Finding ‘the one’ can be difficult at the best of times, but especially so if you’ve got children in tow. However that doesn’t make a quest for love impossible, you just have to change your approach a little to help you find someone that’s right for you and your family. So if you’re a single mum or dad who is looking to get back on the dating scene, here are a few tips to make your adventure fun, exciting, and hopefully fruitful.

Set Your Goals and Limit Expectations

Not every single parent is looking to find a new mum or dad for their children. If you’re simply looking for a bit of fun, or someone who also has kids, then that’s ok too. But try to work out exactly what you want from your dating journey before you set off. And don’t get your hopes up on every person who you go on a few dates with. It can be very confusing for children if they meet a lot of new lovers who keep coming and going, so try to keep your dating on neutral territory until you meet someone who you think is ‘the one’.

Be Open About Your Children

Be honest from the offset with any dates that you do meet so that they know where they stand. That doesn’t mean introducing yourself as ‘Hi I’m Jane, I have two kids and you look like awesome father material’. However don’t make the mistake of putting off telling them until further down the line. After all, if they don’t want to get involved with a family person, then you’ll have wasted your time on someone who isn’t worth it. Although if you are just looking for some no strings attached fun, then it’s not an essential talking point anyway.

Find Love in the Right Places 

We’re not saying it’s impossible, but you’re not very likely to find a family-loving, caring and reliable man on a boozy night out in town. Meeting new people can be difficult when you have kids for several reasons. Firstly, finding the time to get out and socialise when you’ve got the children to look after can be a challenge, unless you have family and friends who are willing to help out. Secondly, when you do get out there, it’s a whole different ball game seeking out someone suitable.

That’s where online dating comes in. By simply logging into your FreeAndSingle account, you can search and connect with local singles when the kids are busy playing or tucked up in bed. Find fellow single parents or exciting new faces who really give you butterflies, and arrange a date when you decide they could be a good match. With our free dating service, it’s never been easier to find love as a parent!

We know that the kids come first for any parent, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t make a little time and loving for yourself too, does it? Online dating is a great way to get back on the dating scene whilst keeping on top of the busy role of being a mum or dad. And the best thing about it is that at FreeAndSingle, it’s absolutely free!

Photo Credit: Jenny Downing

Remember the days when you were back at school and it was a massive controversy if you dated someone a few years below you? Even now, you probably have a few friends or relatives that make a big deal if you date someone who wasn’t at least in education at the same time as you. But what exactly does it matter? FreeAndSingle takes a look at whether age gaps really matter when it comes to online dating, to settle this question once and for all.

The Pros and Cons

It’s very easy to add up the cons when you think about big age differences in relationships. Many people assume that if you date someone a decade older or younger than you, then you’ll have nothing in common, your partner will be immature or old and boring, and one will outlive the other. But when you think about the many reasons that people get together in the first place, the fact that they are the same age doesn’t usually rank high in priorities, does it?

When looking for a partner, most people are searching for someone who makes them laugh and shares their interests – someone who excites them for a change. Online dating is a great example of this, as it shows how many people have failed to find love or friendship within the group of people than they might traditionally socialise with. With free dating online, sure you might check out their profile picture and age, but the emphasis is more on where you’re located, what hobbies you have, and if you make a connection when you start chatting. Surely you can’t put an age on chemistry?

Besides, free dating doesn’t automatically lead to marriage and kids, and the whole emphasis of meeting new people online is to refresh your love life and enjoy exciting new encounters. So giving someone older or younger than you a shot doesn’t sign your life away with them…. Unless you eventually decide they’re the one!

Celebrity Relationships With Big Age Gaps

When you look at the celebrity world, it seems that they don’t care in the slightest about this ‘age old’ problem. Bradley Cooper and Suzi Waterhouse have a 17 year age gap, and that is by no means the biggest in Hollywood. Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas are 25 years apart, having been married for a massive 12 years. Their relationship is surely testament to that fact that you don’t need to have watched the same cartoon programs as a kid to connect. Besides, you could easily argue that having a different background and outlook on life can enrich a relationship and keep you both grounded.

We’re not saying that age is irrelevant, as it does to a certain extent define who we are. But when you’re looking to meet local singles online who share your interests and give you a new outlook on life, why should a few years get in the way of your fun?

Photo Credit: Brian Walter

How to tell if the guy you’re seeing is ready to jump your bones or eschew your company for good? It should usually be pretty obvious, but with the rise of ‘playing the field’, some guys can get pretty sneaky about keeping their options open.

