Dating Advice

Stay in and snuggle;

UK – Spend the evening playing cards, board games and dominoes while you get to know each other better. Continue the date by meeting for Brunch at Honey & Co the following morning.

 

USA – Pick a cuisine from this List of Take Out Food in San Francisco and order up a feast, then build a tent in the living room, cosy up and watch movies, chat and chow down.

 

OZ – Check out the Standard, Fitzrovia, Melbourne for some at-home comforts in a cosy pub atmosphere. Catch a trivia night or their music festival, and stay cosied up in a corner people watching.

 

 

Get out and about;

UK – Pop to Edinburgh for the day and visit Alien Rock, an indoor climbing center that will smooth out any trust issues and help you work up an appetite for later!

 

USA – Whisk your date to the Santa Monica Pier Twilight Concerts in LA, along with a thoughtfully prepared picnic hamper and chilled bottle (or two) of wine.

 

OZ – I’ve yet to meet a women (or a man) who doesn’t enjoy the odd taster of chocolate goodies, so head to Hunter Valley Gardens, Sydney for their Chocolate Festival.

 

 

Travel somewhere new;

UK – Take a cheap flight to Madrid and enjoy walking the sun drenched streets, sampling tapas and grooving to new music together at Marula Cafe.

 

USA – Take a trip this Summer and head off to Vancouver with your beloved! Try visiting the Grouse Mountain Yoga Morning for sports with a view.

 

OZ – Hop on a flight to Singapore and explore some of the vibrant cities lesser-known cultural exhibits – check out these 11 secret museums.

 

 

You know the feeling.

Along with the dread of having to get your legs out (female) or shake off your rusty dance moves (male), the worst thing about the wedding season for a single person is the spew of questions asking for details about your life. More specifically, about your dating life.

 

‘Do you have a someone special in your life yet?’

 

‘So when are you going to be getting married?’

 

‘What do you mean, you’re single? Someone should have snapped you up!’

 

Yes, it’s annoying. Well, possibly infuriating. You just have to remember that all those questions come from people who care about you and want you to be happy. They just happen to be really bad at phrasing. Still, here’s a quick fire guide from Free and Single to help you make the best of a bad situation!

 

Feel Good (or at least pretend!)

 

Even if you are attending, through some horrible act of invitational mishap, your ex-spouse/partner/significant other’s nuptials, you need to squash down any feelings of misery, low confidence and doom. If you can, take a friend who makes you laugh.

If you weren’t lucky enough to be gifted with a +1, plan something good for the day after and look forward to it. Any time you start feeling a bit gloomy during the ceremony, or lonely during the reception, or just plain sad? Think about your plans for the next day. Concentrate on them. Plan what you’ll do and how great it is going to be.

 

Look Great (invest in yourself!)

 

Now is the time for that expensive haircut or the new watch you’ve been eyeing up. Not only will it make you feel better, you’ll look better…which makes you feel better. It is a loop of happiness, all starting with putting a little time, effort or money into yourself. If you can, get a new outfit or wear one you know you look fabulous in. Now is not the time to fade into the background. Make sure you are comfy, prepared for rain or shine and ready to meet any situation that comes at you with grace and amiability.

 

Be Friendly (just keep smiling!)

 

Everyone remembers the grumpy ex in the corner, or the sulky single downing drinks at the bar for all the wrong reasons. Be the single who works the room, asks everyone how they know the happy couple, compliments everyone’s outfits – you know what I’m talking about.

If someone is impolite enough to demand when you’re going to be taking a trip down the aisle (I’m looking at you, Auntie!) have a come-back prepared. I like;  ‘Why, are you offering?’ or ‘Oh no, are you and your husband divorcing? I always thought he was cute, thanks for the heads up!’ That last one might not quite come under the banner of friendly though…

 

Dating at breakfast time - what to wear?

