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It’s coming round to that time of year again, folks…

 

The temperature is dropping (or in some cases, rising – you know what I’m talking about!) and ideas of a good time are turning to sharing mulled cider with your beloved, snuggling in front of a log fire together or getting out and about to visit friends and family during the holiday season.

 

What if you find yourself single during this time though? If you want to add a flirtation, a romance or a relationship to your Winter wish-list, join Free and Single today and get on your way to making it happen!

 

Our Guide to Fashion for Great First Impressions when Online Dating

 

Here’s round-up of our fashion and what to wear dating articles so that you can be dressed to impress on all your dates and upcoming parties!

 

The Dating Expert: ‘What Should I Wear on my Date?’

 

How to Dress for a Super Hot Date (This one’s for you, Aussie guys ‘n’ gals!)

 

Before and After: Does Appearance Matter when Online Dating?

 

10 Brilliant Outfits to Wear and the Dates that go with them

 

Dating Help: What Should I Wear?

 

Guide to First Date Outfits

 

Dressing for Your Date: Tips and Pointers

 

Merry Christmas from Free and Single!

 

How is everyone’s day going so far? Hopefully you got a lie-in, some snow and are about to tuck in to a tasty festive breakfast.

 

Here are our Five Festive Top Tips for Sharing Christmas for the First Time:

 

1. Share your Christmas traditions. You can incorporate each others usual Christmas day routine while adding some new twists to be shared just between the two of you. Try some new side dishes along with your main meal or spend half the day in your PJs and half in your fancy clothes.

 

2. If you are spending the day with your partner’s family, make sure you pre-schedule some alone time to get your bearings and relax a little in between the rounds of conversational gambits and questioning.

 

3. Take a time out to phone your family or friends to swap greetings in the morning while you each get ready for the big day, to prevent you from feeling like you left a usual activity unfulfilled.

 

4. If you have any dietary requirements or major menu traditions that differ slightly from the traditional, make sure you have back-up options in place to avoid dismayed looks when your partner announces to your mother ‘Sorry, I don’t eat turkey. I’m a vegetarian.’

 

5. If you don’t actually celebrate Christmas, but your new partner does, decide how you feel about being involved and feel free to join in the non-religious aspects of the day and discuss them doing the same for your special festival days.

 

Here’s to a great day, lots of food and some fun times.

Have a good one everyone.

I don’t think there is a single person out there who can sashay forth, confident and glorious to every date they go on.

 

At some point, you will feel nervous. This can be compounded by the need to feel you are not wasting your time and the hope that this could be the start of your very own fairy tale.

 

Here are the Free and Single Top Tips for the first date you go on (when you are secretly on a mission to find ‘The One’.)

 

 

1. Don’t Immediately Write Them Off

 

Take the pressure off immediately being struck by the love bug and search for things in common – look to whether you would hang out with this person as a friend, don’t write them off instantly because you had your head set on tall, dark and handsome because your heart may ultimately prefer blondes!

 

2. Seize the Day!

 

Live in the moment! Having plucked up the courage to actually set up an internet dating profile, ‘wink’, message and organise a date, don’t then spend the whole time fast-forwarding to a possible future scenario or thinking about tomorrow’s to-do list. Stay in the moment and really listen to the other person, get to know them and enjoy yourself.

 

3. Feel Good before you Go

 

Regardless of your principles on vanity, make an effort before your date. First off, it’s nice to know you care enough to want to make a good first impression. Knowing you look great and feel like the best you can be can really help your confidence and help you remain calm during the date. Once you have relaxed, you can concentrate on just being yourself and talking to the other person, instead of fussing about what you are wearing or why your hair frizzed up in the rain.

 

Check out our Ten Things to Remember on a First Date for some more advice!

 

Your first date is mere hours away and you are a bag of nerves. ‘What ifs?’ run through your head, scenarios good and bad have you packing your bag with everything from spare lipstick to bandages. You know, just in case. Well, I have narrowed down the list of things you have to worry about by graciously removing at least ten things, leaving you with time enough to pile the contents of your wardrobe on the bed. Without further ado then, here are ten things to remember for your first date.

