Dating Advice

Merry Christmas from Free and Single!


How is everyone’s day going so far? Hopefully you got a lie-in, some snow and are about to tuck in to a tasty festive breakfast.


Here are our Five Festive Top Tips for Sharing Christmas for the First Time:


1. Share your Christmas traditions. You can incorporate each others usual Christmas day routine while adding some new twists to be shared just between the two of you. Try some new side dishes along with your main meal or spend half the day in your PJs and half in your fancy clothes.


2. If you are spending the day with your partner’s family, make sure you pre-schedule some alone time to get your bearings and relax a little in between the rounds of conversational gambits and questioning.


3. Take a time out to phone your family or friends to swap greetings in the morning while you each get ready for the big day, to prevent you from feeling like you left a usual activity unfulfilled.


4. If you have any dietary requirements or major menu traditions that differ slightly from the traditional, make sure you have back-up options in place to avoid dismayed looks when your partner announces to your mother ‘Sorry, I don’t eat turkey. I’m a vegetarian.’


5. If you don’t actually celebrate Christmas, but your new partner does, decide how you feel about being involved and feel free to join in the non-religious aspects of the day and discuss them doing the same for your special festival days.


Here’s to a great day, lots of food and some fun times.

Have a good one everyone.

Enjoy the sunset together as a survivors of the end of the world!

The End is Nigh!


As many of us are by now aware, the World is supposedly set to end tomorrow.


This is according to a reading of a Mayan calendar (one of several interpretations) and has got 1 in 10 UK adults in a bit of a tizzy. The rate is even higher in the USA, where a growing number of ‘survivalists’ have started preparing for the inevitable end of mankind as we know it. In Australia, I’m pretty sure most people are just chilling out on the beach with a stubby.


Various theories have been put forward for the way the world will cease to be, Google’s top 4 options are these;

1. Nuclear Fry-Up

2. Economic Meltdown

3. Alien Invasion

4. Zombie Attack

Great dates for the end of the world!


Of course, if the world does end tomorrow (just in case and all that), you want to go down knowing that you spent your last day on earth having a great time. In fact, not just a great time, but a fantastic time.


Suggestions for a little pre-apocalyptic good time;


  • Forget feeling nervous or getting rejected – those are emotions people with long-term prospects worry about! Get out there right now and ask someone out. You never know how great the next 24hrs could be.
  • Certain that blondes have more fun? Head to the hairdressers and bleach your hair! Maybe you fancy some black but your mother always said you could never pull it off. Maybe you want to try the pastel hair colour trend but your job dress code always made that dream a no-no. Do. It. Now.
  • Tonight is the night for the best date ever – head out of work, check into a salon and glam yourself up, no expense spared. Buy new clothes, try every cocktail in the bar and sample the full tasting menu at an exclusive restaurant. Spend the early hours dancing, hot tubbing on a balcony and buying plane tickets to Pacific Islands. No worries about it being a school-night either.
  • Feeling certain that the world is going down? Open all your Christmas presents now – after all, people put thought and consideration into those and you want to play with your booty before it goes up in flames.
  • Stop winking and start talking – send out an introductory note to everyone you like on Free and Single. You never know, the devil-may-care attitude may just result in connections made people you would never have had the courage to message before. If the world doesn’t end? You will be so glad you pressed ‘send’.

perfect dates for the end of the world online dating ideas


You started dating each other after a well-timed wink on Free and Single and things are going great. Then suddenly, they have a little less spare time on their hands. Maybe you call them one evening and hear whooping and cheering in the background of the phone call. Maybe you bump into them in town and catch them in a brightly coloured polyester team shirt.


However you discover their allegiance to sport there is one thing that, stereotypically, you will start worrying about.
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Do they like their sport more than they like me?


Now, here is where you have to get sensible. Realise that the sport means something to them, regardless of whether you understand why. As an important aspect of their life, you cannot hope to supersede it, and nor should you wish to.


Be mature about it – they have their hobby, you have yours. If you don’t have one, put in some serious consideration to finding one as doing so will make you a more interesting and well-rounded person.


Spend some time trying to understand the sport – you may even find that you get swept up in the excitement of it all and really come to enjoy it yourself. Wouldn’t that be neat as a couple activity?

