Dating Advice

Relationships. At the end of the day, if you’re reading this blog, visiting Free and Single and browsing dating profiles, it is for a purpose. You’re not here for kicks, you’re on the hunt for a potential life partner.

 

Now, first, before we go any further; I beg you, have you thought this through? When you picture a ‘relationship’ are you seeing the ups, the downs, the good times and the arguments? Or are you rosily contemplating a life filled with chocolates, red roses and sunsets?

 

Relationships take work. Not back-breaking, miserable Monday-morning feeling work (if it feels like that, it might be time to call it a day). But work nonetheless. There will be days when, say, you’re hungover and want to nap, but your other half is sick and needs you to go out and get cough medicine. There will be times when you really want to go shopping, but it’s the only day your partner’s parents are in town for a visit. There will be points where you question why you are together at all.

 

However, there should also be some serious ‘ups’! Surprise bouquets and being whisked off to the theatre, voluntarily skipping Saturday’s game to accompany you to your best friend’s wedding. These good moments make the work and the compromises easier, make them worth it. At the end of the day, you know you have someone who will support you, look after you and laugh at your jokes.

 

Here are some tips for working that relationship:

 

  1. Never go to bed angry. Ever. No matter how annoyed you are, no matter how tired. Calmly, without shouting, explain that you’re hurt, you’re not happy with the situation, but that you really need to sleep right now or you’ll mess up your big meeting tomorrow. Schedule some time to talk about the issue as soon as possible the next day. Move the venue for the discussion to neutral territory, somewhere public where you can’t shout at each other. Then give them a hug and a kiss and go to bed. The thinking space alone should help resolve the issue the next day.
  2. Now you’re in a couple, you have to think about what the other person would like. If you’re not into that and you don’t understand the word ‘compromise’ then you are not ready to handle a relationship.
  3. Keep the surprise, the suspense and the excitement. Thoughtful gestures, little gifts, compliments, asking for details about their day – all small acts that add up to keep the love burning.
  4. Listen to each other. One of the all-time most important tips for anyone, in any situation, be it dating, friends or relationships. From listening comes true intimacy, true connection and lasting love. You will learn about the other person, you will learn about yourself and you will form a bond that transcends the ordinary.
  5. Keep lines of communication open. Your life is no longer just about you, now you’re sharing it with someone else. You don’t have to report your every move to each other, but if you’ve agreed to meet up and you’re late, show a little common courtesy and phone to tell them. Even if you feel restricted by the interest your other half shows in your whereabouts, it could simply be that they are worried about you. When you’re late, instead of rationally explaining it away as traffic difficulties, they are picturing you mugged and bleeding in an alleyway.

 

Check out these fun date ideas to keep your internet dating varied and exciting when you finally meet each other in the flesh!

 

Celebrate the end of the school holidays by cashing in on the cheaper plane tickets and head to pastures new for your date.

 

UK – Take the party to Paris by hopping across the Channel to catch a rockabilly concert in the city of love.

 

USA – Treat your date to a day out over the border and settle in to relax together at this glamorous spa in Toronto.

 

OZ – Head to Singapore for the weekend and enjoy a mini-break together, sampling the delights of traditional mooncakes.

 

Think swanky outfits, glittering conversation and exciting new venues to impress your date with.

 

UK – Don your glad rags and treat your date to a night out in Manchester. Keep your heads in the clouds and enjoy the view (and the cocktails!)

 

USA – Got milk? Chill out to some new tunes at San Francisco‘s groovy venue.

 

OZ – Like cabaret? Get to Melbourne’s premier entertainment night and head to the Gangster’s Ball for drinks and fun.

 

Get cosy and start the wind down into the next season by making the most of what’s around at the moment.

 

UK – Take advantage of the cooler evenings and pack blankets and beer before heading out to an evening screening of a classic movie in London.

 

USA – Start moving by attending an open day at a dance school – it’s free, and there is a beer garden out back for when the pirouettes get too much.

