Before and After – Does Appearance Matter when Online Dating?

I’m holding an impromptu survey – right here, right now. Hands up who meets more people when you leave the house having made an effort with your appearance vs. leaving the house to grab some milk or walk the dog with zero effort?


I’m intrigued to discover if this is a phenomenon that occurs only to me. If I select a nice outfit, slick on some make-up, do something with my hair – all confidence boosting manouvres that should help make me more attractive to the opposite sex – then I will see no-one I know, meet no-one new and probably sigh over the wasted effort when I return home.



However, if I slink out the doors at 10am, in jeans and a coat thrown over my hoodie, not a scrap of make-up to be seen and hair that hasn’t been introduced to a brush in over 24 hours, hoping against hope that I won’t run into anyone I know while I pop out to get some fresh milk I will, inevitably run into my neighbour, the postman, that person I vaguely know from down the street and the hottest member of the opposite sex for a ten mile radius.


How does this happen? What bizarre cosmic force is at work to ensure that I have to do most of my social nods and hello’s from the position of ‘person-who-clearly-doesn’t care’? Is this the secret trick to attracting attention?



I want to know whether this runs true for anyone else. I have been given more phone numbers and flirty looks after a bad nights sleep – when I have huge circles under my eyes and straggly hair and am just out to get a fruit smoothie in the hope it will banish my headache – than any time when I have actually been prepared and willing to engage in intelligent conversation with other people. Does this happen to you?


Anyway, the reason I bring my plight to your attention, other than to discover whether it is an affliction that affects myself alone, is to draw your attention to the wonder of online dating. You can channel all that pajama’ed wit and charisma into chatty messages, saucy winks and happy date-hunting while clad in yesterday’s gardening clothes and no-one will ever know. They’ll see your pictures, showing you in a variety of guises. Try for a natural (in good light), a glammed up version of yourself having a good time and a properly posed picture taken somewhere you love (so you radiate happiness).



Those pictures between them will attract all sort of different people to look at your online dating profile. There, they can discover more about you, suss whether your interests mesh in any way and choose to find out more. That’s when the PJ Effect will kick in – they will message you and you can switch on your clearly¬†irresistible two-day-old hair charm. After being on fine flirting form, you’ll have easily winnowed out potential dates from those you just don’t have a rapport with.


Then comes the good stuff – getting ready for the first date. Just don’t maintain the day-old socks styling for that. You’ve already broken the ice online with your glittering PJ Effect persona, ¬†so feel free to now wow them with your lovely looks and some more nervous chatter. If they are the right person for you, you’ll switch into comfortable mode soon enough, even if you are wearing lipstick.