Watch sports together to bond and feel good about your date

If you find that nothing on earth could persuade you to spend more of your precious life minutes dwindling away into touchdowns, pit stops and goals, accept you don’t like it and leave your partner to it. There is no basis here to prevent them from getting their fix.


Remember, true love is about accepting all parts of a person – their bright points and their flaws. If you perceive an unconditional adoration of the New York Giants as a flaw you can’t ever come to find endearing…well, the relationship is not going to work. Simple as.


Go On An…

After Hours Supermarket Sweep Expedition

As a new couple, you’ll probably find yourself up at all hours talking and finding out out about each other. Put that time to good use and set yourself a task: to go bargain hunting at some mad time in the morning (I suggest about 2am) at a 24hr supermarket. Relish the empty aisles, check out what each other puts in their trolley, dance to the night shift’s music and snaffle a fresh, still-hot-from-the-oven baked good for an early pre-breakfast snack. Sounds weird, but honestly? This is fun.


Go On An…

Indoor Igloo Build and Movie Adventure

If its raining cats and dogs outside, grab some blankets and as many cushions as you can find and build a tent/fort/igloo in front of the TV. Once you are all warm and snuggly and construction is complete, pop on a movie and curl up with your home made popcorn and drinks to watch it. Childish games are a great way to let down barriers and break the ice, helping you to really get to know each other and enjoy each other’s sense of fun.


Go On A…

Bake-Off Style Mission

If you found yourself glued to this year’s Great British Bake-Off then you need to get your date into a kitchen, stat. Challenge each other to make something from a baking recipe book and set-to with a will. Baking can be stressful, so you’ll get a good idea of how your prospective partner handles hard work. You’ll also get a glimpse into their childhood, as everyone has a baking story from when they were little. Not to mention, when all is done you have two delicious cakes to sample and judge.


Go On A…

Walk through the Wintry Weather Exploration

Wrap up warm for this one. Hold hands as you wander through the rainy countryside, or head out on a snowy day and enjoy a snowball fight. Your pink cheeks will make you both more attractive to the other and the fresh air will stimulate an appetite for a tasty lunch. This date only gets better if you have a dog or can borrow one for a walk. Remember to take a ball or find a stick and prepare to be entertained by the dog’s antics – especially useful if you are shy and need a catalyst to get you talking.


Go On An…

Explore a New Town Escapade

Can you say you know you county as well as your home town? There are attractions and interesting places everywhere, but we often overlook those close to our homes. Try taking a day trip to a nearby town you have never been to before and explore it together. You’ll find any historic attractions, galleries or museums (even if the museum only holds a rusty spoon!) are usually free and you can treat yourselves to a coffee at a hole-in-the-wall cafe (no chains!)


Do you have a ‘type’? Do you constantly fantasise about tall, dark, handsome motorbike riders? Or maybe voluptuous, raven-haired hairdresser’s do it for you every time?


Well, I have to tell you something. Having a ‘type’ of person that you constantly date is kind of daft. Not only are you seriously limiting your pool of choices, but if you are still looking for dates, well, clearly your ‘type’ is not working out so well in the long term.




Be Broad Minded in your Search for a Date

While a certain degree of pickiness about who you spend time with can be a good thing – for instance, don’t give your number to the sexy cat burglar or the dude smoking weed at 11am on a Tuesday morning – being overly choosy about who you deign to spend time with will mark you out as unapproachable and snobbish. Not to mention kind of boring.


Dating should be about pushing your boundaries, meeting different people, finding out and experiencing new things you probably would never have tried on your own. If you date the same ‘type’ every time you leave the house, chances are you’ll be spending a lot of time repeating yourself.


Michelle, 31, from London, UK says;

My date picked me up at 7pm and took me to the restaurant. I had been to the same place twice before…also on dates. I got to thinking – all three dates were about 6’1, dark hair, up-and-coming accountants – clearly, I had a ‘type’ and that ‘type’ was just as clearly not working for me.’

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Try Looking at Other People Without your ‘Type’ Glasses On

Try expanding your horizons. Just because you don’t instantly feel a pull towards checking out any more of a Free and Single member’s profile because they don’t fit your pre-programmed ‘Must have curly hair’ mentality doesn’t mean that you may actually connect on a deeper level. After all, while we all are guilty of it, judging someone on their appearance is superficial. Your life partner may have poker straight hair but find all your jokes hilarious. Who knows?