 

OZ – Enjoy a good hot dog? Head round Sydney, any day of the week, and pick up a tasty snack to chow down on as you enjoy chatting with your date.

 

How do you act on dates?

We all know that if you have an intense fear of heights plus trust issues, then going on a bungee jump for your first date is quite likely to literally make or break the beginnings of your new relationship. After all, if its likely you’re going to be mentally (or physically) scarred by the date, chances are it doesn’t bode well for any future between the two of you.
However, knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is supremely helpful when venturing into the dating pool. You have the power to line up events to suit you so that you will be at your most confident, self-assured and ready to feel that spark – if it exists.
Why would you not take the opportunity to work out your dating character so you can leave the rest up to fate?

First, you have to work out your default dating style.

a) Noisy & rambling

Do you find yourself laughing louder than usual, embarking on long anecdotes and loosing track of what you were talking about mid-way through?
If you react to tension by getting louder, speaking faster or just speaking for the sake of filling the silence, then now is the time to act. Start practicing pacing your speech, keep on track of what you are saying and slow it down as you speak. You just need to calm down and then you will act more yourself. Make sure to breathe between sentences and try posing questions instead of running through anecdotes.

b) Intense & interrogative

Do you pile the pressure on your date, willing them to be ‘The One’? Do you delve right in at the deep end and start talking life goals, baby names and favorite hymns for the wedding before the aperitif?
Chill out! Even if the person you are sitting across from is ‘The One’, they are going to be so freaked out by your heavy-weight approach they will run screaming from the building at the first opportunity. Try and relax into your date, appreciate it as a way to experience someone new’s approach to things. Make an effort to listen to them and ask pertinent questions about their stories – don’t just ask to see their medical history forms and their CV, this is not meant to be a job interview.

c) Shy & quiet

Do you clam up when faced with a new person? Does your conversation become reduced to nods and shakes of the head and some nervous smiling?
If you’re shy, you will already be aware of what an issue it can be when it comes to meeting new people. The cure is practice! Don’t fall back on a shot of Dutch courage before your date, instead try to talk through with yourself why you are nervous. Be brave and just go for it – have some pre-prepared questions to ask when your mind goes blank and then just concentrate on listening to the other person. When they start asking you questions, try and answer in full sentences instead of one-word bursts.

d) Terrified & shaking

If you are honestly scared of even meeting your date, there are several things you can do to calm your nerves. Firstly, arrange to meet in a public place. Secondly, maybe keep it casual the first one or two times you meet by both agreeing to take a friend with you and double dating. Learn some deep breathing exercises (in through the mouth, out through the nose) that will force your body to calm down and stop shaking. Avoid alcohol and caffeine.

e) Calm & positive

Well look at you! If you can approach a new date feeling this zen, you are doing very well.
However, be careful that you are not so relaxed that you appear uninterested or indecisive. Make sure you still engage with your date by asking questions, listening to what they have to say and helping to make any decisions, like what to order for dessert. If they end up driving the conversation, they won’t feel as if they had a good date at the end of the evening.
Now you know how you act during a date, you are ready to implement some changes to ensure you are more confident and more ready to connect with the person you are meeting. After that, its just a matter of taking every opportunity available to you to experience that melding of minds and chemistry that signals a real relationship potential.

New Shoes? What does that have to do with dating?

We all start to get that back-to-school feeling around about now, thanks to years spent schlepping around the shoe shops with our mum’s trying to find a pair that fit properly. Personally, it was the hours spent staring at all the different pencil case options that come back to haunt me.

 

If you are a parent yourself, I’m sure you know this feeling all too well at the moment. Even if you’re not buying up school uniform for troublesome tots right now, its worth harking back to that new year, new you feeling now, instead of waiting four months to make a change on the 31st of January. Apart from anything else, we all know it is harder to keep resolutions when it is cold and raining and for the majority of us (I’m watching you, Oz!) that is what January heralds. So, lets embrace the start of the new school year as a time of reinvention and put our dating good intentions to good use now instead of later.