 

 

 

 

  1.  If you are in charge of organising the date, then have a think about it to make it relevant. You don’t want to be the person who takes a different date to the same restaurant every Friday night. Think of what you know about your date already and try to include these details into your planning. Know they love penguins? Why not surprise them with a trip to the zoo. Did their profile mention how much they adore chocolate? A trip to a chocolate factory with a pre-arranged tour could be your ticket to an excellent first impression and a great date as well! Always make a back-up plan – nothing says thoughtful like running from a soggy picnic in the park to reserved tables at a good restaurant in town.Give some thought to your date and always have a back-up plan!
  2. When it comes to getting ready for your date, one thing is paramount: wear simple, comfortable clothing that suits you. You want to make a good impression, so don’t choose this moment to wander far from your comfort zone and get a green mohican to appear more ‘cool’. Make sure you approach your date with an open mind and try not to fixate on tall, dark and handsome. Might be you have a thing for blondes you just never knew about.First impressions count...but stay in your comfort zone
  3. Having finally arrived at the crucial moment when you meet, possibly for the first time, pay attention to your date! This is not the time to become self-absorbed. Pay them a genuine compliment and show you appreciate the effort they have made for you. Try not to be so nervous you whip out a generic, ‘You look nice.’ Maybe even pre-prepare some compliments specially, to calm your flummoxed mind.Pay attention to your date!
  4. Listen to your date when they are talking! Try not to dominate the conversation, you want a good back and forth to get started. Ask questions about them. Have a few conversational gambits up your sleeves in case of lulls. Make sure you are up to date on current events so if all else fails you can discuss the economy intelligently.Listen. Ask questions. Your date doesn't want a monologue about your life right now.
  5. Try to keep yourself in the moment, enjoying the date. Reminiscing about the last relationship you were in or comparing your current date to an old paramour is the fastest way to ensure there is never a second date.Try to relax and enjoy your date, not plan tomorrow's grocery list
  6. Whatever you do, avoid your mobile phone. Everyone is onto the old ‘family emergency’ get out clause by now and responding ‘for work reasons’ is a terrible excuse. Give your date your full attention. Leave your phone on silent or vibrate, have it fully charged certainly for safety reasons, but don’t answer it or text while you are with your date. It is just plain rude.There is a reason it is called 'face-to-face' interaction. Put your phone away.
  7. There is no way to say this one lightly: don’t come on too strong. Even if you just woke up from a nightmare where you were the last person on Earth, alone forever and you believe this to be a portent there is absolutely no need to share this foreboding with your date. You will freak them out and put extra pressure on the outcome of your first date. Dating is meant to be fun people, not an audition for marriage or parenthood!First dates are no the place to discuss your future kids names and college plans
  8. Stay positive and show your good humour and relaxed nature. Treat others as you would wish to be treated. Shouting at the waiter doesn’t impress anyone, it just makes you look like a bully. No-one likes a bully.Treat others as you would wish to be treated
  9. Ah, the age-old who-pays-for-what issue. Here’s a solution: whoever initiated the date offers to pay. The other can offer to purchase the next thing, like going onto a bar for a drink or meeting up next week for coffee. Alternate paying can help you raise the awkward point of a second date, without appearing pushy. Make sure you carry some cash on you as well, in case you end up paying for your half or your cab home – or just in case the place you’re at doesn’t have a card reader.Money can be tricky, don't let it ruin your date
  10. Stay safe. Make sure you don’t drink too much. If you need to calm your nerves take deep breathes not shots of whisky. Let a friend know where you are and tell them to expect your call at the end of the date so someone knows where you are. If you feel uncomfortable with the way the date is progressing, either bring it up or leave. Stay in a public place and be cautious. If they are a nice person they won’t mind you taking precautions for your safety.Stay safe. Dutch courage is traditionally taken in small amounts...
Have a good time and remember, above all, to just relax and have fun!

What do you think is a sure fire way to get someone's attention and a date?

When you finally take the chance and message that special someone you have noticed on one of the Free and Single sites, you want to leave an impression – a good one, favourably. So what to write? This is the internet equivalent of walking up to someone in the street and asking them their name and number after all.

 

It can be tricky to think of something, after all you want them to respond and not instantly hit delete or get the wrong impression about you and your purpose in messaging. Not only that, you want to appear witty, understanding, clever and fun. Maybe you want to add in some information you gleaned from their profile in order to show how well you paid attention…but not so much it looks like you creepily stalked them and memorised all their likes and dislikes.

 

It’s a minefield of misinterpretation and innuendo. What to say, what to do, not to mention how to keep up your chilled, confident and comedic genius should they actually reply – then you will have to write a second message. What if it goes on from there? You might find yourself desperately rehearsing lines the night before your first date, so as to appear the same nonchalantly witty person they glimpsed in the first message. Oh god. What if you get married and they finally work out that the smooth, hilarious, considerate you was all an elaborate ruse?!