Brody, 40, from Sydney, Australia says;

I first saw Mai’s profile and ruled her out. She was a gorgeous Asian women, with long black hair, almond shaped eyes and a killer smile. However, I had always dated blondes before and I was convinced that I was meant to end up with a blonde haired, blue eyed lady. A friend told me to grow-up, so I took a chance and winked at Mai. Not only does she love BBQ and snowboarding, she is the exact height for me to put my arm around her shoulders. We’ve been together for about 4 months now. I’m so glad I took the chance.’


So give it go. After all, variety is the spice of life! Even if you eventually end up with the exact ‘type’ who you always thought you would, it is after all possible that the experiences you had getting to that relationship – and the people you shared them with – that make you who you are and who your ultimate partner finds attractive about you in the first place.


Cheer your date up and make the evening special with an unexpected gift. Whether you have only just met, have been together since the summer, or have been dating a little longer, we have the perfect gift suggestion for you!


If they are a parent, don’t get something for their kid – they are more than likely already spending all their spare cash on their progeny. Get something thoughtful that treats them and reminds them they are a person outside of their child’s life, like an afternoon to a spa with money for the babysitter thrown in or tickets to a movie not involving animated characters.


If you have only just met on Free and Single – or if this is your first date – then now is the time to add some extra wow factor by gifting them with something that will not only appeal to their character (scope out the profile!) but also shows off your sense of fun. Dump the cliche bunch of flowers and go for a bouquet of wrapped flannels before heading off to a dirt-bike track.


If they are young, don’t assume that they’ll be into the latest gadget or fashion fad. Feel free to dig a little deeper and look for a present that will help them progress with their dreams – from a simple personalized notebook to write in to a workshop learning to make your own shoes.


If you have been together for a little while longer, why not try surprising them from your usual routine with the gift of home made ice cream sundaes? Turn up with a hamper full of choice ingredients such as their favourite flavours of ice cream, some chocolate brownies or cake, some sauces, fruit, whipped cream…all the best things. Then get creating!


If they are on the mature side, don’t instantly presume coffee table books and twinsets. Go for gold with something that appeals to their personality, not their age bracket. Try a beginners lesson in cordon bleu cookery or a track day in a fast car to get their pulses racing.


I have no idea where the idea of chat-lines came from.


What is more, I have no idea why they persist. The best way to introduce yourself to someone is with a smile and a

‘Hi, I’m Betty. How are you?’

(Unless of course you are very obviously not a Betty). This ‘technique’ works face-to-face as well as in a message to someone you like the look of on Free and Single because it opens up a line of communication, as opposed to a line of humiliation.


Remember: Open questions lead to conversation. Crazy lines lead to a drink in the face and no friends.


However, for those few try-hard individuals who have attempted to charm their conversational partner with a distinct one-liner…the following is to show you what you must not, ever, use. Seriously, never.


10 Terrible Chat Up Lines to Avoid Like the Plague

  1. ‘Hi there, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you.’
  2. ‘You must be tired because you have been running through my head all night.’
  3. ‘When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.’
  4. ‘I said, did you break that hip when you fell from heaven, dear?’
  5. ‘Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?’
  6. ‘How many camels can I buy you for?’
  7. ‘Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Gorgeous?’
  8. ‘I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.’
  9. ‘Keep it quiet – but I am completely and utterly naked under these clothes.’
  10. ‘Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.’


Do the world a favour people – introduce yourself, start a conversation. The only chat-up line I’m putting out there as permissable? (Follow up with the ‘Hi, how do you do…’);


How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!


Fancy a great date night this Friday but not sure of what to do due to the dropping temperatures and rising prices? Here are our Free and Single ideas for indoor dates;


Get back in touch with your heritage

If you have been on a few dates now and really trust each other (Stay Safe Online Dating!) then it might be a good idea to try staying in and cooking a meal. There are loads of variations on this, but why not try each bringing a dish from your respective family origin and teach each other about what makes you you. Our Asian Free and Singles could try dishes from different regions of Asia and our Black Free and Singles could discover differences from Barbadian cuisine to African specialities.


Get in the holiday mood

If your faith is an important part of your life, you need your date to understand that and the holidays are the perfect time to introduce someone you are interested in to your community. Why not head to a carol concert at your church, Christian Free and Singles and enjoy singing together? Don’t forget to stay afterwards for mulled wine and mince pies while chatting with other members of your congregation.