 

New Season Dating Resolutions to Stick to

1. Unpack and wash your baggage. Okay, I admit this sounds weird, but hear me out; we all come with a past, it’s what makes us who we are. The key is to accept your past, good or bad and move on. Let it go, stop rehashing it and get ready to make a future. Either get a therapist, a friend or write a private letter outlining all your feelings about the past. Let it all out, sort through it and learn to forgive and forget. You don’t want to drag all this old stuff into your new, shiny, beautiful future relationship, do you?

 

2. Say yes. To everything. Really, unless you are about to burn out from all the social interaction (or go bankrupt), then saying yes is guaranteed to get you places you wouldn’t usually go, meeting new people and experiencing different things. This makes you more likely to meet someone you’ll actually be interested in and well as more interesting when you do go out. Being able to talk about your latest adventure can be a godsend if you’re feeling nervous before your first date.

 

3. Make time for ‘Me’ time. It isn’t selfish, it is necessary, stop making excuses. Find a time when everyone else who usually makes demands on you can be otherwise occupied and claim it for you own. Make it a routine, so everyone knows not to bother you between 8pm – 9pm on a Wednesday evening. Take that time to put effort into you – bathe, shave, get your hair done, paint your nails, sort out a date outfit you feel comfy in, whatever makes you feel good.

 

4. Be open to opportunity. If you’re on the bus and a cute girl looks you up and down, smile back. If you’re buying your morning coffee and the guy behind you orders the same, strike up a conversation. It is all practice, chatting to people, making new friends and acquaintances – and you never know, that guy behind you in line to the train ticket machine? You might not get a spark with him, but his tennis partner might be searching for a women just like you.

 

5. Set aside time to look at Free and Single. Revamp your profile to include all your new experiences, interests and hobbies. Keep your picture updated to reflect your new hair cut or pink lipstick obsession. Routinely give yourself 30 minutes or more to browse your messages, reply, check over new profiles and chat to new people. Online dating gives you a pool of people all looking for the same thing, without having to winnow them out in a bar. However, it isn’t effortless, you still have to be involved in order to get results.

 

Go forth and keep your resolutions, add a few of your own, make some positive changes for you and watch the dates come rolling in!

Let us know how you get on in the comments 🙂

What are your internet dating resolutions to find a partner before Christmas?

We’ve all been there, right? You look back over the date you just had and realise that maybe your 1 hour treatise on the tapeworm your pet has was not appropriate dinner conversation? Or that the zeal in your date’s eyes as they described their perfect women was a little bit too intense for your liking?

 

Here’s what not to do on a date;

 

1.  Right, first things first. No matter how much you want them, no matter how late you feel you are leaving it or how much you want this date to be The One, do not obsessively talk about babies. Sure, if you see a cute baby, feel free to say, ‘Aww, cute baby.’ Don’t feel the need to go over to said baby, coo at it, question it’s mother closely about it’s every move and then have to be dragged away while sobbing incoherently about ticking clocks. Instant turn off.

 

2. Never be late. If you honestly cannot prevent it, call ahead, that is what phones are for. If you are going to be more than 30 minutes late, prepare to make up for it. If you are trapped in an important meeting/broken elevator/childcare situation, then call ahead as soon as you know you won’t make it and reschedule immediately. Never assume you can wing it through the meeting then run across town and just be 40 minutes late without telling anyone.

 

3. Passion is a good thing. Anger, intolerance or unending rants are not. If you feel strongly about a topic that comes up, feel free to share your feelings with your date – after all, you are there to learn about each other. However, be tactful, remain calm and keep to the point. Don’t become the overbearing lunatic they remember for lecturing them about the benefits of homeschooling through the appertif, the starter, the main, the dessert and the cheese course. You will never hear from them again and they will possibly escape out of the bathroom window half-way through the evening.

