All that smiling will get your confidence sky high and you’ll be ready for an onslaught of Spring dates in no time!

4) Plan a trip. Now is the time to take advantage of all the early bird offers out there and book a holiday with some friends. It gives you something to look forward to on days when you are not feeling your dating luck is going too well and if you do happen to be heading into a relationship come trip-time, the holiday will give you some time apart to enjoy reconnecting with friends and family.

5) Start exercising. Yes, I know it’s hard to get off the sofa when the evenings are still a little drab and dreary, but think this way: if you had started a new exercise regime in November, you’d be fighting fit now with all the pain behind you and all the gain ready to rock at those Springtime speed dating sessions! So start now and be strutting your stuff on the beach come Summer.

January 23, 2013

Chatting with Potential Dates Online

Here are some of our top tips for getting to know your potential dates online before you take the next step of meeting up on a date.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Talking together should be an enjoyable exchange, a give and take with no one person doing all the talking. Try to make it easier for the conversation to flow by asking open-ended questions like; ‘Where would you like to go travelling?’ rather than; ‘Would you like to go to Rome?’

‘Listen’ and Respond Appropriately

If someone has gone to the time and effort to respond to you, they must be open to getting to know you and vice versa. However, be wary of responding to their message with a list of stuff about you – remember to reply and show interest n what they have said. Try to think about how you would respond if this was a face-to-face conversation instead of an email message.

Don’t Play Hard to Get – You Are On a Dating Site, so be open about what you are looking for

People who go online to find a date and then play hard to get are missing the point – you are on a dating website, clearly you are looking for a date! Be forthright and honest about what you are looking for and if you feel like playing hard to get to put someone off, just let them down gently. No-one likes a player.

Show your Romantic Side

Feel free to share your romantic side with potential dates. It can be easier to talk using messages back and forth, but don’t say anything you wouldn’t be able to back-up in reality. After all, the aim of the game here is to meet someone online that you like enough to want to meet in person!

Be Polite

Always, always be polite. There is no excuse for rude comments, crudeness or crass language. First impressions count and you don’t want to be avoided by potential dates just because you have a potty mouth.

Get Each Other on the Phone so you can Work Out how you React to Each Other in Real Time

After you have exchanged one or two messages, consider exchanging numbers and talking together on the phone. This helps you to get comfortable with the idea of talking to them face-to-face, as well as letting you know if you are conversationally compatible without the aid of a computer.

Good Luck!

December 20, 2012

Free and Single Fun to Have Before the World Ends!

The End is Nigh!

As many of us are by now aware, the World is supposedly set to end tomorrow.

This is according to a reading of a Mayan calendar (one of several interpretations) and has got 1 in 10 UK adults in a bit of a tizzy. The rate is even higher in the USA, where a growing number of ‘survivalists’ have started preparing for the inevitable end of mankind as we know it. In Australia, I’m pretty sure most people are just chilling out on the beach with a stubby.

Various theories have been put forward for the way the world will cease to be, Google’s top 4 options are these;

1. Nuclear Fry-Up

2. Economic Meltdown

3. Alien Invasion

4. Zombie Attack

Of course, if the world does end tomorrow (just in case and all that), you want to go down knowing that you spent your last day on earth having a great time. In fact, not just a great time, but a fantastic time.

Suggestions for a little pre-apocalyptic good time;

Forget feeling nervous or getting rejected – those are emotions people with long-term prospects worry about! Get out there right now and ask someone out. You never know how great the next 24hrs could be.
Certain that blondes have more fun? Head to the hairdressers and bleach your hair! Maybe you fancy some black but your mother always said you could never pull it off. Maybe you want to try the pastel hair colour trend but your job dress code always made that dream a no-no. Do. It. Now.
Tonight is the night for the best date ever – head out of work, check into a salon and glam yourself up, no expense spared. Buy new clothes, try every cocktail in the bar and sample the full tasting menu at an exclusive restaurant. Spend the early hours dancing, hot tubbing on a balcony and buying plane tickets to Pacific Islands. No worries about it being a school-night either.
Feeling certain that the world is going down? Open all your Christmas presents now – after all, people put thought and consideration into those and you want to play with your booty before it goes up in flames.
Stop winking and start talking – send out an introductory note to everyone you like on Free and Single. You never know, the devil-may-care attitude may just result in connections made people you would never have had the courage to message before. If the world doesn’t end? You will be so glad you pressed ‘send’.

November 13, 2012

The Countdown to Christmas as a Free and Single – 5 Great Dates

I’m calling it. We are officially on the countdown to Christmas now. The window displays are up, the shopping offers are everywhere and a house on my road has been liberally draped in LEDs.