 

Okay. Calm down. Breathe. It is the same advice you always hear from me – be yourself. The little bad dream scenario you just had? It wouldn’t occur if you just started out being yourself anyway. Sure, take a little time to think over a good opening message, but don’t have a panic attack about it – it won’t define your life, whether you get together or not.

 

Think about what you want to happen and engineer your message accordingly:

  • Do you just want a reply?
  • Do you want to work towards a skype or telephone conversation?
  • Maybe you are really convinced this could be something and you want to try for a face to face first date straight away?
  • Think through the ideal repercussions of your message and write.
  • Keep it to the point, don’t start rambling.
  • Say what you feel.

Unlike randomly asking someone out in the street, at least online if it all goes horribly wrong and they blank your message you can recover in your own time and move on, no hurt, no foul. It could be embarrassing, but at the end of the day – no-one else saw. You’re fine. You survive to write another message, another day.

Good luck!

Do you have a signature dish you can whip up and impress with?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You may have been dating a while now, or you may just want to turn up to your first date with a home baked offering to help ease the first impression to fully favourable. Either way, you want to make sure that the choices you make go down as intended.

 

First off, make sure there are no allergies or dietary requirements such as vegetarianism!  No point making your famous peanut butter and chocolate brownies if your date has a fatal allergy to nuts.

 

Picnic

 

The classic image here is of rural elegance balanced with a certain practicality. After all, at some point this food has to be lugged to your patch of grass. Once your blanket is spread and you are ready to chow down on your delectable lunch, you want the great reveal to be tasty looking and not pale sandwiches with jam smeared around the plastic they are encased in. Choose simple basics, good quality and bring wet wipes. Personal favourites would include: marinated olives, flatbreads or farls, humus and other dips (securely packaged!), crudités and a chunky salad with veggies, grains and beans. Lastly get the whole thing off to a flying start by going with a cheese and a selection of cold meats or quiche.

 

Home Dinner

 

Okay, first things first. Make sure your house is clean. Nothing ruins the aura of a well-cooked homemade meal than a funk of mess! Once you have tidied and hovered, down to the menu. Choose something you can prepare the day before to give you time to fuss over other things on the night. It can be good to choose a theme such as Mexican, Spanish or Greek to keep you focused when finding recipes and putting together courses. Put thought into all aspects of the dinner, not just the food – tableware and setting, lighting and music all help to set the scene for a really lovely meal.

 

Cake

 

Now, this depends on your own baking ability and the occasion. If you want to present a basket of mini muffins Bree-from-Desperate-Housewives stylee as you walk through the door, this can be solved by just following the appropriate recipe to the letter. This is very important – baking is a science. Use measuring instruments and the specified ingredients to get it right and it will go off without a hitch. If you are looking to do a more impressively decorated cake, well…don’t aim higher than your abilities or it will go wrong. Stick to what you know, or practise beforehand to get a good result.

So, you have a date. The venue is decided, the time is set, now remains the question…what to wear? First impressions count and once made, cannot be undone so this question is rightly one that strikes fear into the heart of daters everywhere, man or women (but especially women).The most important thing to consider is comfort. Obviously, you don’t want to rock up to your date in your PJ’s (unless you are going to some mad, night-time themed rave, in which case that would be a nifty outfit choice) but pouring yourself into the skinniest jeans you can find – and this goes for man or woman – just because it is a trendy choice would be wrong. So very, very wrong. Comfort shows in your stance, in your baring and will make your whole date less nerve-wracking.

 

Next to consider is what you plan to do on your date. No use buying a stunning dress to wear if you are off to the beach for a surfing lesson. Obviously, you want to look good for that first meeting, but at the end of the day you will feel silly for the entire duration and a good long time after if you are unable to enjoy the date because you wore something entirely unsuitable. If the date venue is a surprise, ask for a dress code from your date organiser.

 

With comfort and practicality sorted out, you are then free to fully express yourself. After all, the practice of dating is to find out if you and the other person like each other and feel a spark – no point dressing head to toe in pink to impress someone whose profile says they love the colour if you hate it with a passion. They will forever after assume you like pink as much as they do and you will ruin any real chance of connecting.

 

While expressing yourself however, it can sometimes be a good idea to reign back a little and let them get to know you before you hit them with your penchant for wearing a Mohican made of forks to 5-star restaurants. Self-Expression is all very well, but it is often unnerving in those we don’t know very well or at all and the last thing you want to do is scare off someone you really like just because they weren’t prepared for all the intrigued stares that come from wearing a purple top hat to the local spa. Thereby, make it your mission to put your date at ease and make them comfortable. Apart from anything else, concentrating on another person’s wishes is a surefire way to win a second date and stop your own nerves in their tracks!