 

4. Lots of people are looking for love, partnership, marriage, commitment. Male or female, don’t become the dreaded ‘Bridezilla’ who details your perfect ceremony within five minutes of meeting a potential lifemate. You run the risk of looking more interested in the big party and the presents than the contract a wedding celebrates – that of lifelong partnership and support. Resist the temptation to interrogate your date about their marriage prospects and leave that chestnut for another time, when you are further into the relationship than the hors d’oeuvres.

 

5. Yes, it is scary and nerve wracking to meet someone for the first time, especially when you feel pressure and hope for that person to be, you know, it. The One. Being intoxicated is something alcoholics and drug addicts do, if you don’t want to appear to be teetering on the edge of sane control or about to be shipped off to prison for possession, refrain from imbibing too much or taking anything suspect. Unless you are an alcoholic or drug addict, in which case cancel your date and head off to rehabilitation therapy instead.

 

The moral of the story? When on a date, be calm, collected and view yourself from afar to keep yourself in check. There is plenty of time for them to discover your collection of garden gnomes, your need to eat a chocolate hobnob every day at 4pm and your desire to make tutus for future baby girls. However, save those gems for a later date, when they will appear charming instead of crazy.

 

 

1. When it’s Summer, come rain or shine you want to be outside. Even in the Southern Hemisphere’s Winter, it’s warm enough that outside is still a great dating option.

 

UK – Southerners, head to Exeter and the Clip’n’Climb wall for some lighthearted vertical activity. Chill off afterwards with a pub garden pint.

 

USA – New Yorkers, head to the Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival to see traditional boats race down the river and to sample delicacies like sticky rice wrapped in palm leaves.

 

OZ – Try Earl’s Juke Joint in Sydney for some tasty cocktails and a comfortable atmosphere that will have you and your date chilling in no time.

 

2. Taking the kids along with you now they are on holiday? Here are some activities you can all do together.

 

UK – Zip off to Edinburgh and visit Craigies to pick your own delicious soft fruit and introduce the kids to the joys of fresh strawberries.

 

USA – San Franciscans, pack a picnic, head to the Kite Shop to be fully kitted out and then go on a kite flying championship with the kids.

 

OZ – Get them excited about space and the final frontier (for free!) at this NASA installation in Canberra.

3. Feeling flush, or really adventurous? Try these date plans on for size to really impress your date and have a fab time.

 

UK – Head to the Electric Picnic Festival near Dublin to enjoy a weekend of good music, international foods and dancing together.

 

USA – For sheer, terrifying novelty value, go to the Boston preliminaries of the Air Sex World Championships – yes, you read that right. Maybe not for the faint of heart?

 

OZ – If you have a few hundred dollars to hand, try this Duck & Wine evening in Melbourne and enjoy many, many delicious courses together.

We’ve all been there. Freshly arrived at your date venue, waiting for your, as yet unmet, internet date to wander suavely through the door and greet you.

 

They enter. They seem to be normal. They look like their profile picture. They smile and kiss you on the cheek to say hello. Thus, they have lured you into falsely having hope that maybe, just maybe, they will be The One.

 

Then it happens. Something about them, during the course of your date will be revealed and you will fixate on it. I mean, obsess. Completely and utterly be unable to remove it from your mind. The date will end and you will go home disappointed and ready to tell anyone who will listen about, well, that thing. What was it again? You know it was something awful…

 

Are you guilty of this behavior? Working yourself up to meet a person you connected with on Free and Single, only to convince yourself it could never work as a relationship within the first thirty minutes due to some indefinable characteristic? I don’t suppose you are just being picky, are you?

 

We all have little things that annoy us. For me, its the sound of people eating with their mouth open. Bleurgh. If a date lacked basic table manners or grammatical ability, I’d immediately downgrade them from ‘Possible Mate’ to ‘No way, Jose!’

 

So, in order to help us make a favourable first impression, I have a little list of no-nos that could be the difference between thirty minutes and thirty dates.