This is the time of year to get caught up in the spirit of things. Kiss someone under the mistletoe, gift a flirty secret santa to your office crush and take a date out for some seasonal fun.

Lacking inspiration? Feeling drained after a long year? No fear, Free and Single is here to spark some ideas for fabulous Christmas themed dates, whether this is your first meet-up or you’ve been dating for a while now, try one of these and let us know how it goes.

Office Party

Now, this is strictly for those who have been dating for a little while – you need the trust that your date isn’t going to wind up drunk and dancing on the table, as it will reflect badly on you. Professional Free and Single‘s, this could be a great way to both network and enjoy an evening together. Multi-functioning date, I like it.

Carol Singing

Whether you can hold a tune or not, a bit of traditional carol singing for a good cause can only ever be a good thing. Trust me. Wrap up warm in your most fetching hat and mittens, grab a bucket and go ye forth and sing! If nothing else, you should get some mince pies and a giggle or two out of it. A great bonding date that our Cuddly Free and Single‘s particularly like.

Ice rink

Grab your skates! Pack some extra socks and work on getting that oh-so-cute pink flush in your cheeks while dancing on ice. Our Fit Free and Singles will love having a competition between each other to learn new moves – backward skating anyone? There are loads of beautiful outdoor rinks around the UK and USA this time of year.

Tasting the Xmas Menu

One for our fantastic Mature Free and Singles! These weeks before Christmas, every single restaurant is putting on the ritz and crackers to show you a good time and produce a seasonally inspired menu. Why not book in for a quiet weekday evening and sample the delights the kitchen comes up with?

Mince Pies and Mulled Wine

If you are one of our Free and Single Parents, you are probably gearing up for some serious Christmas madness as your kids ramp up the excitement levels. Take a time out from planning holiday activities and present shopping, sit the kids in front of a classic movie (We like Mary Poppins, An American Tale and Home Alone) and chill out together with a warmed mince pie and mulled wine. Bliss.

November 1, 2012

10 Brilliant Outfits to Wear and the Free and Single Dates that go with them

Scuba Diving

Try this on for size – a full length wetsuit in fashionable black neoprene with go faster flashes of blue. Wap on your shocking orange rubber flippers and a fetching pink snorkel set and check in to your local PADI Divers school to learn how to breathe underwater and explore the oceans like a fish. Perfect for Fit Free and Singles.

Zoo keeper

Ready for a walk on the wild side? Why not treat your date to the ultimate in day out activities by booking yourselves in for a day as a zoo keeper. Grab your safari suit, floppy hat and desert boots (maybe pop some rubber gloves in your bag) and off you go. Picking up poo has never been so attractive as when it belongs to an angry tiger! Perfect for Young Free and Singles.

Cabaret evening

Feeling a tad naughty after the Summer sensation that was ‘5o Shades of Grey’? Why not grab your significant other, don some sequinned nipple tassels and French knickers (maybe put more clothes over the top, but it’s up to you) and head to a theatre club (like Proud in London or Brighton) for a light supper and a bit of burlesque action? Perfect for our XXX Free and Single Members.

Sensory Experience Restaurant

Bored with the same old dinner date scene? Do you get a bit nervous meeting new people? This version of dating will rock your socks! Head to a sensory restaurant (such as Dans Le Noir in London) and enjoy your companions company over a delicious dinner…in the pitch black. Wear your pajamas for all your date will notice, although I’d advise dark colours in case you spill soup all over yourself. Perfect for Divorced Free and Singles.

Go Ape

Like to monkey around with a new date? Harness up and take it to the treetops with one of the Go Ape franchises. Wear tracksuit trousers, trainers and a fleece and then don your climbing gear to scramble around platforms and rope swings high up in the canopies of some of the UK’s best woodlands. Perfect for Free and Single Parents who can take their sprogs along to join in the fun.

Venice Carnival

Got some cash to burn on your date? Why not go all out and fly to Venice for the Mardi Gras carnival? Hire (or commission) some sumptuous traditional gowns and suits and on no account forget the matching masks. Parade around the city on romantic gondalas and sip wine from goblets in St Peter’s Square. Perfect for our Wealthy Free and Singles.

Horse trekking

Get out of the office and into nature by hiring out a horse for a hack. Saddle up and don your riding boots, hard helmet, tweed jacket and tan jodhpurs for a ride about the countryside with your date. Maybe pack a picnic too? Perfect for our Professional Free and Singles.

Dinner at a swanky hotel

Do you enjoy getting to know one another over a candlelight dinner by a top chef? Why not dress up in your finest (I’m thinking channel Vivienne Westwood-style tailored evening gowns and Savile Row-style suits), head into the city and choose your destination dinner. Perfect for our Cuddly Free and Singles.

