dating

You wouldn’t let someone else choose your house, your car or your clothes…why would you let other people dictate to you when and where you can choose your dates? Sure, the odd blind date here and there is opening up your pool of potential dates, but there is no need to completely depend on other people to set you up.

 

You Can Do It All Yourself

  • You are perfectly capable of making things happen. If you are stuck in a rut, or bored of your routine, it can be so much simpler than you think to break free and make something new and exciting happen.
  • Know that, even if you feel a little apprehensive about the idea right now, self-esteem and confidence are issues you can work on bit by bit, until you are 100% ready to face the dating world again.
  • Leave memos around the house, on your phone or computer or on your desk to remind yourself of everything you want to achieve and everything you are good at – you’ll soon be well on the way to feeling good about yourself and ready to embrace the idea of dating.

Don't wait for Fate to make you a date! Join Free and Single to find Love!

You wouldn’t sit back and wait for fate to deliver the ideal partner tied up in bows on a silver plate…would you? You have to be active, you have to know what you want and then put yourself in the most likely position to get it.

 

Put Yourself Out There!

  • Try joining a new club in a subject you are interested in – the likelihood is that you will meet people there who share your interest. If you feel a spark, go for it and ask them out! If not, no worries, you’ve probably gained some new friends.
  • Push your boundaries every day. Start small, by trying out a different coffee shop or sandwich place from usual. Move on to bigger things; like going to a movie alone, trying out a new hairstyle or lipstick, agreeing to a blind date.
  • Make a pact with yourself to go out from your home at least three times a week. You can pop to the library to check your emails, hang out in a local cafe to read, or just go for a walk and give yourself some quiet time to just think about things.

 

Don’t wait for the world to give you a chance at love – you have to get out there, join Free and Single and make it happen for yourself!

 

Click through now and start your journey, make love happen for yourself by joining Free and Single today.

Join Free and Single today to start looking for love!

Fancy a great date night this Friday but not sure of what to do due to the dropping temperatures and rising prices? Here are our Free and Single ideas for indoor dates;

 

Get back in touch with your heritage

If you have been on a few dates now and really trust each other (Stay Safe Online Dating!) then it might be a good idea to try staying in and cooking a meal. There are loads of variations on this, but why not try each bringing a dish from your respective family origin and teach each other about what makes you you. Our Asian Free and Singles could try dishes from different regions of Asia and our Black Free and Singles could discover differences from Barbadian cuisine to African specialities.

 

Get in the holiday mood

If your faith is an important part of your life, you need your date to understand that and the holidays are the perfect time to introduce someone you are interested in to your community. Why not head to a carol concert at your church, Christian Free and Singles and enjoy singing together? Don’t forget to stay afterwards for mulled wine and mince pies while chatting with other members of your congregation.

 

Try something that is simply fun

As we approach the festivities of December, it’s time to get back to the innocent delight in the season – remember when Christmas was fun and exciting? You didn’t have to worry about being the single one at the family ‘do or about what to wear to the Office party. Cuddly Free and Singles and Divorced Free and Singles, get ye to your nearest ice rink and have an awesome time with your date, whether you are whizzing around the centre of the rink or clinging onto the side.

 

Stay in touch with the next generation

For our Mature Free and Singles, many of you will have grandchildren you may be looking to spend more time with and for our Free and Single Parents, it’s good to have some time just hanging out with your kids instead of having to actively parent them. Choose an activity you can all do together without distractions, like baking and decorating cupcakes or playing some good old fashioned board games like Monopoly or Cluedo.

 

Push your boundaries

Here’s a good’un for our Professional Free and Singles which our Wealthy Free and Singles should enjoy too. Head to your nearest theater and buy tickets for the next showing of whatever is on – be it the Vagina Monologues, Shakespeare’s Midsummer Nights Dream or a production of Calendar Girls. You get out of it if you have seen it before, but otherwise this is a great way to spark of a discussion and find out about something you wouldn’t have otherwise tried.

 

Try something new outside your comfort zone

This one is perfect for both out Young Free and Singles who are still looking to define what they want out of a relationship and our Fit Free and Singles who are up for some fitness-based fun. Head to the gym this weekend and bond with each other by trialing a new class together. You’ll help to motivate each other and push each other to be better – if it all goes horribly wrong, you’ll be there at the end to pick each other back up and try something else next time!