What not to do on a first date

Top Ten List of What NOT to do on a Date

  1. Leaving your coat/hat/gloves on during your posh dinner for no apparent reason.
  2. Not knowing when to stop drinking and having to be carried home or put into a taxi which charges extra in case you throw up on the upholstery.
  3. Talking exhaustively about your ex, your relationship, what went wrong, how you could have done better and ending by sobbing uncontrollably. (Hint: You’re not ready to date yet!)
  4. Berating the waiter, maitre’d, hostess, manager, or indeed, anyone at all is bad manners.
  5. Picking your nose, burping loudly, farting, dribbling, or any other private bodily functions should remain private. At least until your thirtieth wedding anniversary.
  6. Ordering lots of food, sending it back to the kitchen, getting continual refills, eating everything in sight and then patting your pockets at the end of the meal with a ‘Sorry, left my card at home!’
  7. Talking of ordering, let your date order for themselves unless they expressly ask you to do it for them. There is nothing more annoying than someone you have just met choosing your meal for you.
  8. Top up drinks unless you have both agreed. (Also see No. 2). No-one wants to be pressured into drinking more than they feel comfortable with, or feel forced into matching you drink for drink, even if you can down twenty pints with no ill effect. (Ha!)
  9. Start an interrogation. Medical history, past relationships, daily routines and dietary activity are all subjects that have no place at the first date table.
  10. Stand them up. No matter how nervous you are, or how much you are immediately convinced on catching a glimpse of them at the bar that they hold no interest for you, never, never,  stand someone up. You are not to hurt someone who is just out, putting themselves on the line and looking for love, same as you. Always give them a chance. Always.

 

Who has seen the TV show Dates?

I started watching Dates in the expectation that it would show couples meeting, give me tips on first date nerves, venues and fashion, and it has to an extent, done just that. However, the show deals with actual real-life scenarios as opposed to the perfect, ‘everything-will-work-out-for-the-best’ Rom-Coms of cinematic fame.

 

I like the idea of everything working out. I’m a romantic at heart, I like to think everyone will get their happy-ever-after. While many of the characters in Dates do go on to start new relationships, it has yet to be with the person they meet on their date. Instead, the show explores the idea that meeting a new person can help clarify your own purpose in signing up to an internet dating site.

 

Why Did You Sign Up For Internet Dating?

Have you registered for online dating to ignore a bad break-up? To try and please your family? With hope that you can escape loneliness? Whatever your reasons were for taking the plunge and signing up, Dates shows that that action is just the beginning of your adventure into the dating world.

 

I think one of the key take-away points from Dates is that one date, one possible match, one person, should not be the be-all and end-all of your dating career. Sure, a lucky 1% may meet their first internet date in person and they’ll both be set for life. How lovely. For the rest of us, it takes work, effort and perseverance. So instead of looking at dating as a second job, desperate to find ‘The One’ and get on with living your life together, try to see dating as a means of meeting new people who just happen to be single.

 

Yes, there is pressure to deliver on dates. However, if you can ignore that and just have a good time, relax and enjoy finding out about someone you haven’t met before, you never know what you could find. Some you won’t see again. A few may turn out to be good acquaintances in the future. You might even find a new best friend, someone you really connect with but have no special chemistry with.

 

Embracing opportunity, experiencing new things and opening up to new people all push you just outside of your usual comfort zone and help to create the person you’ll be when you do meet your other half for the first time.

 

Let this be a Summer of dating and opportunity!

 

You have your fail safe dating outfit – you know the one I mean, the Little Black Dress and semi-comfy heels for the ladies, the smart dark shirt and leather loafers for the guys.

 

However, when the temperature outside is rising at an unprecedented rate, what on earth do you wear in order to still be comfortable, cool and chic – without turning into a sweaty, red-faced, parched fish out of water?

 

Well, I have some answers for you. None of these outfits should require more effort than you would be putting into a date outfit anyway – some may even require less. They will all keep you cool, calm and collected, ready to meet your date in style and go forth to have a fantastic time. Let it never be said that it was the outfit that ruined the date.

