messaging

Here are some of our top tips for getting to know your potential dates online before you take the next step of meeting up on a date.

 

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Talking together should be an enjoyable exchange, a give and take with no one person doing all the talking. Try to make it easier for the conversation to flow by asking open-ended questions like; ‘Where would you like to go travelling?’ rather than; ‘Would you like to go to Rome?’

 

‘Listen’ and Respond Appropriately

If someone has gone to the time and effort to respond to you, they must be open to getting to know you and vice versa. However, be wary of responding to their message with a list of stuff about you – remember to reply and show interest n what they have said. Try to think about how you would respond if this was a face-to-face conversation instead of an email message.

 

Don’t Play Hard to Get – You Are On a Dating Site, so be open about what you are looking for

People who go online to find a date and then play hard to get are missing the point – you are on a dating website, clearly you are looking for a date! Be forthright and honest about what you are looking for and if you feel like playing hard to get to put someone off, just let them down gently.  No-one likes a player.

 

Show your Romantic Side

Feel free to share your romantic side with potential dates. It can be easier to talk using messages back and forth, but don’t say anything you wouldn’t be able to back-up in reality. After all, the aim of the game here is to meet someone online that you like enough to want to meet in person!

 

Be Polite

Always, always be polite. There is no excuse for rude comments, crudeness or crass language. First impressions count and you don’t want to be avoided by potential dates just because you have a potty mouth.

 

Get Each Other on the Phone so you can Work Out how you React to Each Other in Real Time

After you have exchanged one or two messages, consider exchanging numbers and talking together on the phone. This helps you to get comfortable with the idea of talking to them face-to-face, as well as letting you know if you are conversationally compatible without the aid of a computer.

 

Good Luck!

Make your online dating turn into a success story!

 

What do you think is a sure fire way to get someone's attention and a date?

When you finally take the chance and message that special someone you have noticed on one of the Free and Single sites, you want to leave an impression – a good one, favourably. So what to write? This is the internet equivalent of walking up to someone in the street and asking them their name and number after all.

 

It can be tricky to think of something, after all you want them to respond and not instantly hit delete or get the wrong impression about you and your purpose in messaging. Not only that, you want to appear witty, understanding, clever and fun. Maybe you want to add in some information you gleaned from their profile in order to show how well you paid attention…but not so much it looks like you creepily stalked them and memorised all their likes and dislikes.

 

It’s a minefield of misinterpretation and innuendo. What to say, what to do, not to mention how to keep up your chilled, confident and comedic genius should they actually reply – then you will have to write a second message. What if it goes on from there? You might find yourself desperately rehearsing lines the night before your first date, so as to appear the same nonchalantly witty person they glimpsed in the first message. Oh god. What if you get married and they finally work out that the smooth, hilarious, considerate you was all an elaborate ruse?!

 

Okay. Calm down. Breathe. It is the same advice you always hear from me – be yourself. The little bad dream scenario you just had? It wouldn’t occur if you just started out being yourself anyway. Sure, take a little time to think over a good opening message, but don’t have a panic attack about it – it won’t define your life, whether you get together or not.

 

Think about what you want to happen and engineer your message accordingly:

  • Do you just want a reply?
  • Do you want to work towards a skype or telephone conversation?
  • Maybe you are really convinced this could be something and you want to try for a face to face first date straight away?
  • Think through the ideal repercussions of your message and write.
  • Keep it to the point, don’t start rambling.
  • Say what you feel.

Unlike randomly asking someone out in the street, at least online if it all goes horribly wrong and they blank your message you can recover in your own time and move on, no hurt, no foul. It could be embarrassing, but at the end of the day – no-one else saw. You’re fine. You survive to write another message, another day.

Good luck!