We have all been there at one point or another. You get through the mandatory ‘How are yous?’ and the casual ‘You look goods’. You sit down to dinner together, ready to discuss everything over a cosy two-hour meal and *poof* Your entire mind shuts down and all you can think of to say is something along the lines of; ‘Oooh look, they painted the walls red. That’s classic for a dining room, that is.’

 

Its not an ideal evolutionary response that causes intelligent people to completely loose their ability to hold structured, entertaining conversation the moment they are alone with a potential life mate. You could even go so far as to suggest it is a downright silly function of nerves to prevent you from being at your best on a date.

 

However, the one comfort I can offer you is that it happens to absolutely everyone, at some point or other. So, in the spirit of acceptance, we at Free and Single have come up with a list of five conversational topics guaranteed to open up lines of communication and five that you really, really, really just should not mention on the first date.

 

Let’s Get This Party Started – Top 5 First Date Conversation Starters

  1. Are you from around here or did you move here?
  2. What was your favorite subject at school?
  3. How did you get into your career?
  4. If you had unlimited funds, what would you do on holiday?
  5. Do you choose dark chocolate, dairy milk or white chocolate?

This Thing is Shutting Down – Top 5 First Date Conversation Stallers

  1. Religion
  2. Babies
  3. Marriage
  4. Genes
  5. Crazy talk

 

I’m calling it. We are officially on the countdown to Christmas now. The window displays are up, the shopping offers are everywhere and a house on my road has been liberally draped in LEDs.

Get flirty under the mistletoe this 2012 with Free and Single Dating

This is the time of year to get caught up in the spirit of things. Kiss someone under the mistletoe, gift a flirty secret santa to your office crush and take a date out for some seasonal fun.

 

Lacking inspiration? Feeling drained after a long year? No fear, Free and Single is here to spark some ideas for fabulous Christmas themed dates, whether this is your first meet-up or you’ve been dating for a while now, try one of these and let us know how it goes.

 

Office Party

Now, this is strictly for those who have been dating for a little while – you need the trust that your date isn’t going to wind up drunk and dancing on the table, as it will reflect badly on you. Professional Free and Single‘s, this could be a great way to both network and enjoy an evening together. Multi-functioning date, I like it.

Don't take a first date from Free and Single to an Office Party!

Carol Singing

Whether you can hold a tune or not, a bit of traditional carol singing for a good cause can only ever be a good thing. Trust me. Wrap up warm in your most fetching hat and mittens, grab a bucket and go ye forth and sing! If nothing else, you should get some mince pies and a giggle or two out of it. A great bonding date that our Cuddly Free and Single‘s particularly like.

Sing a Christmas carol with your Free and Single Date Ice rink

Grab your skates! Pack some extra socks and work on getting that oh-so-cute pink flush in your cheeks while dancing on ice. Our Fit Free and Singles will love having a competition between each other to learn new moves – backward skating anyone? There are loads of beautiful outdoor rinks around the UK and USA this time of year.

Grab your skates with a Free and Single Date

Tasting the Xmas Menu

One for our fantastic Mature Free and Singles! These weeks before Christmas, every single restaurant is putting on the ritz and crackers to show you a good time and produce a seasonally inspired menu. Why not book in for a quiet weekday evening and sample the delights the kitchen comes up with?

Try a Christmas special with your Free and Single Date

Mince Pies and Mulled Wine

If you are one of our Free and Single Parents, you are probably gearing up for some serious Christmas madness as your kids ramp up the excitement levels. Take a time out from planning holiday activities and present shopping, sit the kids in front of a classic movie (We like Mary Poppins, An American Tale and Home Alone) and chill out together with a warmed mince pie and mulled wine. Bliss.

Enjoy mince pies this Christmas 2012 with Free and Single Online Dating

 

 

Scuba Diving 

Try this on for size – a full length wetsuit in fashionable black neoprene with go faster flashes of blue. Wap on your shocking orange rubber flippers and a fetching pink snorkel set and check in to your local PADI Divers school to learn how to breathe underwater and explore the oceans like a fish. Perfect for Fit Free and Singles.
Great for Fit Free and Singles, Scuba diving makes for a different date night

Zoo keeper

Ready for a walk on the wild side? Why not treat your date to the ultimate in day out activities by booking yourselves in for a day as a zoo keeper. Grab your safari suit, floppy hat and desert boots (maybe pop some rubber gloves in your bag) and off you go. Picking up poo has never been so attractive as when it belongs to an angry tiger! Perfect for Young Free and Singles.