So, what’s a girl to do? There are plenty of articles out there telling you the signs to look for when he is into you…but ladies, guys can read those article too. They know how to play the game.

Here is a little list of tells that a guy can’t usually hide. If you spot one of these, chances are you’ve crossed into friend territory and your relationship isn’t going to shift any time soon without the help of excessive amounts of alcohol and ‘right-time, right-place’ manoeuvres.

Keep your poker face and suss out his moves…

1. He comes to you for ‘You’re a girl, what’s so-and-so thinking when she says…’ talks

Yeah. Unless his description carries insanely uncanny references to your own relationship, he isn’t talking about you. He’s plumbing your knowledge of the female brain for his own devious advantage.

2. If he doesn’t talk to you. At all.

Okay, this should be a no-brainer, but us ladies have a habit of convincing ourselves that the guy in question is lovestruck, timid and very, very shy. He’s not. If he wants to talk to you, he will find a way.

3. He treats you like he treats his friends.

You know. Drinking challenges at the pub, borrowing cash for the taxi, leaving you in the lurch at the bar to chat up the hot girl by the pool table… Either accept this is a friendship and nothing more, or have it out with him and accept the consequences.

How was your Valentine’s Day?

Did your secret crush send you roses? Did the girl next door give you a wave and an invite to dinner? Or did your cards get lost in the post and your date went awry?

Whatever happened, if you find yourself still looking for love post the big V-day, don’t sweat it. It’s not the be all and end all, I promise.

Don’t believe me? Then take five minutes out of your busy schedule and cast an eye over our list of dream dates gone wrong. Have a chuckle, make some quick resolutions that nothing like that will ever happen to you and then have at it! Get combing the site for someone you fancy and send them a quick message – after all, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

I organised a date with a girl I’d had a crush on for ever. I thought it would be really romantic to post letters with the time, date and details written on them in a kind of scrapbook layout over the week beforehand. What I didn’t realise was that her ex had stalked her and on receiving the letters, which looked a little bit like newspaper-cutting ransom notes, she freaked out and called the police. Needless to say, we never got to go on our date.

James sounded like the ideal man on his profile – tall, handsome, sweet, generous and with a romantic streak. We messaged back and forth for weeks before finally agreeing to meet up. Once the date was set, I found myself waiting in the bar for the tall guy with the red rose in his lapel. However, he never showed up. I stormed back home to demand why he’d stood me up via message only to find a slapdash email from his girlfriend. Thank goodness we never got together!

I met a great guy online and was all set to meet up, but then I found out he had been on one date with my friend which had gone horribly wrong and she wanted me to cancel. I was still into him, so I decided to go ahead with the date, but my friend felt so guilty about vetoing things that she overcompensated and wanted to know all about the ‘new’ guy I was supposedly going to meet. I had to make up an entirely different person to tell her about so she wouldn’t get suspicious and then when I had a great date I felt I couldn’t tell her at all in case she realised I’d lied about the guy!

Sometimes it seems as if all those people in happy relationships are a tad envious of the singleton’s freedom.

Other times, it feels like being single is possibly the worst thing in the world. Conflicting, huh?

So, we at Free and Single have done a quick round up of the pros and cons of relationships – to enthuse you and motivate you into continuing your dating adventures to find ‘The One’, or else to make you appreciate your single-ness until fate sees fit to intervene!

Pros!

• It’s cold, it’s raining and you’re snuggled up together on the sofa under a blanket, with a good movie and a cup of tea. Bliss.
• Support on tap! Come home from a hard day, have a bit of a moan, enjoy dispensing advice, maybe get a shoulder massage…
• Feeling frisky? Get down to business with all the love and trust you could want.
• Want to travel? Hate walking into new places by yourself? Insta-travel companion!
• Someone to bring you soup and blankets when you’re feeling poorly.
• A shoulder to cry on when things go topsy turvy.
• ‘Darling, do I look good in this?’ Answer: ‘Ravishing.’

Cons!

• Being with someone means involving them in your life. They’ll worry if they don’t know where you are or if you are proving incontactable.
• Mess/Tidiness. One of you will prefer things slightly tidier than the other. That’s life, folks.
• When your other half goes about ordering salads or saying they aren’t hungry, only to start nicking your chips.
• The inevitable urge to start changing them, or yourself, to fit.
• Jealousy – nobody likes the green headed monster to emerge snarling, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

Christmas can be a tricky time. It can seem like everyone is smooching under that damn mistletoe when you’re the only one stood alone in the corner with your fourth glass of eggnog.