Salsa dancing

Fancy a turn on the dance floor? Ready to get up close and personal with your partner? Why not try a dating dance lesson for some unexpected fun and you never know – you might just discover a new talent! For the ladies; wear swishy skirts in hot colours and low heeled shoes with an ankle strap. Gents; don a fitted shirt (v-neck optional) and smart trousers. Perfect for our Mature Free and Singles.

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Splash out on a special occasion with a ride through the skies! Wrap up warm in jumpers, coats, hats and boots so you stay toasty while floating through the clouds in your air balloon. Men and women alike, remember your leather gloves – wouldn’t want that flute of champagne to fall out of your grip now, would we? Perfect for all our Free and Single daters!

October 25, 2012

Keeping the Love Alive – Date Ideas for Spicing Up your Relationship

Here at Free and Single, we know that while the first part of a relationship is fun, nerve-wracking and exciting, as you mellow past the first year or so you can start to grow complacent. You might start taking your partner for granted or under appreciating them just a little bit.

It doesn’t have to be that way!

The moment you realise you are guilty of not sharing a kiss with your partner on your way out the door in the morning, or that you haven’t told your partner something nice in the last 24 hrs is the moment you switch on your PC, flick back to this (book marked!) blog post and start reading for tips of how to reignite the flame!

Free and Single’s Top ‘Date Night’ Tips for Couples

1. Organise time to spend with each other

It doesn’t have to be fancy restaurants or swanky mini-break trips (although, don’t get me wrong, those are mighty fine ideas!) but just put aside some time each week where you will spend some one-on-one time together – no TV distractions, no wailing children, no work overtime and not a single break to check emails. Check out our ideas for great dates here.

2. Make an effort

Remember how you used to preen before a date, but now you just grab any old hoodie before you head out? I’m not saying rush out and buy a new wardrobe, but think about how good it feels to have your partner stop in their tracks and mouth ‘Wow!’ as they see you. Just sayin’. Want to know what we recommend for that first date feeling? Have a look here.

3. Think of something you know they like

You have a head-start on your first date self here – you already know exactly what floats your partner’s metaphorical boat! You can actually organise their most perfect date, simply because you already know what it is. From a picnic by the penguin enclosure at the zoo to bombing it down a mountain on bikes, there is no need to play it safe with the archtypal dinner-and-a-movie combo – unless that is what they really, really love.

What are your top tips for keeping the love as your relationship progresses? Do you have more tips on finding ‘The One’ and what happens in the Happily Ever After? Let us know in the comments!

October 18, 2012

5 Awesome Date Ideas to try out This Weekend

Sometimes, the pressure of creating a great first impression creates something I’m going to call ‘Dater’s Block’. You know that you have some great dates in you, but you just cannot actually get them together. You don’t know where to start and then all your creativity abandons you and you are left taking you date to another dinner and a movie evening. Oh, the originality.

Free and Single to the rescue! We’ve had a think and come up with five brilliant ideas for first dates right up to date nights when you are already in a relationship. Let us know what you think and tell us any more date ideas you’ve had in the comments!

5 Great Date Ideas for our Free and Single Online Daters!

Visit a big Zoo and make a day trip of it – you’ll be walking around together, with a constant stream of new conversation starters should you be worried about what to talk about and no-one can fail to be entertained by penguins, intrigued by reptiles and adoring of the monkeys antics.
Why not hire a cool car (I’m thinking drop top if its sunny and monster 4×4 if its been raining) and go for a drive to a good pub for lunch? Feel the wind in your hair and pretend you’re both 40s movie stars or else bang on your wellies and go for a spin on a muddy cross country track.
Try a treasure hunt. Decide on an end location (we like the sound of a boutique coffee bar or maybe an exhibition your date has expressed an interest in) and leave behind clues for your date to work out where they should meet you.
Get down to your local leisure centre (stay with me here, I know it is not the usual location for a date!) and hire a table tennis table. Start a mini tournament between yourself and your date, add in prizes and forfeits and have a good old giggle at each others cross serves.
Join an outdoor tai chi class in a big public park and keep a straight face. Help each other out and take the opportunity to learn something new and chill out. Afterward, you can go for a virtuous lunch at a salad bar or hike over to a doughnut shop and mainline a sugar glazed triple chocolate filled deep fried delight.

Have fun on your dates! Let us know how they went in the comments!

March 5, 2012

Commence the Search! But are you looking in the right places?

So there you are, hiking up hill and down dale, backpack pulling you down but motivation driving you on towards the next hill…and there, as you crest the top of the ridge and look down into the valley beyond, you spy an entire village of hot single men. Err, yeah right. But seriously now, do you have a passion for fitness, but lack someone to share those early morning training sessions with?