‘Fancy a Bagel?’ Breakfast Date

Men

If you’re off to breakfast together, make an effort. To be fair, this goes for every date, but the last thing you want is for her to start her day staring across the table at a bleary eyed, hair-mussed, scraggly shaved example of manhood. Go to bed early, get up on time, shower! Dress in lighter colours but stick to smart silhouettes – ironed trousers, soft shirt, layering jumper. Come prepared to discuss the day ahead.

Women

Obviously, you have to dress for the day in front of you but stick in something special to give a nod to the fact you’re meeting a date first. Make sure you give yourself time in the morning do do your hair and make-up to your satisfaction and wear softer colours than you would in the evening. A white shirt and colourful silk scarf is a fail safe option every women can pull out of the wardrobe to look classy and pulled together early in the morning.

 

Take a date to lunch to get to know them better

 

‘Let’s do Lunch’ Date

Men

It’s lunchtime, your morning passed in a blur, you feel run ragged already. Head to the bathroom! Splash some cold water on your face and wrists, re-apply deodorant and re-style your hair if necessary. If you were super prepared, slip on the spare shirt you brought with you and be fresh as a daisy when you walk into the lunch date. Smart shoes are a must, unless you’re doing street vendor food, in which case have a back-up plan for where to sit if it rains.

Women

Your head is still concentrating on the details for that afternoon meeting and your nervous hair twirling has caused a frizz situation. To the ladies room! A wash of the hands, a spritz of perfume and a bouff up of the hair under the blowdryer serves to have you ready to charm and chat all through lunch. Take a smaller bag with you to keep your focus on your date and not your iphone. Slip a cosy cardigan on to break down the ‘I’m at work’ barriers and help you relax over lunchtime.

 

What to wear to the date you know is breaking up with you

 

‘We Need to Talk’ Break-up Date

Men

If you are about to ditch someone, tone down your look. Dress in sombre colours and at least look like you spent the last few nights in anguish over your decision. If you think you are about to be subjected to the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line yourself, dress like you own your own very successful company, have legions of adoring fans awaiting you around every corner and have only to buy a new deodorant to have women swarming all over you. Think smart shoes, fresh haircut, dab of fresh cologne. You’ve already moved on, baby.

Women

If you are about to commence break-up speech number two with your unfortunate date, have the decency to look average, or better, plain. Dark colours, nothing fancy with your hair or make-up, simple clothes. No need to twist the dagger, as it were. However, if you suspect you’re about to get dumped, look fabulous. Accentuate your figure, get a blow dry, wear your favorite lipstick and don some sexy (but walkable) heels. Accept the dumping with a glossy smile, then sashay out of there like you’re off to meet the President for drinks.

 

What to wear for your engagement

 

‘Will you Marry Me’ Date

Men

If you’re getting down on one knee, start off with a good quality, dark trouser – no need to have dirt decorating your knees for the rest of the day, especially as you’re likely to be either wining and dining your new fiancee or else drowning your sorrows in the pub with your mates. Depending on how you plan to pop the question, add a suitable top half of the outfit (polo shirt if active, ironed shirt if dressed up and tee shirt…no, never a tee shirt. Make some effort, please). Make sure you have a jacket with a secure inner pocket, natch.

Women

If you’re the one trying to make an honest man of him, good for you. See above. If you merely suspect that you are about to be proposed to, put some extra effort in. After all, there will likely be photos and these pictures will stick around for the entire rest of your life, so no pressure. Get your hair done before your date, keep your make-up simple and classic – anything trendy will date so fast and have you hiding those pictures within the year. Dress appropriately for the venue and get a French manicure, you know. Just in case.

 

CHECK OUT MORE GREAT ARTICLES ON WHAT TO WEAR: 

More advice on what to wear for a first date

Get some date ideas that nix the classic ‘I have nothing to wear’ wail by their very nature.

Planning your outfit along with your date

 

Taking off your ring is all about timing. Whether your marriage has ended due to divorce or death of a partner, the whole gamut of feelings that you associate with that relationship boil down to the one lasting symbol of marriage.

 

The ring.