 

Ladies

 

Formal

If you find yourself invited to attend a formal event on the arm of a suave gentleman, first things first – Google the event and find out the exact dress code. You laugh, but people have been shunned at excessively formal events for nothing more than wearing the wrong colour, the thickness of their straps or the angle of their headgear. I don’t say this to scare you – just to warn you that knowing exactly what you are preparing for is the key to success.

After you know the etiquette of strapless vs. plunge, coloured nail polish vs. nude and heels vs. wedges (never attend an open air event on grass in heels!), you will be better equipped to put together your outfit.

  • Stick to classic lines that you know suit your shape. A 50’s style dress is usually a winner, flattering everybody and helping to keep you cool due to the voluminous skirts.
  • Wear appropriately coloured underwear in your size – sounds obvious, but many ladies persist in wearing black thongs a size too small under their floaty Summer dress and heads up; we can all see way more than we ever wanted to.
  • Choose light, Summer colours and fabrics. Berry velvet is stunning in Winter, sweltering in Summer. Raspberry pink silk chiffon however, keeps you cool and suits the season.
What to wear on a hot date in the Summer? This formal cocktail dress!

After Work

Possibly the trickiest of all dressing situations – you have to somehow seamlessly mesh demure, hardworking, empowered women with flirty, fun-loving empowered women. Not to mention you still have to look good at a time you would usually be stripping off your work day clothes and slipping into some fresh and more relaxed.

The key with this one is preparation. Know how you are getting from work to your date, where it is and how to find it. Sort out your transportation tickets, or where you’re going to park beforehand. With all of the important stuff behind you, you can take that little bit of extra time to freshen yourself up.

  • Your hair is the easiest way to move from day to night. Pack some travel-sized hair products in your bag and remove yourself to the ladies bathroom once you’re done for the day. Wear your hair in a bun for work, then shake it loose, add dry shampoo and hairspray to voluminise and add shine.
  • Change your top and shoes. Ditch the smart shirt and blazer from your skirt suit and add a silk camisole or simple tee shirt and tuck it into your skirt waistband. Pop out of your courts and into some sexy coloured slingbacks or comfy leather wedges.
  • Touch up your make-up, with a little accentuation on either your lips or your eyes for the evening ahead. Re-fresh your perfume, brush your teeth and wash your hands. You are good to go!

What to wear on a hot date after work? A sophisticated coloured lace top! Casual

The temptation to wear shorts, flip flops and a vest top can be overwhelming – as can the temptation to just not move at all when it’s hot outside. However, it’s still a date, you want to look like you have made some effort! Decide what you’ll be doing on the date – whether going for a stroll, grabbing some croissants to eat in the park or heading to the beach for ice cream and paddling. Use that to theme your outfit and take all the stress out of deciding what to wear.

  • Keep your hair up off your neck with a sleek, stylish ponytail or messy ballerina bun. Use headscarves and hats to keep your head protected from a day out in the sunshine, as well as add a finishing touch to your look.
  • Feel free to wear a supportive bikini under your outfit to be ready in case you go for a dip in the sea and to avoid bra straps popping out from under your carefully chosen racer back vest top.
  • Wear proper sandals, with painted toenails instead of battered old flip flops and dress up your trusty vest-and-shorts combo with a lightweight cardigan in a bright colour or ditch it entirely and choose a pretty Summer dress for your date.
What to wear on a casual hot date? A cute cotton sundress!

Guys

 

Formal

Ah no! The dreaded suit and tie situation. Well, as with the ladies, its a good idea to do a little bit of prep work before sorting your outfit for your date – no point pulling out the trusty black suit if the occasion you’ll be attending has a ‘Summerweight light grey morning suit only’ policy. Consider hiring the appropriate suit if it is unlikely you’ll need to use it again, or ask around your friends to see if one of them could lend you the right style. Don’t cut corners – if the dress code says ‘morning suit’, don’t turn up in tails.