Try something that is simply fun

As we approach the festivities of December, it’s time to get back to the innocent delight in the season – remember when Christmas was fun and exciting? You didn’t have to worry about being the single one at the family ‘do or about what to wear to the Office party. Cuddly Free and Singles and Divorced Free and Singles, get ye to your nearest ice rink and have an awesome time with your date, whether you are whizzing around the centre of the rink or clinging onto the side.


Stay in touch with the next generation

For our Mature Free and Singles, many of you will have grandchildren you may be looking to spend more time with and for our Free and Single Parents, it’s good to have some time just hanging out with your kids instead of having to actively parent them. Choose an activity you can all do together without distractions, like baking and decorating cupcakes or playing some good old fashioned board games like Monopoly or Cluedo.


Push your boundaries

Here’s a good’un for our Professional Free and Singles which our Wealthy Free and Singles should enjoy too. Head to your nearest theater and buy tickets for the next showing of whatever is on – be it the Vagina Monologues, Shakespeare’s Midsummer Nights Dream or a production of Calendar Girls. You get out of it if you have seen it before, but otherwise this is a great way to spark of a discussion and find out about something you wouldn’t have otherwise tried.


Try something new outside your comfort zone

This one is perfect for both out Young Free and Singles who are still looking to define what they want out of a relationship and our Fit Free and Singles who are up for some fitness-based fun. Head to the gym this weekend and bond with each other by trialing a new class together. You’ll help to motivate each other and push each other to be better – if it all goes horribly wrong, you’ll be there at the end to pick each other back up and try something else next time!

We have all been there at one point or another. You get through the mandatory ‘How are yous?’ and the casual ‘You look goods’. You sit down to dinner together, ready to discuss everything over a cosy two-hour meal and *poof* Your entire mind shuts down and all you can think of to say is something along the lines of; ‘Oooh look, they painted the walls red. That’s classic for a dining room, that is.’


Its not an ideal evolutionary response that causes intelligent people to completely loose their ability to hold structured, entertaining conversation the moment they are alone with a potential life mate. You could even go so far as to suggest it is a downright silly function of nerves to prevent you from being at your best on a date.


However, the one comfort I can offer you is that it happens to absolutely everyone, at some point or other. So, in the spirit of acceptance, we at Free and Single have come up with a list of five conversational topics guaranteed to open up lines of communication and five that you really, really, really just should not mention on the first date.


Let’s Get This Party Started – Top 5 First Date Conversation Starters

  1. Are you from around here or did you move here?
  2. What was your favorite subject at school?
  3. How did you get into your career?
  4. If you had unlimited funds, what would you do on holiday?
  5. Do you choose dark chocolate, dairy milk or white chocolate?

This Thing is Shutting Down – Top 5 First Date Conversation Stallers

  1. Religion
  2. Babies
  3. Marriage
  4. Genes
  5. Crazy talk


To all our CuddlyFreeAndSingle‘s, we have a few top tips for making dating fun which we hope you can add to in the comments!


1. Remember How Great You Are

This one is worth remembering Ladies! It can be hard, we all have our down days, but make an effort to get back on top. Remember something funny, call a friend for a chat, watch a comedy, listen to some angry rock…whatever works for you to get you out of the fug and feeling great! Then harness that feeling and you you will be unstoppable!


2. Be Yourself

There is no point in using a fake persona to attract a date – after all, you cannot truly click with someone if you are pretending. You want a guy who is attracted to you and not your stage persona. Hold out for a great guy who you really like, not just a great guy you think you should like.

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3. If You Want to Change, Go For It!

If you feel that your hairstyle, your fashion sense, your low self-esteem or your weight is really holding you back from achieving everything you deserve, then do something about it. You hold all the power. Book in a stylish haircut, go shopping with some good friends, try making a list about all your achievements or join a fun dance class.


4. Have Fun

Whatever you do on your date and in your life, see the fun side! A women enjoying herself is the most attractive thing in the world. Even if it has poured rain on you, the food gave you indigestion and the shoes you bought especially are pinching your toes there is always something to feel good about – you just have to find it.


5. Look Sensational

Always emphasise your best bits – choose what you like most about yourself and look through some recent pictures to help you decide what style of clothing looks best on you. Feel free to play around or invest in a personal shopper or stylist service and find out what clothing makes you feel fabulous.


Check out our great Date Ideas for some inspiration for your next date night.