Looking forward to 2013 inevitably encourages us to look back over the last year and put our actions (or lack of) into sharp perspective. ‘What ifs?’, ‘Why didn’t I’s?’ and ‘I should have’s’ litter our thoughts.
Sure, it is easy enough to say we’ll do it all differently in 2013 – that this is the year we will work-out instead of sitting on the couch watching Homeland, this is the time for us to buy a house, go on dazzling holidays, impress the boss, find a love…
How about then, instead of just saying we will do these things, instead of just meaning to but never quite getting round to doing them, how about we try not to force grand outcomes but to work towards them as part of our everyday lives?
Looking for Love
We all look for love, one way or another. The search for someone to support us, cherish us, laugh with us and adore us is one that many people embark on every year. Often, as the result of a resolution not to be the only single one at a friend’s wedding or to be able to return home on a blustery, cold winter day to the waiting arms of someone who actually cares, instead of just re-runs of Friends.
However, these things tend not to just happen. In order for them to occur, you have to go out into the world instead of hiding away and you have to live your life and embrace opportunities. Otherwise, you will never move beyond your immediate circle of friends and family and there is no-one you want to date there (unless there is, in which case, NYE is the time to admit it. Then if all goes badly you can brush it off as end-of-year sentimentality and move on accordingly).
So make a promise to yourself this coming New Year. Instead of making a resolution you know you won’t keep past February, plan a goal that you want to see happen. Then plan lots of small steps on how you plan to make it happen. Schedule the step sin your diary and tick them off, one by one as you achieve them. Don’t be scared to give yourself a treat when you do either – bribery is an excellent way of convincing yourself to do something scary.
To achieve a goal of meeting someone special, here are some steps I’m a fan of;
- Getting a new, flattering haircut and tips from the stylist on how to do it myself.
- Planning a new experience once a month with friends – a day at a rifle range, a go-ape adventure, a wine-tasting tour, an evening in watching a foreign indie movie…
- Smiling at people when I pass them in the street.
- Popping to the pub once a week and spending some time at the bar talking to people. (Try a compliment or ask for a recommendation as an opening gambit).
- Asking friends if they know anyone they think I might like and getting them to set us up.
Have a great New Year’s Eve and we’ll see you back for more online dating tips and advice in 2013!