Fit Free and Single specialises in bringing together singles who share a love of the active life, who are dynamic and sporty. Love the outdoors? After all, there is no point looking among singles whose favourite occupation is watching Big Brother to find a date you’ll actually want to talk to. Sign up for free today to start chatting to fellow fitness enthusiasts and maybe you’ll even get a date out of it!

The principle is the same for any dater – why change yourself to get a date? The date will be atrociously boring if you hate maths but opposite you is a chaos theorist eager to explain their day’s work in the labs. Think about what you want from dating, be it fun evenings and getting to know new people or possibly a longer lasting relationship. Then, think about what you like. I’m not talking picky ‘Must have raven-dark hair’ or ‘Only if they love ice hockey’, I’m talking the simple things.

Do you have a passion for reading? Probably best to ignore someone who enjoys burning books. Love dinosaurs? Don’t date a creationist.

Be flexible as well, you never know what a new person could bring to your metaphorical table – they could introduce you to a whole new world you never even knew existed. Try a different restaurant, be open to the idea of experiencing new things – dating should be about mutual discovery, so relinquish the absolute control over exactly how a date should play out. (You know what I’m talking about. No ditching a date just because he brought you pink peonies instead of purple geraniums).

Have a think. What do you yourself bring to a date that might attract someone? Do you just show up (hopefully clean and enthusiastic) expecting to be entertained, or do you give some thought to conversation topics, activities you could do together and use your profile perusal time to your advantage?

After all, the most powerful part of online dating is the ability to skip the awkward initial phase of discovering if there is anything you can talk about. You can look over their profile, exchange messages and decide if there is a spark of interest before having to worry that you haven’t brushed your teeth since breakfast, or that the shirt you are wearing has ketchup stains. Let the profile be to your advantage. Search out someone with a few common interests or features and then even if there is no chemistry when you meet, you’ll still have something to talk about and maybe even become friends, if not more.

February 12, 2012

Valentine’s Day Dates with a Difference

LONDON

Get yer jim jams on and head to 40 Winks on Mile End road for some seriously saucy bedtime stories. Celebrate Valentine’s with stories of ‘Love, Lust and Longing’ and chuckle at everyone in their sleeping gear.

MANCHESTER

Pop along to Barburrito on Piccadilly Gardens for dinner and take turns creating burritos for each other. I’d say go with the hot sauce every time, but you might want to check allergies before you go piling peanuts on top of everything.

BRIGHTON

What is better than a trip to the Pier to inspire teenage memories of dates gone by? Compare notes with your date about terrible teenage mishaps while zooming backwards on a G-force ride. Steady your stomachs after with fish and chips on the beach – preferably, in the rain.

EDINBURGH

If you fancy a bit of an electrical-speakeasy vibe, meet your date at Cabaret Voltaire on Blair Street on the 13^th, then spend VDay itself dissecting every little bit of the indie-folk-rock band, Chasing Owls.

DUBLIN

Enjoy a sophisticated teatime treat at the Cake Cafe on Camden Street, with a plate of delightful home baked cake and a glass of bubbles. From your vantage point, you’ll be able watch all the men dashing around looking terrified, trying to remember whether their girlfriends and wives said they liked getting chocolate as a present.

BIRMINGHAM

Grab your date and head to the Bullring, put aside £10 each and challenge yourselves to find the worst Valentine’s themed item in the place. You have 30 minutes to search, then meet up for coffee, exchanging your ‘gifts’ and sharing the tales of your adventure.

EXETER

Treat your date to an Exeter Red Coat Guided Tour exploring the Ghosts and Legends of the city. Wrap up warm for the tour then make up for all the calories lost in the adrenaline of being in the city at night surrounded by scary stories by chowing down on some hot street food like pancakes or noodles.

CANTERBURY

Get yourself and your date to the brand new Marlowe Theatre for a DJ Workshop and spend the day mixing tunes and premièring your beat at the end of the day. Once you have finished storming the charts you can stroll down the High Street and enjoy any number of delicious pubs and restaurants – check down the side alleys for the really good stuff.

CAMBRIDGE

Feeling romantic? Take your date to the shores of the River Cam and hire a punt. Languidly float through the waters cuddled up together under a blanket, with a thermos of soup and some fresh bakery bread. While roaming the river, you can discuss such serious topics as the meaning of life, where babies come from and why X-Factor is still going for another series.

LIVERPOOL

Pop out of the city towards the Wirral and spend the day surveying the farmshops and noshing down on as many free samples as you can get your sticky mitts on. Take turns delving into conversation with the vendors and decide on choice foodstuffs to take home and picnic on later.