However, Christmas is over for another year and we’re now stuck in the month of payback – presents, parties and party food all take their toll!

This time can be used for more than weepy recriminations about that second box of chocolates you scoffed next to the Christmas tree. Instead, use the time to reinvent yourself. Forget resolutions – those are for pansies. Instead, you can make yourself into the best possible version of you, ready for a year of love, laughter and lighter thoughts.

Chuck the chocolate, pop on a coat and go for a walk – seriously, it’ll bring a rosy glow to your features! Get a friends to take a picture of you in the evening sunshine (super flattering) and update your profile image. You could even treat yourself to a new haircut first if you fancy.

Think about what to write in your profile – what needs updating, what you want to write instead. Plan it out and then set aside an hour or so to actually write it, make the changes and start benefiting from them!

Enjoy the new year and enjoy your dates this January!

It’s the party season and bunches of mistletoe are hanging haphazardly everywhere, just waiting for kisses and good times to occur.

If you’re gearing up for a sophisticated wine and cheese evening, or a night out on the tiles with friends, a work office ‘do or a family set-up blind date, it can be a nightmare trying to decide what to wear.

To keep things simple, determine whether the occasion calls for casual, smart or formal and then follow our quick guide to looking fab this party season.

Ladies

Casual

It has to be the fabled Christmas jumper! Go as outrageous or as simple as you fancy, whether you channel the full tinsel-bedecked, sewn-in LEDs Rudolph number or an elegant berry coloured cashmere number. Style with comfy leggings, a piece of sparkly jewelry and warm flat boots.

Smart

Think tailoring and fun details like a peplum or trumpet hem (not together!) Whether you go with a dress or separates, stick to rich, deep colours and dress up your outfit with jewelry, shoes and a sparkly jacket. Maybe try a different parting  or small hairstyle change.

Formal

For this dress code, think jewel tones; floor sweeping gowns or an exquisitely cut woman’s tux. Play with fabrics that scream luxe, like velvet, satin, silk and brocade. Add jewels, beautifully blow dried hair and complementary shoes.

Men

Casual

Same as the ladies, I am all in favour of the Christmas jumper for a bit of casual cheer. Go silly with a Christmas pudding print jumper or keep it classy with a Fairisle print knit in subdued colours. Pair with comfy dark jeans and loafers.

Smart

Pressed suit trousers in charcoal grey or dark navy, with a matching jacket. Have fun when it comes to your shirt by playing with colour. A deep burgandy, a pattern or a cream shirt would all be a twist on the norm. Add smart shoes, cufflinks and belt.

Formal

I’m presuming evening formal here, so go with a tux or a dinner jacket (maybe check with some other’s to find out what they are wearing before investing). Crisp, white shirt, smart black shoes and well-cut tailoring never fail to attract attention.

Sometimes, things get in the way of admitting that you like someone. Maybe you’re nervous to the point of shaking, possibly you’re scared they won’t return the feelings. Sometimes the moment is never right for your big confession, other times you’re just never alone together, always surrounded by friends and unable to just talk.

That’s where body language and flirting come into their own as a tool to let the other person know you’re into them.

Here are some great tips on flirting to follow on your next date!

– Let your gaze wander over their face, from their eyes, to their mouth and briefly flick down over their body before returning to their eyes.

– If you’re ready to make your intentions abundantly clear, allow your gaze to rest on their lips every so often for a little longer than you would usually look at someone’s mouth.

– Talking of looking at mouths (!), a natural smile is the biggest turn-on. Let them know you like them by smiling at them frequently, so they know you are enjoying their company.

– You know the old adage; eyes are the window to the soul? Well, cast them communicative looks with your eyes, then glance away and smile. Keep meeting their eyes and smiling – just don’t lock stares, that’s plain creepy.

– Every time you move your hands, you are drawing attention to yourself and what they are doing. A finger on your lips, a subtle ruffle or twirl of your hair, brushing your forearm or collarbone – all these movements show your sensuality.

– Relax. If you try too hard, you’ll end up staring at their mouth, laughing hysterically and yanking your hair. If you can calm down in their presence, you’ll start to flirt naturally with little effort.

Have a great date and let us know how your flirting goes in the comments!