Young Free and Singles will love a day at the zoo

Cabaret evening

Feeling a tad naughty after the Summer sensation that was ‘5o Shades of Grey’? Why not grab your significant other, don some sequinned nipple tassels and French knickers (maybe put more clothes over the top, but it’s up to you) and head to a theatre club (like Proud in London or Brighton) for a light supper and a bit of burlesque action? Perfect for our XXX Free and Single Members.

XXX Free and Singles might enjoy a cabaret evening

Sensory Experience Restaurant

Bored with the same old dinner date scene? Do you get a bit nervous meeting new people? This version of dating will rock your socks! Head to a sensory restaurant (such as Dans Le Noir in London) and enjoy your companions company over a delicious dinner…in the pitch black. Wear your pajamas for all your date will notice, although I’d advise dark colours in case you spill soup all over yourself. Perfect for Divorced Free and Singles.

Great for Divorced Free and Singles who may be feeling nervous about dating again

Go Ape

Like to monkey around with a new date? Harness up and take it to the treetops with one of the Go Ape franchises. Wear tracksuit trousers, trainers and a fleece and then don your climbing gear to scramble around platforms and rope swings high up in the canopies of some of the UK’s best woodlands. Perfect for Free and Single Parents who can take their sprogs along to join in the fun.

Free and Single Parents can take their families along to Go Ape too

Venice Carnival

Got some cash to burn on your date? Why not go all out and fly to Venice for the Mardi Gras carnival? Hire (or commission) some sumptuous traditional gowns and suits and on no account forget the matching masks. Parade around the city on romantic gondalas and sip wine from goblets in St Peter’s Square. Perfect for our Wealthy Free and Singles.

The Venice Carnival is a perfect date for Wealthy Free and Singles

Horse trekking

Get out of the office and into nature by hiring out a horse for a hack. Saddle up and don your riding boots, hard helmet, tweed jacket and tan jodhpurs for a ride about the countryside with your date. Maybe pack a picnic too? Perfect for our Professional Free and Singles.

Get back to nature Professional Free and Singles, with a horse riding lesson

Dinner at a swanky hotel

Do you enjoy getting to know one another over a candlelight dinner by a top chef? Why not dress up in your finest (I’m thinking channel Vivienne Westwood-style tailored evening gowns and Savile Row-style suits), head into the city and choose your destination dinner. Perfect for our Cuddly Free and Singles.

Cuddly Free and Singles can enjoy getting to know each other over dinner

Salsa dancing

Fancy a turn on the dance floor? Ready to get up close and personal with your partner? Why not try a dating dance lesson for some unexpected fun and you never know – you might just discover a new talent! For the ladies; wear swishy skirts in hot colours and low heeled shoes with an ankle strap. Gents; don a fitted shirt (v-neck optional) and smart trousers.  Perfect for our Mature Free and Singles.

Learn a dance move for our Mature Free and Singles

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Splash out on a special occasion with a ride through the skies! Wrap up warm in jumpers, coats, hats and boots so you stay toasty while floating through the clouds in your air balloon. Men and women alike, remember your leather gloves – wouldn’t want that flute of champagne to fall out of your grip now, would we? Perfect for all our Free and Single daters!

All Free and Singles will love a balloon ride!

 

Here at Free and Single, we know that while the first part of a relationship is fun, nerve-wracking and exciting, as you mellow past the first year or so you can start to grow complacent. You might start taking your partner for granted or under appreciating them just a little bit.

 

It doesn’t have to be that way!

 

The moment you realise you are guilty of not sharing a kiss with your partner on your way out the door in the morning, or that you haven’t told your partner something nice in the last 24 hrs is the moment you switch on your PC, flick back to this (book marked!) blog post and start reading for tips of how to reignite the flame!

 

Free and Single’s Top ‘Date Night’ Tips for Couples

 

 1. Organise time to spend with each other

It doesn’t have to be fancy restaurants or swanky mini-break trips (although, don’t get me wrong, those are mighty fine ideas!) but just put aside some time each week where you will spend some one-on-one time together – no TV distractions, no wailing children, no work overtime and not a single break to check emails. Check out our ideas for great dates here.