 

Now, we’ll skip any Lord of the Rings jokes here and move straight in for the real life stuff: No matter how much you knew the relationship was over, 98% of people find that finally taking off their ring really gets that fact home to them.

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Others find that removing the ring is their way of signalling to the world at large that they are ready to talk about what happened.’

 

Often, the removal of the ring can be a calm acceptance of the end of a chapter. Others find that removing the ring allows them to finally let go of the old relationship and the pain of the break up and begin to rejuvenate themselves. Still others find that removing the ring is their way of signalling to the world at large that they are ready to talk about what happened.

 

Sometimes, once a relationship has ended, a person may keep the ring on. It may be that they are used to the feeling of the physical object being in place and feel disconnected without it. It may be that they don’t feel ready to admit to family and friends that their world is collapsing around them. Sometimes, it helps to see the ring as a symbol of better times, so you can amicably accept the dissolution of your love.

 

The long-term question, of when should you remove your wedding ring, is of course entirely up to you.

 

There will probably come a time when you either forget to put it back on after a bath, lose it while you’re on holiday or else just plain decide that today, you don’t want to wear it. If you are not at that point yet though, don’t worry. Removing your ring is just the first step in the rehabilitation of your heart. You cannot be ready for a new relationship until you have allowed yourself time to grieve the past and learn from your mistakes, growing as a person.

 

see the ring as a symbol of better times, so you can amicably accept the dissolution of your love.’

 

When you do finally remove it and you do finally feel ready to enter the dating pool again, you want to do so in the knowledge that waiting until you were ready to remove your ring makes you the well-adjusted person you are meant to be.

 

Ready to find love again.

 

1. Explore your local area and soak up some sunshine!

Take your date for a romantic walk in the sun

USA – It’s Miami Romance Month, so head over to the Most Romantic Places listing and find somewhere that suits your date.

 

OZ – Go out for a brunch to remember in the exciting atmosphere of Fremantle, Perth.

 

UK – Head to Leeds for the Food Festival at the beginning of the month and chow down on some tasty nosh!

 

2. Check out an indoors attraction and feel cultural (maybe)

Take your internet date to a cafe to play board games together

USA – Take your date to this new Byzantine exhibition in Houston, for some history and cake afterwards.

 

OZ – Check out Hobart’s Salamanca Centre for some buzzing arts, markets, crafts and cafes.

 

UK – Take your date to this intimate theatre in Exeter and enjoy new plays before anyone else.

 

3. Whisk them away on a surprise holiday!

Cycling internet dating couple on holiday

USA – Zip over to Mexico with your beloved for a funky break at an all-inclusive holiday resort and spa!

 

OZ – Fly to New Zealand for a mini adventure and go whale watching, winery touring and chill out together under the stars of glow worms!

 

UK – Pop over to France on a ferry and enjoy a great day out exploring markets, eating delicious foods and trying out the original language of love.


When you are a busy professional it can be hard to find the energy and the time to start dating and pursuing a relationship. When you work long hours, take work home with you or specialise in a field that involves lots of extra networking or travel it can feel like an impossible task to begin to date.

 

However, it is also at these points in your life – travelling to yet another conference in a suburban hotel, burning the midnight oil to finish a deposition to your satisfaction, or pulling the late shift and working nights – that make us realise something:

 

We’re lonely.

 

You can fill life with a career and with social calls on friends and family, but it is a rare person indeed who doesn’t wish for a little more than that. So here is our quick check guide to getting you started in the world of dating for professionals. Let us know in the comments if you found it helpful!

 

1.  Sign up to Free and Single Professional in order to find like-minded people who will understand your work commitments and your drive.

 

2.  In this age of technology, being in a separate country is no longer an excuse not to see each other. Up the ante on a boring hotel evening by using Skype or Google Hangout to chat to each other while eating dinner or watching a movie.

 

3.  Make time for each other by agreeing a date in advance and booking it into your schedules like a meeting. Give each other an ‘emergency work situation’ card that you can each use once should something come up at work just before your date – but you can only use it once.

