When we are little, we see that everything in the world comes in pairs. We hear stories about Princesses finding their Princes (or usually being found by them, up a tower or about to become dragon chow). We attend weddings where two people are joined together.


Later on in life, as teenagers, we might date a few people either seriously or not. The world seems full of possibilities and you don’t want to get ‘tied down’. You flirt with potentials, you make friends easily and you experience what life has to offer.


A bit older still and you start to value the idea of having another person in your life. Someone you can talk to, who makes you laugh and who will always be ready to share a cup of tea with at the end of a long, hard day. Someone who lights up when they see you, who holds your hand, who knows just what to get you for your birthday.


This person is shaped by the views of ‘togetherness’ that we are exposed to over our lives. Ladies expect a modern-day Prince Charming, with a feminist slant, a love of handiwork, chivalry and the ability to put the toilet seat down. Men expect a sexy conversationalist they can have  a good time with, who cooks a mean Sunday Roast and forgives the odd damp towel on the floor.


The thing is, you never know who will be perfect for you. On paper, a person can seem like the ultimate match made in heaven – but in practice the spark fizzles and never quite catches alight. The key to the ‘Search for a Soulmate’ is to, in fact, not search at all. Let it happen naturally.


The best thing to do is reach a place where you are happy with yourself (for after all, if you don’t love yourself, how can somebody else?) and where you can accept the possibility of another person entering into your life. Sure, do things to help it along – but your first goal should be in making yourself happy. Buy some new outfits or get a haircut – for your benefit. Try out some of those activities you have always thought about doing but never quite got around to – see which ones make you happy. Fill in an online dating profile, but don’t obsess over it ever waking minute.


You’ll be surprised. One day, you’ll get back from your fencing class, or pottery exhibition or just a night out with your friends and you’ll log on and see someone has winked at you. Someone nice. Someone who would like to meet you for lunch. Someone with whom you will share that spark.