 

2. Make an effort

Remember how you used to preen before a date, but now you just grab any old hoodie before you head out? I’m not saying rush out and buy a new wardrobe, but think about how good it feels to have your partner stop in their tracks and mouth ‘Wow!’ as they see you. Just sayin’. Want to know what we recommend for that first date feeling? Have a look here.

 

3. Think of something you know they like

You have a head-start on your first date self here – you already know exactly what floats your partner’s metaphorical boat! You can actually organise their most perfect date, simply because you already know what it is. From a picnic by the penguin enclosure at the zoo to bombing it down a mountain on bikes, there is no need to play it safe with the archtypal dinner-and-a-movie combo – unless that is what they really, really love.

 

What are your top tips for keeping the love as your relationship progresses? Do you have more tips on finding ‘The One’ and what happens in the Happily Ever After? Let us know in the comments!

 

Sometimes, the pressure of creating a great first impression creates something I’m going to call ‘Dater’s Block’. You know that you have some great dates in you, but you just cannot actually get them together. You don’t know where to start and then all your creativity abandons you and you are left taking you date to another dinner and a movie evening. Oh, the originality.

 

Free and Single to the rescue! We’ve had a think and come up with five brilliant ideas for first dates right up to date nights when you are already in a relationship. Let us know what you think and tell us any more date ideas you’ve had in the comments!

 

5 Great Date Ideas for our Free and Single Online Daters!

 

  1. Visit a big Zoo and make a day trip of it – you’ll be walking around together, with a constant stream of new conversation starters should you be worried about what to talk about and no-one can fail to be entertained by penguins, intrigued by reptiles and adoring of the monkeys antics.
  2. Why not hire a cool car (I’m thinking drop top if its sunny and monster 4×4 if its been raining) and go for a drive to a good pub for lunch? Feel the wind in your hair and pretend you’re both 40s movie stars or else bang on your wellies and go for a spin on a muddy cross country track.
  3. Try a treasure hunt. Decide on an end location (we like the sound of a boutique coffee bar or maybe an exhibition your date has expressed an interest in) and leave behind clues for your date to work out where they should meet you.
  4. Get down to your local leisure centre (stay with me here, I know it is not the usual location for a date!) and hire a table tennis table. Start a mini tournament between yourself and your date, add in prizes and forfeits and have a good old giggle at each others cross serves.
  5. Join an outdoor tai chi class in a big public park and keep a straight face. Help each other out and take the opportunity to learn something new and chill out. Afterward, you can go for a virtuous lunch at a salad bar or hike over to a doughnut shop and mainline a sugar glazed triple chocolate filled deep fried delight.

 

Have fun on your dates! Let us know how they went in the comments!

So, you think you are ready. In ‘that place.’ You reckon you are prepared to start dating again.

 

Take our Free and Single quiz to give you an idea of whether you are really ready to handle the excitement of dating, of meeting new people and of putting yourself ‘out there’. It can make you feel vulnerable, so you want to be certain you are in the best possible frame of mind before you jump in the deep end!

 

1) If you bumped into your ex this evening at the pub, what would you do?

 

a) Ignore them completely, pretend you never saw them and walk back to your friends.

 

b) Say ‘hi’, then go on with your trip to the bar and continue with your evening, no harm, no foul.

 

c) Stutter a word that could be ‘hi’, blush and stumble out the door on your way home to eat ice cream.

 

2) Do you find yourself telling others about what went wrong?

 

a) Sometimes, if I’m having a particularly bad day or they seem to be in a similar situation.

 

b) Constantly. If I’m not telling people, I’m thinking about it. All. The. Time.

 

c) Not really, I don’t dwell on it. The past is the past after all!

 

3) Did you learn anything about yourself from your last relationship?

 

a) I found that no matter how hard it gets, I can always survive it.

 

b) I discovered that sometimes you have to compromise.

 

c) I learnt that most everything that went wrong was because of my partner.

 

4) A love song hits the charts. How does it make you feel?

 

a) Broken inside. I used to have that. Now I’ll be alone forever.

 

b) Hopeful. I know what that feels like and I know I’ll feel it again.