 

4.  Try dating at different times of the day – it’s nice to do traditional dinner dates, but mix it up by meeting for breakfast instead. You could take your full lunch break to go to the park or a bistro. Maybe your office winds down between 3pm and 5pm – pop out to take a stroll together or grab milkshakes before heading back to work.

 

5.  Try calling them as you commute into work, or if that’s not feasible, write a letter or email during your downtime and send it to them. The key is managing your professional working life and your dating life so that you get enjoyment from both.

 

In case you’re wondering about starting something in your workplace, well, you should probably read our take on Office Romances first.

 

At the end of the day, there is always a little bit of time somewhere that you can squeeze a sympathetic person into and get to know them. You just have to let them know that you’ll make the effort, even after a long day at work. Here’s to dating as a professional!

We all have moments, as singletons, where we think; ‘What’s the point?’

 

Why are we expending all this energy and money and time on trying to find a relationship?

It’s at this point that you have to take a step back from the dating scene to re-evaluate what it is you want, are looking for and need from a future partner.

 

After all, sometimes you can just get caught up in the dating whirlwind and forget what it is that you’re actually there for. When dating stops being fun and starts being a chore, you know you have to take a break and rediscover yourself. After all, if that certain someone special were to walk through the door tomorrow, would you want them to see the frazzled, disillusioned, down-and-out you, or the refreshed and fabulous, ready-to-fall-in-love you?

 

Clearly, you want to be at your best when the big moment comes.

 

Sometimes, the most important relationship in your life should be how you treat yourself. Take some personal time to catch up with friends and family and just get out and about exploring your world as yourself, without any ulterior motive of attracting a significant other.

 

Here are some ideas for rediscovering yourself and refreshing your mind before diving back into the dating pool.

 

1) Take joy in being completely able to do whatever you like. Come Saturday morning, you don’t have to wait around while your other half tries on clothes in the mall, or cheers the local footie club to victory. You have the freedom to do absolutely anything that takes your fancy without having to check in with another person first.

 

2) Spend a bit of cash on yourself. Without having to report your spending habits to another, you can splurge on that new widescreen TV or pair of designer shoes without worrying about hiding the box in the wardrobe.

 

3) Take some time to design an interior that really appeals to you and reflects your personality. You can re-do the space so it suits what you now use it for, content in the knowledge that it can be completely your taste and not a mish-mash of styles.

 

4) Take joy in the lack of damp towels spread over the floor of a morning, or the constant cry of ‘Put the loo seat down!’ Maybe your own personal hell is arriving in the bedroom to find clothes scattered everywhere from that morning’s game of ‘I have nothing to wear!’ At this moment, your space is your space and the annoying habits of another half a distant memory.

 

5) Cook whatever you want to eat, or go out to any restaurant you fancy. You don’t have to constrain your mealtimes to accommodate someone else’s preferences, weird diets or finicky eating habits. Revel in the pleasure of eating whatever you please, even if that is cheese and nutella sandwiches – hey, there is no-one to judge you!

 

I interviewed a group of ten guys for this dating blog post, asking them what turned them off when dating a new women, what got them hot under the collar and what advice they would give to any lovely ladies looking to seal the deal with them on a dating website.

 

I found out a whole bunch of tips that guys are willing to share with the female species in order to better understand them and achieve greater dates. See, men want love too!

 

1) Guys are taught that they can get away with anything so long as they project confidence. Ever fallen for the charming dude with an arrogance issue over the man hiding in the corner looking scared?

Exactly.

Take a tip from the guys and pretend confidence when you don’t feel it for real.

 

2) Men can be super fragile. They are always told they have to be the strong one, the macho one, the one who can re-wire a plug. Sometimes they don’t want that responsibility on their shoulders.

Never mock a man about his sexuality – it’s rude, its crude and once you’ve bruised that ego he is not going to be feeling especially fond of you.

 

3) Dudes are more black and white than women. Think; ‘Man see, man want.’ If a man likes you, he will let you know. It harks back to all those cavemen territorial feelings. He’ll do whatever is necessary to make you like him back.