  • Fabric is your friend here – choose a suit made of a cotton and silk mix. Linen creases like there is no tomorrow (and no one wants to be ironing in the heat!) and man-made fibres will have you sweating buckets, as will Winter weight wool and tweed numbers.
  • Choose a light colour if possible – if not for your actual suit, then for your shirt, with a brighter accent colour on your tie. Soft grey and yellow work well, as do white and pale green.
  • Never underestimate the power of your feet to make your entire day uncomfortable if they are not properly taken care of. Slip on thin silk knit socks for the occasion, or if you know your shoes are comfortable, go sockless. Don’t feel ashamed to carry blister plasters, just in case.

What to wear on a formal hot date? A light grey summer suit!

 

After Work

This can be pretty easy for guys. Feel free to play around with colours and fabrics, but the classic cuts usually favoured for work attire will take you almost anywhere.

  • If you work in a formal environment, switch your shirt over for a fresh one, ditch your tie and leave the collar and top button undone.
  • If your office is a casual affair, switch out your shorts for some proper trousers and shoes and consider changing your tee shirt if its been sweltering that day.
  • Wash your face with cool water and gently dry your skin with a handtowel. Freshen up with some cologne, brush your teeth, wash your hands and you’ll feel much better.

What to wear for an after work hot date? Ditch the tie!

Casual

As with the ladies, determine where you are going for your date. You’ll want to be prepared at a moments notice to deal with possible situations, from a dip in the local pool, to a picnic under the trees in the park.

  • Proper shoes are required wearing in almost any restaurant, cafe or venue. Ignore your flip flops and wear loafers, boat shoes, even TOMS are better than the usual thonged sandal.
  • A brightly coloured tee shirt is always a good choice in the heat, but be wary of any with potentially offensive slogans – better to keep those for guys night, huh? Otherwise, casual cotton shirts can have their sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone to keep you cool in more ways than one.
  • If you’re going with shorts instead of trousers, keep them board-short style, in a darker fabric. No jean shorts, hawaii print shorts or, god forbid, short shorts allowed. Ever.
What to wear on a hot casual first date? Jeans and a shirt!

 

Summer flings can be a lot of fun for dating singles

Times are a-changin’

Something about the change in season, the rising temperatures and the proximity of Pimms causes most people to start daydreaming about Summer romance. While you want someone to snuggle up with during the long cold Winter months, Summer is a time for getting out and about, being spontaneous and just kicking back and enjoying life.

 

Will you, won’t you?

Of course, the trouble with Summer flings is that often, they evolve more intensely and at a faster pace than a normal relationship due to the excitement of the season and the time ticking away until it starts chucking it down with rain again. Sometimes, this isn’t a problem, both parties having entered the fling with the knowledge that the end will come and thus savouring the sweeter moments of the tryst all the more. Of course, it doesn’t always work out this way and you have to think about what you want before you get involved with someone.

 

You’ve got a crush and you’ve got it bad…

If you have been single a while and have had no luck in finding a potential partner, then when a seemingly perfect Summer fling fills your days with fun, laughter and a feeling of intimacy, you are quickly going to find yourselves falling head over heels. When the fling ends along with BBQ season, you’re going to be crushed and even more unlikely to feel up to dating other people. So consider your heart carefully before jumping into any relationships you know can’t have a future.

 

Some sage advice to follow

If you have ‘The Conversation’ to discuss where your fledgling romance is headed, be clear about what it is you want and do not settle. Never remain in a relationship with someone who only wants a fling if you want something more. You can’t change them, you won’t convince them otherwise – you’ll only end up hurt and alone.

 

But what if..?

Of course, there is the possibility that your Summer fling is the one for you, in which case, let the relationship grow naturally. You wouldn’t demand answers about your future from a someone you had only been seeing for two weeks in the real world, why would you try that tactic just because it’s hot outside and you’re in a holiday mood? If the weather turns Autumnal and you’re still meeting up from impromptu picnics in the park at lunch or discussing what to do next weekend together, relax into it and enjoy. Don’t feel the need to start classifying your relationship or forcing it.