 

c) Grumpy. Yeah, yeah, what’s so special about love anyway?

 

5) Picture this: Your ex knocks on your door, they want you back! Do you;

 

a) Invite them in for tea and to discuss their reasons.

 

b) Leap into their arms and accept immediately, no hesitation.

 

c) Politely decline, telling them you had a wonderful relationship but it ended for a reason.

 

 

Tot up your answers to see where your emotional state is…

 

1. a) 2  b) 3  c) 1

2. a) 2  b) 1  c) 3

3. a) 3  b) 2  c) 1

4. a) 1  b) 3   c) 2

5. a) 2  b) 1   c) 3

 

You scored between 12 and 15…

 

Wahey! You’ve taken the time, you’ve accepted the relationship is over and you’re remembering the good times fondly, ready to move on and start dating again!

 

You scored between 8 and 11…

 

Hmm, you’re close and its possible a new path is ready to be taken. Might be better to head for a new coffee shop with your pals or a different class at the gym before diving into dating again though.

 

You scored between 5 and 7…

 

Oh er – you are in no fit state to be entrusting your wellbeing to the success or failure of dates with strangers! Take some more time (ideally a holiday) and try some new things out to get back on track and move on from your ex.

 

I don’t think there is a single person out there who can sashay forth, confident and glorious to every date they go on.

 

At some point, you will feel nervous. This can be compounded by the need to feel you are not wasting your time and the hope that this could be the start of your very own fairy tale.

 

Here are the Free and Single Top Tips for the first date you go on (when you are secretly on a mission to find ‘The One’.)

 

 

1. Don’t Immediately Write Them Off

 

Take the pressure off immediately being struck by the love bug and search for things in common – look to whether you would hang out with this person as a friend, don’t write them off instantly because you had your head set on tall, dark and handsome because your heart may ultimately prefer blondes!

 

2. Seize the Day!

 

Live in the moment! Having plucked up the courage to actually set up an internet dating profile, ‘wink’, message and organise a date, don’t then spend the whole time fast-forwarding to a possible future scenario or thinking about tomorrow’s to-do list. Stay in the moment and really listen to the other person, get to know them and enjoy yourself.

 

3. Feel Good before you Go

 

Regardless of your principles on vanity, make an effort before your date. First off, it’s nice to know you care enough to want to make a good first impression. Knowing you look great and feel like the best you can be can really help your confidence and help you remain calm during the date. Once you have relaxed, you can concentrate on just being yourself and talking to the other person, instead of fussing about what you are wearing or why your hair frizzed up in the rain.

 

Check out our Ten Things to Remember on a First Date for some more advice!

 

Have you got that Friday feeling today?

 

If the ‘Thank God Its Friday’ syndrome is really catching up with you, then I have a great reminder for you – next weekend is the August Bank Holiday! If your head has been stuck in paperwork and to-do lists, now you’ll finally have some time to get online, find a great date and actually head out and about with them.

 

Not to mention, in honour of the additional 24 hours of free time stuck onto your weekend, we’re going to be sending out some fantastic offers for all our fabulous Free and Single’s – so what are you waiting for? Let’s get in the holiday mood!

 

I’ve got some ideas to share with you on how you could spend that all important extra day off, so have a browse and see what takes your fancy (ooh, and you have any ideas or plans, I would love to hear them, so do please leave me a comment).

 

London

 

If you are spending some time in London after the recent Olympic fanfare, you might want to consider checking out the outdoor film showing at Somerset House on the 25th August for a chance to snuggle with your date – definitely bring a picnic and a blanket!

 

Manchester

 

Maybe you are a little further North than London and can head to Manchester for a night out. Why not have a look at the Blue Cat Cafe for some up and coming the music stars and fantastic beats? Listen to some smooth jazz, perfect for the over 40s dater who likes to kick back with a gin and tonic.

 

Dublin

 

For those of you heading to Dublin, why not try out one of the many attractions of the Emerald Isle? My favourites are Dublin Castle and seafood at Aqua. Take your date for a mini break and enjoy Guinness together in a cosy pub if it rains, or explore the city like a local if the sun shines.

 

Paris

 

If you are feeling flush this upcoming Bank Holiday weekend, why not take your date to Paris? Try out this spectacular magic show and ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ together before heading out for some of France’s famous culinary delights.