If he isn’t putting the effort in, or trying to impress you, then he is unlikely to be seeing you as a long term relationship.

 

4) Guys will never understand women. They can’t get into the mindset, they won’t see the problem from the same point of view and they certainly don’t have a chance of getting what the issue is if you scream or blank them.

When a man is confused about how you are feeling, or trying to make amends for something, communicate rationally enough that he can begin to see what is happening in your head.

 

5) No-one likes being lied to. Men (and women) appreciate honesty in their dating life. There is no hope of building a trusting relationship if your ‘sports-mad’ online date shows up for your first meeting and point-blank refuses to hang out in a sports bar, ‘cos of, you know – all the sports.

Stay truthful. Its tempting to exaggerate or embellish your life and interests, but at the end of the day, do you really want to wast time dating someone who likes your dating profile more than the real you?

1. Discuss what holidays mean to each of you – does one of you prefer action and adventure while the other one just wants to chill in the spa?

 

2. Make compromises – agree to do a bit of what makes each other happy before judging. So the yoga bunny could try out quad biking one morning while the action man can agree to trial a downward dog sunrise session the day after.

 

3. Set a budget and stick to it. These days its not expected for the man to pay for everything, but everyone still has different rules in their minds of who should pay for what. Discuss money before you go and make sure you know who is paying for what so you don’t end up with any nasty surprises.

 

4. Prioritise each other. At the end of the day, you are not single anymore and while it is fine to take time apart to pursue different aspects of your holiday, try and meet-up again in the evenings for dinner and a drink, or for a walk at lunchtime, or a snuggle and a lie-in in the morning. This is a couple holiday.

 

5. Plan, plan, plan. Not to destroy spontaneity, but if one of you is a tad more punctual than the other, keep that in mind. When you are waiting for your other half to turn up for a flight and the departure gates are starting to close, that can put stress on even the most solid of relationships. Not a good way to start the holiday.

 

6. Enjoy yourselves! After all, you are on holiday! Let the freedom of not having to wake up early for work, suffer through a long commute, deal with the boss, meet with clients, eat the same bad sandwich from the corner store at lunchtime – revitalise you!

 

7. Try new things.Holiday’s are the time to get experimental, especially if you can be nervous about new experiences at home. Maybe taste the local cusine instead of plumping for chips, check out the local sights instead of just chilling by the pool and buy a souvenir together to remind you of your first holiday.

 

8. If you are a ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’ sort of person, simplify your holiday morning routine by deciding on an outfit while you are still at home and packing it in its entirety. Crisis averted and no-one has to stand around wasting precious holiday time because of a sartorial melt-down!

 

9. Both keep your own travel documents and euros on your person, but make sure you have copies of your partners documents too – that way if one on you looses your stuff, you have a back-up plan already in place to catch you and keep things from getting too stessfull.

 

10. Relax! This is some quality alone time to be together with your honey, to enjoy being with them in a new place and to experience what concentrated time alone means for your relationship. Embrace the opportunity and have a great time.

1. Get Outside

 

Brogdale, UK – Pop to this English version of the famous Japanese Cherry Blossom Festival.

 

Boston, USA– Head into the great outdoors on one of these fantastic bike ride routes.

 

Sydney, OZ – Pack a picnic and get yourselves to the Taronga Zoo for a safari fun day.

 

2. Get Cultural

 

Manchester, UK– Check out the new collections at the Whitworth Art Gallery.

 

San Francisco,USA– Head to the Yuerba Beuna Gardens for some live music.

 

Canberra, OZ – Go to the Glass Works to see professional artists at work and maybe even commission something yourself.

 

3. Get Munching

 

London, UK– Go to restaurant of the moment, The Clove Club for a spectacular dinner together.

 

New York, USA – Get your glad rags on to go to the glamorous rooftop Ava Lounge above the city.

 

Melbourne, OZ – Check out the Led Zeppelin playing surrounds of the Parlour Diner and share a mega milkshake for two.